Do you feel like your emotions are ruling and ruining your life?
Do you feel like you have no control over how things work out for you?
The biggest change happened for me when I discovered I could manage my emotions, I gained freedom.
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Hello My Friends,
Welcome to Authentic Living Coaching.
Where I give you snippets of wisdom and truth, I have learned so far from living my life.
Life is not always about being up and happy, sometimes it’s about being sad and hurt.
What life is all about for me, at this stage on my path of spiritual and personal development, is emotional freedom.
The freedom to feel all my emotions.
The happy and the sad, the pleasant and the unpleasant.
What happened for me in my past, was I shut down all unpleasant and unhappy emotions, thinking if I didn’t admit they were there they’d go away.
They didn’t. They just grew bigger and darker.
I became more angry, more bitter, more nasty, more depressed and more unhappy.
Emotions are telling us something about ourselves.
All emotions, happy and unhappy, joy and sorrow, pain and pleasure are all telling us something about ourselves.
The thing I found was that by not allowing myself to own my unhappy feelings, I also denied myself the joy of feeling the happy emotions.
They are linked together. We can’t feel only the emotions we want by supressing those we don’t want. When we suppress any emotion we end up suppressing all emotions.
I found I couldn’t enjoy my life, because I was numb from the pain of ignoring all my negative emotions.
I always expected bad things to happen to me, and when they did I would get angry and bitter.
Our body’s are amazing. Our mind may shut down and shut out certain emotions to protect us, but our body actually feels these emotions.
The body feels these emotions as vibrations and sensations, which we can identify as tension, as a physical response.
This physical response is stored in our body, in our cells, in our muscles, and in our thoughts.
Our amazing body’s will hold everything together, until it can’t any longer and we become ill, or we have a break down, or break out.
Sometimes the break comes in the form of a situation or event that stops us in our tracks.
Have you ever been so ‘busy’ you didn’t have time to give your body the rest it needs.
Only to come down with a cold or the flu, or to have an accident that lands you on bed rest for a few days.
Enforced rest. Your body knows what it needs.
When I was going through the early days of our marriage separation, I hadn’t learned about feeling all my emotions, so in my usual style I was denying and bottling them.
Stress was a huge factor in my life at that time, but I couldn’t and wouldn’t let myself stop to feel the pain.
Three months after the separation, and two days after what would have been our twenty fifth wedding anniversary, I had an accident at work.
I crushed one of my fingers, breaking the bone.
This was my body telling me to stop. I didn’t have a choice, I couldn’t work, I couldn’t even take care of myself.
The two months of healing my finger also became part of the healing process of mending a broken heart.
Our body is amazing and knows what we need, even when we ignore all the signals.
Our body needs us to feel all our emotions, the happy and the unhappy.
Life is about emotional freedom.
Being able to acknowledge and feel any and all emotions. Our body is feeling them anyway.
Why do you think we over-eat, or over-drink, or take drugs, or work excessively, or spend money we haven’t earned yet on things we don’t really like or need?
To avoid, or numb our emotional responses, we figure if we avoid the sensation or emotion we won’t have to deal with it.
Emotional freedom begins with identifying the feeling or sensation in your body. This sensation can be tension in your neck and shoulders, it might be in the form of a headache , it might be cramping in your belly. Your body will have a particular way of feeling the emotions you have the most, and I’d guess you already know what that sensation is.
Name the sensation and where it sits in your body, become aware of it. You don’t have to do anything with it, just be aware of it.
Then give the emotion a name. Emotions are usually only one word, like sad, mad, distraught, anxious, fearful, dread and many many more.
When I first began labelling my emotions I had about different words in my emotional vocabulary, and as time as passed I have learned more about the emotions I feel on default, and my vocabulary has broadened, so don’t be concerned if you only have a few words in the beginning. Name them the best you can.
And finally, everything comes back to what you are thinking.
Find the thought behind the emotion. This takes training and practice, it is easy once you begin to look at what your brain is telling you about all sorts of situations, people, and mostly yourself.
I have found that the brain is very clever at trickery, it doesn’t like to give up its control.
When you make a decision to feel your feelings and emotions your brain may go into over-drive telling you all the things about you that would normall having you running back to the security of your default avoidance mechanism, because your brain is trying to keep you safe, and safe to your brain means staying the same, change is scary and potentially dangerous to your primitive brain.
This is a normal response.
Tell your brain, that it will be alright, that you hear it’s concerns and that everything will be okay.
I have found it useful to name this part of my brain. I call her Sally.
When Sally pipes up to tell me all the reasons why I can’t do something, I talk to her kindly, as I would talk to a distraught child, I soothe her, and comfort her.
I let her know nothing has gone wrong, that all is as it should be, and I let her know she is heard.
And then I carry on anyway.
Emotional Freedom is the ability to feel the sensations in my body, to be in the place of feeling every emotion, naming it and being at peace with it being there.
When all emotions are heard and seen, they stop acting out like naughty children wanting attention and become part of the normal.
When we feel our emotions and sensations in our body, we don’t need to act on them. Often the unthinking actions of releasing the emotion and feelings will get us into more trouble than we want.
By engaging our brain and thinking about what our next move could be, and how that move will serve us both now and in the future, can be life changing.
It’s in the choosing and thinking that you gain your power and control back.
What stops you from achieving your dreams?
Is it the fear of feeling a certain way? A certain emotion?
Everything you want is on the other side of the emotion you are afraid of feeling.
My snippet of wisdom and truth for today is… Identify the feeling in your body. Name the emotion. Discover the thought behind the emotion.
Everything you do is for the feeling you believe you will gain from the doing of that thing.
Have a fabulous week, my friends. Until next time, Your authentic self is waiting to be released, emotional freedom is waiting for you.
If you want help stepping into your emotional freedom connect with me for coaching. You can find me on Facebook and Instagram.
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Leave me a message on what emotional freedom feels like to you. Thank You for watching my channel.
Until next time see ya.
As a certified Life Coach, I help you to help yourself, so you can create a well lived life your way.
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