Hello, My Friends
What does minimization look like to you?
This is one powerful way that we silence people, we make them feel like what they have achieved is less important than it really is.
For instance, a parent may use minimizing to soothe fears, by saying that there is nothing to be afraid of, when a child has had a nightmare.
Or if you have had an accident, and someone says “you are so lucky, that could have been so much worse.”
Neither of these scenes are addressing the emotion of moment.
Minimizing would be the most prevalent way we silence other people.
We do it and have it done to us all the time. By and to ourselves, and by others.
Minimization is playing down the event, the success or achievement of another.
It strips people of the feeling that they have done a great job, by using comparison to someone’s great job, or by comparing what was done, with what was not done.
Have you ever received a certificate for some thing you cared a lot about, that you worked really hard to achieve, you were so proud of yourself and couldn’t wait to show a loved one?
You come bursting through the door, waving the certificate, you are so excited, you start talking, telling your loved one how pleased you are, about the ceremony you had when you received the certificate.
To have them brush you aside, they may wave their hand, indicating they are watching something on the telly.
Or they may say, “Well, how good for you.” or they may not say anything, ignoring your ethusiasm altogether, or maybe they say something like, “It’s about time, you’ve been working on that for a long time.”
Or they may say, “Your sister got hers last week, you are always so slow to finish your projects.”
All of these examples are minimizations, they don’t acknowledge, what you are talking about, they don’t build you up and compound that wonderful feeling of achievement you first felt.
If minimization is used all the time, it silences the enthusiasm of success, it removes the desire to achieve and it keeps people feeling small and not good enough.
Minimization is one weapon we use on ourselves, and it comes in the guise of comparison.
It keeps our mouths closed when we really want to speak up.
Respecting and valuing the achievements of ourselves and others is the quickest way to unravel feelings of being less than.
When we give genuine appreciation, we are building emotional strength, we are empowering people to speak and contribute.
Today’s question is… Minimization, Do you use it to get your own way?
Until tomorrow, be aware that everyone uses minimizing words and actions, we also, all have the need to feel accepted and valued, choose one behaviour for today, it might be opening the door for another person, or smiling at the lady in reception, who is having a difficult time. Offering genuine thanks or praise to someone who has helped you. Give the gift of empowerment today and feel the difference in your being.
As a certified Life Coach, I help you to help yourself, so you can create a well lived life your way.
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