What you say to yourself is so important.
It can make or break the way you respond to a situation.
Do you hide your true feelings from yourself?
What are you afraid of?
How you speak to yourself matters.
Love is everywhere you go,
Seeing love everywhere you go is an attitude,
Being love everywhere you go is who you are.
Hello, My Friends
This week saw hubby and I complete a few of those niggly jobs that never quite get onto the to do list.
Or they sit on the list and never get off it.
I have been practicing asking for what I want, and the results have astonished me. I have had a few set backs and knock backs.
Which brings me to this weeks topic.
What exactly is self-esteem?
In my mind it’s how I see myself, and how I value myself and my ideas.
For me, I wrapped my esteem into the worthy basket.
So every time I didn’t feel worthy my value or esteem of myself also took a hit.
Doing the challenge of asking for what I want has revealed so much about my self-talk.
I’m not talking about the loud voice that informs you, you are not worthy, or says things like, “What did you expect? You don’t deserve this.”
Do you recognise your mean voice? Does she speak to you often through the day?
I thought I had a handle on my mean voice, I call her Sally. Sally is my friend, she warns me of an unworthy attack.
Often Sally will create drama so she can be useful in ‘rescuing’ me. Letting me know that I shouldn’t do this thing, or ask for that thing because it might trigger feelings of rejection or feelings of fear, mainly the fear of succeeding. What if I actually proved to Sally and Myself that I was in deed worthy of having what I ask for.
Do you have this fear? That when life is good, you won’t be good enough to live it. So the easiest way around that is A) not to try. B) Create ways to have it fail.
Self-Esteem is how we think about ourselves. It is linked with the core belief we believe to be true about ourselves.
My latest affirmations have begun to include the reality of where I am, right here, right now.
Imperfections and all, I know most of us are taught that an affirmation has to be positive and in the present tense, and it does.
Our subconscious mind can not tell the difference between real and imagined.
To get to the subconscious mind, we have to go through the conscious mind, this mind is the gatekeeper.
The conscious mind has a BS meter, if you try telling yourself something that is so far from the truth, the BS meter is activated and your mind goes into overdrive to discredit the thought.
Making achieving what you want that much harder.
Part of my internal growth over the last couple of months has been to be brutally truthful with myself, to stop hiding the unlovely feelings and thoughts.
Unworthiness is like a many tenticled octopus, it invades all aspects of your life, and your thoughts without your awareness.
One of the fears I was hiding from was that by admitting my negative emotions I would give them the power to grow and over take my life.
What we focus on grows, right.
Burying negative feelings allows them to grow in the unseen places of our lives. They are already there, they are just being ignored, or denied. They sit unchallenged in the background, tainting all our other feelings.
By acknowledging these feelings, we get to see them.
We get to feel them.
We get to remind ourselves we are worthy of living a life of emotional freedom.
Back to the affirmations. My current affirmation sounds like…
Even though I feel rejected, I am safe, I love and accept myself as I am, right here, right now.
Even though I feel angry with myself for over eating, I love and accept myself, as I am, right here, right now.
Even though I am not where I want to be financially, I love and accept myself exactly where I am, right here, right now.
Even though unworthiness creeps into my thoughts often, I love and accept myself, exactly as I am.
What I have found is that these affirmations shut down Sally’s mean voice.
What can she say? “Yes, you are feeling rejected, hurt, and angry.”
The right now puts it in the current present tense, it elimates holding onto to the feeling, it exposes the feeling right now, and it somehow diffuses it.
Then stating that I love and accept myself, as I am, gives me the freedom to be better if I choose.
When you love and accept yourself as you are, with all the unworthiness, all the over-eating, and all the emotional drama, you can take your self-esteem to the next level if you want, and if you don’t you’re not lying to yourself.
Brutal honesty is painful. Looking at ourselves with all our imperfect humanness is painful, and yet so freeing.
This is a path of unchartered territory, what pains me may not even be on your register, and what pains you may not affect me.
Each of us has an individual path to walk, however we do not have to walk it alone.
You can not walk your path alone, you are connected to everything and everyone around you, energetically.
Reach out to someone you trust and share your hurt in a way that doesn’t hurt another, and generates growth and peace in both of you.
This is your challenge for today, To try out the affirmation, Even though I feel ….. I am safe, I love and accept myself, as I am, right here, right now.
If you can not honestly say you love yourself, you could drop that until you do, by stating that you accept yourself, you are acknowledging how you are feeling in this minute, which helps to diminish the power of that emotion.
EVEN THOUGH I FEEL UNWORTHY OF … I AM SAFE, I ACCEPT MYSELF, AS I AM, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.
Until next time, build your self-esteem and begin to accept and love your authentic self.
As a certified Life Coach, I help you to help yourself, so you can create a well lived life your way.
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