Step two of the four step process I use to forgive myself and others.
I forgive you.
When was the last time you said these words to yourself?
Forgiving yourself is part of loving yourself.
Forgiveness is for you, and about you. Setting you free.
Welcome to Authentic Living Coaching, The Podcast,
I’m your hostess, Linda Codlin
I am a certified life coach, and the founder of Authentic Living Coaching.
I am passionate about helping you to help yourself.
It is my intention that each and every one of us has the
information we need to make the best decisions about the way we choose to live our lives.
Living life on your terms, and being your authentic self.
Hello, My Friends
Welcome to Episode # 35
Loving yourself through self forgiveness Part Two.
Forgiving yourself is the greatest act of love you can extend to yourself.
Last time we spoke about the four parts I use to forgive myself and others.
Remember forgiveness is about you, for you. It may involve the actions or non-actions of other people, but it is always about you.
When you hold onto the pain, or the experience you are also tying yourself to them emotionally.
Forgiveness is about taking your power back, it’s about regaining your control of yourself from the inside out.
The system I use has 4 Steps, I’m sorry, I forgive you, I love you, and Thank You.
You always have the seat of power in this process.
Last time we spoke about how I use the I’m sorry part of the process.
Today I want to share the I forgive you step.
Each of these steps work in sequence.
In each of these steps we are speaking to ourselves as if we were someone sitting opposite us.
Imagine yourself sitting in the chair opposite you, you are in the seat of power.
No one or nothing is able to harm you.
Think about the situation you are working through.
Let’s take the example from last time, where you’ve not been eating healthily.
You’ve stated to your body, your mind, and your spirit that you are sorry.
Now you get to ask yourself, your body, your mind and your spirit for forgiveness.
You could say something like, “Forgive me for neglecting you, for eating the foods that I know are not nutritious and life giving.”
Forgive me body for putting you under stress emotionally by not feeling the emotions as they surface.”
Continue asking your body, your mind and your spirit for forgiveness for all the ways they have been mistreated, neglected and unnuturued with your eating.
Remember you are in the power seat, this is not a beat up on yourself session.
You are asking for forgiveness of your body, of your mind, and of your spirit.
The purpose is to give yourself grace, to let go of the pain, the hurt, the resentment that has been held against yourself, by yourself.
Now, you get to switch chairs, you get to see yourself sitting in the opposite chair. In the seat of the offended.
Begin by saying something to acknowledge you have heard the ask for forgiveness.
For example you may say something like, “I hear what you are saying, my body has struggled with being out of shape for a long time, I am choosing to forgive you for neglecting me.”
Continue with all the reasons you may have listed you want forgiveness for.
Notice if more items come up, if they do, switch seats mentally, and apologize, then ask for forgiveness, before switching back again.
This process can take a few minutes to run through.
When you are sitting in the offended ones seat, you are clearing the air with yourself.
This is not the time for arguing, for dismissing, or for gaslighting.
If you feel this way, then the process of apology is required.
When the air is clear, and you have asked for forgiveness for your part of the situation.
You as the offended party, gets to give forgiveness.
State I forgive you, “Linda” (Place your name in here). I release the hurt and pain that I have been holding against you.
Remember forgiveness is for you, it is not about anyone else. It is a choice you get to make to free yourself from the emotional hold of another, including yourself.
If your situation involves someone else, you are always in the seat of power.
You get to imagine them asking you for forgiveness for their actions or inactions that have caused you pain.
Remember this is about you, you get to tell them how you feel, how you felt. You get to let them know (they are sitting in your imagination in the seat opposite you) (if you have experienced deep trauma please do not attempt this without supervision, it may cause you more harm.)what you are feeling before you allow them to apologize, and ask your forgiveness.
Cuttng the emotional ties of historic relationships can be difficult, what I have found that by going through the process in my imagination, I get to feel the emotions that I have buried, and in doing so I get to release those emotions and the person holding me tied to them.
Taking delight inseeing the person who has been holding the reins of your emotions and power, shrivel and wither as you state “I FORGIVE YOU, I FREE MYSELF FROM THE EMOTIONAL HOLD YOU HAVE OVER MY LIFE”
And then in your imagination, you get up and walk out. Holding all your emotional power.
You may need to remind yourself that you have set yourself free from their control. Habits can take time to break.
Often we have lived habitually in a certain way, to keep the peace, to keep ourselves safe.
These emotions of habit are also open for self forgiveness. Set yourself free.
Forgive yourself, and continue to give yourself grace to stumble, pick yourself up, state “I’m sorry, I forgive you.”and carry on.
As a reminder, I am not a trained therapist, this is what I do when I want to heal a relationship or a wound from my history.
Please seek professional medical assistance if this has triggered you in any way.
It is my intention to empower you to release the emotional ties of your history, so you can live your life fully, today and in the future.
I find that after a time of forgiving, I can be emotionally spent, but always freer.
Give yourself the gift of self love, forgive yourself for all the ways you know you have not been loving yourself.
Until next time my friends.
State I forgive you, to yourself, then claim that forgiveness. Walk in your personal power, knowing you have been forgiven and now have a new place to begin.
have a fabulous day my friends.
If you want help to work through this process, contact me, together we can free you from the pain and hurts that are holding you emotionally captive.
Live your best life, forgive yourself, Know yourself and live your life authentically.
For coaching you can find me on Facebook, Instagram and on my website.
This is Linda Codlin, authentic living coaching.
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