Discipline:Perfectionism is an illusion
Hello, My Friends
Perfection is an illusion.
We fall into the perfection trap when we believe that we can only earn love, acceptance, appreciation and many other emotional needs.
We are taught unwittingly, I believe by those raising us, that when do something they like, then we get rewarded.
That reward might be hugs and cuddles, which as children we depend upon to feel loved, accepted and wanted.
Sometimes that reward is food, or toys.
What we learn is that when I’m ‘good’ I get things I like, and when I’m ‘bad’ I don’t.
The beginnings of the perfection trap has been set.
Depending on how unconditionally we were loved, we learned that we got more from life if we pleased other people.
Now, pleasing others is not a ‘bad’ thing.
It becomes a noose that binds us to perfection when we please others at the expense of ourselves.
We are taught as children to share, even when we don’t want to.
Sharing is a worthy character trait, only when it is given freely, without strings attached or expectation of reward.
How perfectionism works is we outsource our emotional needs to others, believing they can give us what we need.
This is never true. Everything we need, is an emotion, a feeling and we can give these feelings and emotions to ourselves.
Learning to break the cycle of emotional outsourcing -aka perfectionism helps to bring your emotions home to you.
Perfectionism, is based in fear, fear that we’re not good enough, fear that what we are doing won’t be good enough. So we strive to make sure everything is perfect.
But, it never is enough, we never feel the satisfaction of a job well done, because we’re always looking over our shoulder to see how someone else is seeing what we’ve done.
And we’re moving onto the next thing, pleasing the next person, and crying out within ourselves for some one to accept us, to give us appreciation, or recognition.
To break the cycle of perfectionism is to learn to give yourself the emotional recognition, give yourself the emotional acceptance, give yourself the emotional appreciation you desire.
My anti-perfectionist affirmation is NEAR ENOUGH IS GOOD ENOUGH. These five words give me the power to let go and do.
They allow me to submit the study papers on time.
They allow me to stop excessive cleaning,
They allow me to write and publish.
These five words keep me moving forward and loving myself.
These five words let me know that what I do, doesn’t determine my emotional worth, I determine what emotions I feel, and I feel good about me, when I live witout perfectionism ruling my life.
Today’s challenge is to Do one item on your to do list, and do it good enough, then tick it off. And feel good about about it.
As a life coach it is my intention to help you to live your best life, every day.
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