The Month of Self-Love: -Week Five

Hello, My Friends,

Goodness, hasn’t this month flown by.

This is the final review for the Month of Self-Love. So many great things to learn and do, showing your brain you love yourself without conditions.

This week has flown by. Hubby and I went out with friends for an evening playing pool. So much fun. Why is it that the danged little white ball loves to skive off into the corner pockets, without warning too. I’m no master at the pool table, but I did enjoy the company and the game.

This week we begin on day 22. If you want to catch up on the previous days of Self-Love head over to Facebook and look for me @lindacodlin25, or @authenticlivingwithlinda and you will be able to scroll through the entire month and glean the pearls that your life needs right now.

Okay so on Day 22 we were talking about energy.

Energy is always in motion, it is never static. This is one reason why change is a constant reality.

In the human body this energy is transmitted by electromagnetic waves that are created by vibrations between an electric field and a magnetic field. Our body produces tiny impulses, that our brain transmits along neurological tracks, it is believed that every cell in our body can communicate with every other cell via these electromagnetic waves.

What great news for restoring health and well being to our bodies.

As we have the ability to influence these vibrational impulses, we have the ability to increase our health.

Our physical body is always communicating with us. Often we are too busy or preoccupied to listen to the signals it is giving.

If we don’t read the signal when they are small, our body will use bigger signals to get our attention.

Headaches, stomach upsets, tight muscles, clenched teeth are all ways our body is trying to tell us some-thing.

All our feelings and emotions begin in the brain as a thought.

We get to control the thoughts that we think, what we don’t get to control is how the body interprets those thoughts and then reacts with our bodies.

Self-Love is the mindful act of becoming aware of what your body is trying to tell you.

Self-love is having the courage to investigate the cause of your bodies dis-stress, to look at what vibration is pulsing through your body.

Do you have blockages that prevent your electromagnetic waves from flowing easily?

These blockages could be the thoughts that are keeping you from getting the results you want in your life.

These electromagnetic waves can be likened to the frequencies of a radio wave. When you tune your radio into a station you are picking up their vibrational frequency. And only while you’re on the same frequency as the radio will you hear the music. Once you move out of range the frequency will be lost.

This is kind of how I imagine the electromagnetic waves work in our bodies. The higher your vibration the easier it is for your life to flow.

When there are no blockages the energy vibrates freely and moves freely.

When we have a ‘negative’ thought, this thought impacts our energy flow.

I believe all our thoughts and feelings are valid and show us some thing we need to know. ‘Negative’ or ‘positive’ are terms we have placed on them depending on the flow of our energy vibration.

If you want your energy to flow freely through your body, life and beyond, then you need to investigate what your body, through feelings and emotions is trying to tell you.

It is through electromagnetic vibration that we read people, we get a sense of who they are and what they are about. This is your ‘gut feeling’ and shouldn’t be ignored.

Your mind deciphers these vibrations and lets you whether you are safe or not. And then your brain send signals to your body to act.

Use your electromagnetic field to improve your life, learn to move up the vibrational frequency range, clear the static, and unhealthy, unhelpful thoughts and actions.

Live your life on purpose.

Think deliberately.

Ask your body what it needs. (Then listen for the answer, and give it what it really needs.)

Day 24 we looked at forgiveness, this is one of the quickest ways I know to change your vibrational frequency. Holding on to unforgiveness is like hanging onto a chain strapped around your leg with the key in the lock.

Forgiveness is some thing we do for ourselves.

It has nothing to do with the event that is causing you pain.

On day 24 I explain how I came to the discovery that forgiveness is all about freedom, freeing me from the invisible cords that held me captive to the people I perceived had hurt me.

I wrote a blog about the process I used called ‘Invisible cords That hold you back’ in Aug 2020 if you want to have a look at it.

I use the four step approach of

1) I’m sorry

2) I forgive you ( Forgive me, for my part)

3) Thank You

4) I Love you

These 4 steps have been so powerful to the freedom I have today.

They have cut the cords and removed the arrows that were causing me so much pain.

Forgiveness of yourself is vital for self-love. How can you love yourself when you constantly nag and beat yourself up for mistakes in your past?

Begin the process of removing the toxic arrows and the invisible cords that hold you bound to the hurts and people from your past. Freedom is waiting for you. Your electromagnetic waves are waiting for you to move into the next vibrational level, and forgiveness is one of the paths to do this.

The fruits of forgiveness are (day 25)

1. Emotional Freedom- (Which spills over into every realm of your life.)
2. Resilience- (Freedom from the opinions and agenda of others.)
3. Love- (Self-Love, You can only love others to the degree that you love yourself.)
4. Grace- (The space to be human and have human experiences and emotions)

You set the standards of your life, Set your standards high.

Self-love is about standards, what you value, how you want to be treated, how you show up for yourself.

Perfectionism is not self-love, perfectionism keeps you locked up in the tower of appearances.

You have to act or look a certain way to be lovable, acceptable or worthy.

This is untrue, you get to act and look however you want to. My caution with this -look at the results you are getting by choosing to act or look the way you are.

Are you happy with your results?

Do your results satisfy the person you know you really are?

Are you living your life to some-one else’s agenda?

Are you constantly seeking the approval and validation of others?

When we live in perfectionism, we tend to have a lot of negative self chatter, telling us how bad we are, how we’re not as good as other people, living in fear we will be discovered for the fraud we feel we are.

