Hello, My Friends
This is the final step in resolving the divide between your disappointing emotions and peace.
Disappointment has shown you where a boundary was crossed.
Disappointment was like a neon light pointing out something you care about.
Today our acronym is RESOLVE
So appropriate that we should conclude with resolving and settling your disappointment.
RESOUNDLY. Make a decision, set your mind, no wavering. You get to choose what you want.
It is up to you to make the decision to look at the story hiding behind the disappointment.
Resoundly in my mind is deciding that I am going to look at what boundary has been trodden on, and why it is important to me.
To ask better questions about what I want, and whether my boundaries need to be extended.
EVALUATE. The better questions lead into evaluating. Ask what do I want to see happen?
What set point was triggered to cause me to feel this emotion?
Do I like the way I responded to this feeling?
What would I like to change?
What would I like to do differently?
Is this feeling showing me an area that needs improvement? How can I improve the system?
How can I prevent this from reoccuring? What needs to happen to keep things running smoothly?
Weigh up what your emotions are telling you, adjust and change what you can, to improve.
Shore up your boundaries so you have a wider field of safety.
SETTLEMENT. Figure out what you want to see happen, and how you can create this outcome.
Gather your confidence cloak and take whatever action is required.
Stand your ground if you believe what needs to happen next is the best for the situation.
A settlement often means to compromise.
When you face your emotions, acknowledge them and learn the lesson they have within them, you will find that compromising isn’t losing ground, it is connecting with the other person and still honouring you and your needs.
Settlement is not about throwing your hands in the air and acting the role of a victim or a martyr.
It is working through the tough things to come to an agreement, or to agree to disagree if that is the only likely outcome.
Know what you want to happen and what needs to happen next, also be willing to put new and strong boundaries in place to ensure this disappointment will not greet you again.
LEARNED. You have investigated what your emotions have to teach you, You have taken on board and are making the necessary changes to ensure this particular flavour of emotional disappointment won’t show up in the same way.
Learning is making adjustment to the systems, and behaviours that created the emotional disappointment in the first place.
You are responsible for your thoughts and your actions only.
You can not control others, they get to think and act how they want.
What you do get to decide is how their actions impact you.
Part of learning is putting in standards that enable you to behave and think the way you want without controlling others.
Learning is about having consequences to actions.
If you do this, then this will happen.
It’s not about them, It’s about you. Keeping you safe from the same emotional disappointment time after time.
VALUABLE. You are your highest valuable asset.
When you value something you take care of it.
Put your confidence cloak on and take the actions that show you and others you value yourself.
If you don’t have yourself, who do you have.
Disappointments thrive on our inability to know who we are, what we stand for, and how we want others to treat us.
By respecting yourself with strong boundaries you are placing a high value on your most important asset.
Confidence feeds from your value system.
The more you value you the more confidence grows.
EXPECTATIONS. This is where you know who you are, what you want from yourself and from others.
Expectations are the standards that you set for yourself, with kindness, love and respect.
Expectations set the guide for others to follow.
With your emotional disappointment firmly worked through, you get to put your confidence cloak on and let others know what you expect fromyourself and from them, and what you expect to see happen next
There is no room for guessing, or second guessing.
When you lay out your expectations everyone including yourself knows what the limits are, and what behaviours are acceptable and what are not.
When expectations are set there is usually some form of accountability included, otherwise the expectation is just another idea without legs or consequences.
These actions may look like moving your business to another space, using a different courier to collect your goods if they continue to handle them roughly, or they may not be included in the meal out if they won’t behave in a suitable pre planned manner.
Resolving your emotional disappointments is a process.
This process can be quick and easy, it can also take time and effort.
The vastness of the emotioons and the length of time they have been in your life, and what you are prepared to do with them will determine your outcome.
It is my intention for you that you will do the work to gain the confidence to set strong boundaries for yourself.
That as you gain confidence your confidence will grow, which will result in your emotional disappointments diminishing.
RESOLVE to love yourself more, and face the disappointments that surface.
Figure out the best way forward that honours you and the situation.
Today’s Seed of Greatness is Set high standards for yourself and live into them.
As a life coach it is my intention to help you to live your best life, every day.
Leave a comment, like and follow me if what I am sharing resonates with you.
If you want to gain mastery over feeling anxious and uncertain and replace these emotions with empowering confidence contact me for coaching.
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