Leading: Remaining calm in emergencies.
Hello, My Friends
People who are calm and calmly take charge, giving those who don’t have a direction, a task to do are self lead leaders.
These people are the best in an emergency.
They have a cool head, and those around them feel the confidence and certainty that emanates from them.
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Learning to be calm in the sea of distress is a very useful attribute to have.
Often we find ourselves in other people’s seas of distress, and without realizing it we may have collected their scattered energy as our own.
If you find yourself in this situation, try taking a step back and looking at the situation with the eyes of an outsider looking in, someone who has nothing to gain and nothing to lose.
Ask yourself “What are the facts of this situation.” A fact is an irrefutable action that has happened, This action has a defined time, date and event.
For example you were at the playground with your son, you had told him not to run behind the swings because they move backwards and forwards and he is likely to get hit.
This day he forgot and ran behind the swing as it came backwards, knocking him onto the ground, he got up to be knocked down again.
You ran over feeling afraid of the damage you would find and to stop the swing, you pull your crying son out of the way of the swing as you grab the swing seat, the child in the swing is screaming loudly, letting everyone know she is not happy about being stopped.
From out of nowhere the girls mother comes flying at you, yelling loudly for you to “Get away from my daughter”.
Collecting your son, you move away from the swing, and checking him over rubbing his arms and legs. The girls mother comes over to you, she is angry and upset.
You are close to tears as you wipe the tears from your sons face, noticing the graze across his cheek, hugging him tight, comforting him.
Trying to explain to the girls mother, just makes things worse.
In this scene the facts are You were at the playground, there was a girl in the swing, the swing hit your son, you stopped the swing, the girl screamed, you moved your son, your son was crying, the girl’s mother arrived, your son has a graze on his face.
This is what any onlooker would have seen if they were nearby. These are the facts. Everything else is story.
Someone dealing with a crises, has the ability to remove the story or emotions from the facts and see what has happened and what needs to happen next. They don’t enter into blame, your justifying actions or reactions.
They deal with the situation as it is presented to them.
To be an effective leader sometimes it is necessary to get to the facts to work out what is really going on.
People need to have their feelings heard and validated, however there is a time and place for this, and an emergency where physical action is required to keep people safe is not the time.
Once everyone is safe and calmed down, then is the time to listen to the emotional stories, realizing they are coming from the perspective of those watching or involved.
This is why getting and giving cups of tea are important activities in a crises, it gives shocked people some thing to do, either in making or in drinking the tea.
A passive bystander will tell a different story to the mother of the son knocked over by the swing, who will tell a different story to the girl, or the son. Even the girl’s mother will have a different take on the story.
Leader’s have learned the skill of filtering and diffusing combative situations, by figuring out the facts, acknowledging all the various emotions, they are able to decipher what the next thing that needs to happen is.
These leaders stay calm, and take control, like a conductor they give people things to do.
Today’s inspirational droplet is Calm leaders, calm emotional people, and create order from chaos.
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