Dynamic Living: Commitment in relationships
Hello, My Friends
Commitment to work through relationship issues.
When we learn to stay in our own business and out everyone else’s we find that relationships with other people become easier.
This is because we commit to loving ourselves first, deciding how we want to live our lives and setting personal standards on how we want our life to look.
We stay out of the drama of other people’s lives.
By knowing that we are good enough the way we are, allows us not to react when people have different points of view than we hold.
They can have their opinion, and I can have mine and we are still both fine human beings.
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The secret to this commitment is to stay in your lane, to know what you have direct control over and what you do not.
There is little point fighting against things you can not change, you expend all your energy for no gain.
Your energy would be better used, finding ways to accept what is and creating the outcome you want from the energy of love and acceptance.
Realizing that you can not change any other human being, is liberating.
People get to change themselves or they don’t.
You get to decide what you will tolerate in your circle of influence, and what you won’t.
When you decide what doesn’t fit with your values, you begin to hold yourself accountable to your values by placing boundaries around yourself.
This may look like letting your friend who is always late to events, know that you will be leaving at the agreed time with or without her.
If she is at the designated place at the agreed time then you will go together and if she is not, then you leave on your own.
Her timing issues are hers not yours. You get to set the rules for yourself and your friend gets to set her actions for herself.
The first time you leave without her she may be very upset with you.
Remind her that time keeping is important to you, that you have set yourself a standard around your time management, and she gets to choose where she fits into that.
She may decide that this is a friendship breaker, then you get to decide what you make that mean, and what you are going to do to honour yourself.
Making a commitment to yourself, and your standards will impact those you have contact with.
The commitment to yourself is following through on what you want to see happen when your standards have been broken, with love and strength for you and for them.
This will eventually bring you so much joy and peace, because you will regain the power you have given to other people.
You will be, being authentically true to you, your values and your dreams.
Remember everything we do, we do for the feeling we believe we will gain.
Look for the feeling payoff in allowing others to manipulate, or control how you live your life.
Look at the things you complain the most about, these will give you clues as to where you are outsourcing your power.
And a place to begin to set standards for yourself, deciding on how you want the situation to feel, and working backwards to create that feeling, by the boundaries you set around yourself, for yourself.
This form of commitment is to you, it is how you show you respect yourself, and those closest to you.
It will also show how those closest to you respect you as well.
Today’s Pearl of Wisdom is Freedom ends when it begins to deprive another of his freedom. -Anonymous.
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