By accepting who you are, what you like and don’t like is the beginning to breaking free from having to be perfect.

You set the standards to your life.

Why set them so high you will never maintain them?

Why set yourself up to fail when you don’t need to?

Be realistic about your strengths and limitations.

Perfection is an illusion, it is unattainable, and unmaintainable.

The cost of perfection is your soul.

Choose freedom for yourself.

Choose self-love by setting manageable standards and letting those in your life know what they are.

Does the very thought of setting standards for yourself grip your heart in fear?

On day 27 we discuss fear as another illusion of modern day life.

Fear is a healthy response to danger.

We have four responses to fear.

1) Fight (Our body gets a surge of adrenalin and we move towards the danger)

2) Flight ( We also have a surge of adrenalin but we run away as far and as fast as we can from the danger)

3) Fright/Freeze (We go into shock and are unable to move. Our body does not respond.)

4) Flow ( To weigh up the situation and decide to go with it, not to resist.)

F= False

E= Emotion

A= Appearing

R= Real

Fear drives us to do so many things that we would not ordinarily do.

We are afraid to feel our emotions, so we eat, we drink, we gamble, we play computer games, we binge on movies.

Fear has us living small and insignificant lives.

Emotional fear is an electromagnetic vibration surging through your body.

Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion that is triggered by the perception of danger real or imagined.

By looking at the triggers of your unpleasant emotions you can move from fear to freedom.

Behind ever trigger is a thought.

Your job is to discover what that thought is. And to create a better more helpful thought.

Remember every-thing is created twice.

Once with your thoughts

Twice with your actions.

You get to decide what you want to think about the fear that has held you captive.

You get to move your thoughts closer to what you want.

On day 28 we look at the thought ladder and who to use it move your thoughts from a place of I can’t to I can.

A thought ladder is basically a ladder of thoughts that your brain can believe as you take action in moving towards your goal.

Without the incremental stages of the ladder your mind argues with your new thought or belief.

To unravel the thought that is holding you captive, you get to look at the fear.

1. Name the Fear. ‘The fear of rejection’
2. Investigate where it came from. What was happening at the time? (Speaking in front of the class at school)
3. Was it a real danger or perceived danger? (Perceived)
4. Where do you feel this fear in your body? (Throat)
5. What emotions rise to the surface? (Awareness of being visible)
6. Give this emotion a one word name. (Embarrassment)
7. What is the thought behind the emotion? It will be a short sentence. ( I look like a fool.)
8. What is the opposite thought? (I know what I’m talking about.)

The top of your thought ladder will have ‘I know what I’m talking about and I speak in public to large audiences with confidence.’

The bottom of your ladder would have what your fear is now. ‘I can’t speak in public to save myself.’

The rungs on the ladder will have statements that you can move into believing. Things like ‘I can speak” your brain says yes that’s true.

Next step could be, “I can speak one on one in a group.”

Each step is a little more believable to your brain, and is backed up with action.

As you practice each action and gain more experience and evidence your brain believes what you are telling it and eventually you will be speaking to large audiences in public without fear.

I cover this in more detail on day 28 on my Facebook Page @authenticlivingwithlinda or @lindacodlin25

I am creating a Pleasure portfolio to record and remind me that life is intended to be enjoyed, to have fun and to work out what I actually like to do. It is a bit like the Bucket List, but for enjoyment.

The pleasure portfolio has been instrumental in my trying out new and different meals, activities and variations of things I already know I like. I ask myself questions like.

What is your favourite perfume to wear?

What is your favourite flower and why?

What is your favourite healthy food?

When did you last whistle?

When did you jump for joy last?

Each of these questions leads to an action, which I record in my book and when I do it I tick it off and write how I felt about it.

This has seen me facing a few unfounded fears, and dredging a few real ones that need heading off before they can cause havoc else where in my life.

I would encourage you to make a list of the things you used to like and try them out again to see if they are still something you can do or want to do.

Finally I covered celebrating.

This is something I feel we as the human race do not do enough of.

We don’t give ourselves a pat on the back when we have done some thing well.

We seem to be so focused on the next thing on our list, we forget to look back at what we have done.

To feel the pride of a good job well done.

We don’t celebrate the small and insignificant successes that we achieve everyday.

Celebrate drinking 7 glasses of water.

Celebrate your children coming home from school all excited about their day.

Celebrate the flowers growing in your garden.

Celebrate your friends, your husband/wife, your partner and children.

There are a thousand different ways you can celebrate, all the victories that you have in a day.

Celebrate when you didn’t reach for an extra serving of food.

Celebrate when you know you responded better to your snappy colleague.

Create a little routine for yourself to acknowledge all the things you do well. It might be a small fist pump, or a quick two step, it might be an invisible arm rub. up and down your arm, or a quick hand clasp. Only you (and your brain) know the significance of the action.

Watch as your brain cotton’s on to what you are doing. It will begin to show you more things you do right and that are worth celebrating.

By celebrating you are raising your emotional vibrational frequency which draws more good things to you.

I hope you have gained a few tips and tools that you can use on your journey to more self-love.

Keep an eye out on my Facebook page, I will be adding more tips and tools as the year progresses.

Until next time

Discover you, find out who you are, what your authentic self looks and feels like.

Give yourself the love you deserve.

Bye

Linda Codlin