Confidence: Be your own best friend.
Hello, My Friends
There are three types of business that we as human love to dabble in.
Two of these businesses, we have no control over and the more time we spend here, the more we freak ourselves out.
Which has an impact on how we see the world around us, which impacts our confidence.
These three businesses are
The weather, the economy, the state of the world, global events.
These things may affect us on a personal level, and we have choices on how we respond to these events. However we have no control on making direct changes to the economy or the weather.
Worrying about these things sap your energy and leaves you unable to manage what is within your ability to change.
Other people’s business.
This links into being a rescuer, or advice giver, or deciding how the neighbour should take care of their lawns.
Other people are responsible for what is happening in their lives.
When we begin to take control (or try to, we can never control anyone else’s actions) we prevent the person we are controlling from taking charge of their business.
Worrying about other people and how they are living also saps your energy, you are focusing all attention on what someone else is doing and not taking care of what must do.
This is the only business you should be in. It is the only business you can make a change to.
Other people and God’s business will have impacts on your business.
Your challenge is to reduce these impacts by forward planning.
I have mentioned the Red Velvet Rope policy already.
This is when you decide what you want in your life, and you also decide what you want in your life.
Now, this policy is for you, it is what you want to see happen in your life.
It is an invitation if you like, which you give to other people. These people are only allowed into your space if they abide by your rules.
Remember this is about what you want and not what anyone else is doing. You can not change or control anyone else, ever.
You can state what you expect to happen, and what you will do if it doesn’t happen. (This is not about punishment, or revenge, or pay back, this is about safety barriers for you and your emotional wellbeing.)
Let’s say you have a friend who is constantly late, and you’ve decided that you are worthy of respecting yourself by leaving for your plans on time.
Your affirmation is I am a woman who is organised and on time.
You friend is not known for her punctuality. The first time she is late, you let her know, kindly and firmly that you want to leave on time for your appointments, whether that is going to the movies, or giong to the restaurant, catching a bus or train for a guided tour.
Your friend smiles, and you tell her, if she continues to be late, you will leave at the designated time, with or without her.
This now puts your friend’s promptness in her business, and removes it from yours.
The secret to this is to have the respect for yourself that you want and follow through on what you have said you would do.
Your friend will not be happy, again you state your standard, “I respect myself by leaving on time for my plans. You can either arrive on time or make your own way there.
It is your decision, I am still your friend, I still care about you, I also care about being on time.”
Now your friend knows you mean what you say, and will either choose to be on time or choose not to be on time.
And you will choose to leave on time as planned.
This process is not about the other person it is about you gaining confidence in yourself, your standards, your beliefs.
Today’s Seed of Greatness is Become your own best friend, show up for yourself with love and kindness.
As a life coach it is my intention to help you to live your best life, every day.
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If you want to gain mastery over feeling anxious and uncertain and replace these emotions with empowering confidence contact me for coaching.
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