Respect from others
Hello, My Friends
Most people respect those who have standards and are willing to stand up to those standards.
This involves facing the uncomfortable emotions of possibly going against the grain of everyone else.
It takes a strong person to own their standards, and allow others to own their standards.
Especially when these standards are in contrast with each other.
Today I want to give you a little insight into what my coach calls the “Red Velvet Rope Policy”
A red velvet rope is an invitation.
When you meet the criteria of the invitation you get access to the venue.
Your standards are the criteria of the invitation.
The velvet rope policy is personal to you, it is what you value, how you want to be treated, what you want in your space.
This policy is for your well-being and safety.
Your personal time and energy are the venue.
When you decide on a standard and put your red velvet rope around that standard, only those with an invitation are able to enter your space.
And if you find, you let the rope down and allowed a behaviour you don’t enjoy into your personal space, you get to ask the body guard to escort them from your space.
Who is the body guard? You are. You explain to the person who has violated your boundary, what they have done, politely without anger or malice.
No-one hears anything when they feeling attacked.
Within your policy you will have pre-decided what will happen if your standard is breeched.
This is when you tell the person who has violated your space, what you will do if it happens again. This might look like you walking out of the room, or you asking them to leave, or you gently reminding them ‘we don’t speak like that here.’ It also may look like you not allowing them access to you, your time, or your energy.
For this standard to work, you have to follow through on whatever you have said, every time there is a gap between what you want and what is. You are in essence training, yourself first to be true to what you say you want, and second you are training those around you in how you expect to be treated, and talked to.
Your red velvet rope policy is about your standards, you re-enforcing what you believe and want within yourself and others.
Today’s question is… Do you have a Red Velvet Rope policy?
Until tomorrow, think about what standards are important to you ?
How do you maintain these standards?
When are these standards most often breeched and by whom?
What rope can you put in place to keep these breeches from occurring?
oxoxo Linda
As a certified Life Coach, I help you to help yourself, so you can create a well lived life your way.
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