Relationship growth and adaptability

Have you ever felt like you were outgrowing your partner?
That your relationship was stagnating, and you were heading in different directions.
In this blog I give you 5 tips on how you can both get on the same page in your relationship.

Welcome to Authentic Living with Linda
I’m Linda Codlin

Welcome, My Friends.

This past week has been filled with the anticipation of moving.
Hubby and I decided to put our home on the market, it is time for us to move onto other adventures and challenges.
I am so grateful that we live by the philosophy that if we don’t love it, don’t use it, or it’s not appealing to us, it has no place in our space.
This philosophy has seen us with a ready to sell home within a few weeks of making a decision.
The interesting thing about this, is how we sell ourselves on our stuff. In our clearing out everything that isn’t essential to our day to day living, we have found items we have kept, just in case, or we had intended to use it, but never did.
Some of the items are left over from past hobbies, and interests that are no longer part of our lives.
Shedding these emotional ties gives us freedom to look with anticipation to the future and what we want to see happen for us.

Today I want to talk about continuous growth and adaptability in relationships.
There is one thing you are sure of in a relationship, and that is over time, it will change.
People change, life throws curve balls and as we deal with the situation, we change, we learn new things, new ways of being.
In a relationship this can cause strife if one partner appears to be growing more than the other.
Also if one partner wants to control everything to stay as it always has been, and the other partner wants to expand to new things.

Today I want to share with you five ways you can encourage change, learning and connection, while nurturing an environment of growth, experimentation and mutual support.

1. Encourage open and honest authentic communication. Create a safe space where both partners feel comfortable in expressing their thoughts, feelings and fears.
   Begin the open conversation by sharing your experiences, your challenges, your hopes and desires in a non judgmental way and non blaming way.
   Be open to your partner’s perspective without judgment or bias, remember their views are important to them and are as valid as anyone else’s.
2. Engage in activities that you can both experience together. Choose activities that will promote learning and self discovery for each of you.
   Some activities you could include are, trying new hobbies. Do partner #1’s idea for one week or one month and then try out partner #2’s idea the next week or the next month.
   Each partner giving the others hobby a fair trial, this could include attending workshops or classes.
   Together you may want to travel to new places that are foreign to both of you, so you get to share all the experiences together as new.
   Shared experiences create opportunities for mutual learning, mutual discovery and deeper connections, which strengthen the bond between partners.
3. Listen with empathy to your partner, hear their thoughts and feelings without interruption, judgment or blame.
   This demonstrates your genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings. Ask your partner clarifying questions that will deepen your understanding of what they see, hear, feel, and experience, it will also help you to get a picture, feeling on why they may or may not want to participate in a certain activity.
   Validate your partners authentic experience, listen to their fears, and dreams. This will also give you a deeper sense of connection and understanding within your relationship.
4. Encourage personal development, when you support each other to grow it also enhances each one’s own personal journey.
   When you encourage your partner, and are encouraged yourself to pursue your passions, interests and goals you will have the opportunity to come together and share your learnings and experiences adding depth and freshness to your conversations.
   When you further your education, your professional development or your personal enrichment activities you are increasing the value you bring to your self and your relationship.
5. As a couple or team, set aside a dedicated time for reflection within your relationship. This could involve weekly check-ins or monthly relationship catch ups, where you discuss what is working well, what you appreciate, and what you value in your relationship.
   It is also a good time for evaluating areas that may require improvement, or fine tuning to achieve your relationship goals.
   Having a set, or designated time for regular communication promotes self-awareness, and allows for problem-solving while issues are still small.
   Structured communication prevents the feelings of being under the spot-light, both parties get to answer and comment on the same questions.

By adding these five practices to your relationship, you create an environment that encourages change, learning and connection.
When you embrace being vulnerable with each other, creating space for shared experiences, listen with your whole being, and support personal growth with regular conversations, you enhance and strengthen the bond between partners.

Until next time my friends, start a conversation with your dearest relationship partner. Create two or three core questions each for you both to answer, then set a time, date for your catch-up, make it fun, use it as a relationship date time, with dinner and a movie after.

xoxo Linda.

As a certified Life Coach, I help you to help yourself, so you can create a well lived life your way. 

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