Sometimes we’re tested,
Not to show our weaknesses,
But to discover our strengths.
Hello, My Friends
This week has been interesting, as a recovering doer, setting the goal to complete the dining room wallpapering had me thinking about past successes, and the attitude and energy I did them in.
I have mentioned before that growing up, and becoming an adult I felt I wasn’t worthy, and I wasn’t aware that this feeling was running my life.
I began to evaluate was success means to me. I coach myself as I would coach a client, asking and answering leading questions. So come with me for a question and answer session with Linda.
What does success mean to me?
Is it always striving for the next thing? I am always wanting and aiming for more.
Does success define who I am?
Can I introduce myself without saying what I do?
Is my self-worth tied to my income?
Is my self-worth tied to what I can give to others?
What are the look at me, I’m good because … activities I have in my life?
What props up my self-esteem? What do I do to make me look like a good wife, mother, employee, employer, and leader. These are the things I do that make me feel and look good.
What would happen if I couldn’t do those things anymore?
As a recovering doer, the answer of these questions revealed a lot about my feeling of worthiness.
The doer mentality, is I am what I do. I have to do to be worthy. My self worth is attached to my income, my self worth is attached to how well I do the things I do, perfectionism is rife. Being worthy is linked to doing things and doing them so well that others couldn’t find any mistakes in them. My worth was wrapped up in the roles of my life, as a wife, mother, employee, these areas were where I found my value in myself. I did things for show, not for how they would give me personal satisfaction and joy. As a doer, I was no-body without the activities I was performing. The activities and my identity were embedded and entwined with each other.
As a recovering doer, I am more than what I do.
I am learning to run my doing past my perfect inner spiritual guide. If she has a feeling of peace that I’m not striving to prove myself to anyone, or that I am not replacing being, (which is an emotional and spiritual state) with an activity, then I feel in harmony to do the activity.
Some doings are vital for living. These doings also get run through the Love Linda filter. (This is the love yourself filter).
Why do I brush my teeth? Why do I clean the house? Why do I cook dinner? Why do I write everyday? Why do I exercise or work out? Do I do these to love Linda?
If not, why do I do it? What value is this to me? How can I make this a love Linda Activity.
I asked myself how do I feel about each of the activities above?
What is my attitude?
HOW WE DO ONE THING IS HOW WE DO EVERYTHING!
Emotional tension in performing any activity will have a negative effect on your body, on your mind, and on your spirit.
So, why do you write?
I enjoy writing, (Then ensure your spirit knows that, because acting like it is a hardship is not in alignment with your perfect spiritual inner guide.)
So, Why do you renovate?
I love the feeling of satisfaction of the completed job.
What about while you are doing the job?
Some tasks are more enjoyable than others.
What makes some things enjoyable and some things less enjoyable?
The process of how and activity is done determines the joyfulness of it.
REMEMBER: ‘IT IS NEVER ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF YOU, IT IS ALWAYS HOW YOU ARE THINKING.’
How you think about a job makes it enjoyable or not!
Any activity, job, or deed, is affected by the way you think about it, you can make it enjoyable or you can make it sorrowful.
Each of us has a perfect inner spiritual guide, this guide has the key. This key is your feeling state, your feeling state lets you know how close you are to your inner harmony.
When you are feeling frustration, sadness, blahness, or anger. Your perfect inner spiritual guide is letting you know you have or are moving away from your inner harmony.
This is a great time to stop and have a look at what you are thinking about what you are doing, look at what you are thinking about what is happening around you.
You get to turn the key with your thoughts, EVERY THOUGHT IS OPTIONAL.
Why choose to think in a way that harms your emotional equilibrium, why not think in a way that leads you closer to inner peace and harmony.
Your actions may not change, you may still have to cook dinner, but the energy you use to cook dinner may change.
Your thoughts adjust your attitude, which changes the vibration in your body, which your brain reads as feeling better, and your body releases feel better hormones, which gives you better energy. This is all happens in seconds.
This is so powerful, A thought, A feeling, An emotion.
These are what make the difference to a recovering doer.
So, success to me does not have a link to my worth. Success is the achievement of a worthwhile goal, and the goal does not make me better, or make me less than, it is not part of my self worth and self-esteem.
I enjoy setting goals and achieving them, from a place of self-love, aligning myself more from my perfect inner spiritual guide, being authentically me.
What about you? What does success mean to you? Is it tied to your self-esteem, your self worth.
Does your job or income give you the feeling of being successful? Or do you feel successful because of the way other people treat you, because of your job or income? Subtle difference. Would you still be you if you didn’t have your job, income, family, or whatever you hang your value onto?
Give yourself time to think about your answers, ask your authentic perfect inner spiritual guide to help you honestly answer these questions. Then listen to your body. It will tell you what you are really thinking, by the way it feels.
Until next time, become friends with your perfect inner spiritual guide.
As a certified Life Coach, I help you to help yourself, so you can create a well lived life your way.
If what I am sharing resonates with you, follow me, reach out, share with a friend, like or leave a message below,
When you are ready to make a transformational difference in your life, contact me for a one on one coaching session.