Respect for others
Hello, My Friends
The only person you can control is you.
It is an illusion that you control other people.
The red velvet rope policy is an insurance policy that keeps you living in your lane.
When you are feeling frustrated and annoyed with someone else’s behaviour, your proximity alarm is sounding, warning you that some-one is about to trigger your red velvet rope, and you need to apply your policy.
This may look like a friend who is always late. L-A-T-E enough that you miss shows you are booked to see. Late enough that what you wanted to do with this friend is tension filled rather than the fun you hoped it would be.
It’s not your friend that is the issue. Her lateness is part of who she is.
What the issue is, you don’t have a velvet rope policy around what is acceptable to you in relation to time management.
Your friend doesn’t respect her time, and this is spilling over to you, encroaching on your time management.
You can not change your friend, only she can do that.
You can put a policy in place around your time.
This may be that you adjust what time you tell your friend she needs to be meeting you. Tell her 15 mins earlier than is needed. She’s not silly, she’ll figure that out and you’ll right where you are.
By implementing a red velvet rope policy of “I am leaving at the designated time whether you are here or not.” Puts the responsibility for her lateness back onto her.
And you are taking responsibility for your emotions, feelings and actions.
The most difficult part of this policy will be sticking to your agreement with yourself.
Your friend may try to use all forms of manipulation on your emotions, trying to make you feel guilty for leaving her behind.
Your standard is, you leave at the designated time, whether she is there or not.
You respect yourself enough to follow your plans.
You respect your friend enough to stop allowing her to be your sabotage tool, and to show her how you want to be treated, by treating yourself in that manner.
The red velvet rope policy is a form of showing respect to you and to others.
It begins with you, your standard.
This policy is not used for revenge, or punishment. On yourself or others, it is a form of loving yourself and giving you what you need.
You can’t give what you don’t have.
Today’s question is… What is your greatest frustration? What policy do you require?
Until tomorrow, all frustration, is letting you know where your velvet rope needs to placed, focus on what want, and set up a red velvet rope policy around your standard and follow through with enforcing it.
oxoxo Linda
As a certified Life Coach, I help you to help yourself, so you can create a well lived life your way.
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