Respect: lose one-up-man-ship
Hello, My Friends
How do you manage those who have a differing view from you?
When you are in a discussion that becomes emotionally threatening or when someone has accidently moved into your sacred garden of private beliefs and are stomping about squashing your pet ideals, what ploys do you use to get them off topic and out of your garden as quickly as possible.
Do you use one-upmanship?
For every thing they say, you tell about a time when you did it better, longer, smarter than they did.
You let them know that they are not as smart as they think they are. (Subtly of course, with a smile and sweet tone of voice)
Your conversation becomes a competition and they are not going to win at your expense.
When you catch yourself in this form of conversation, how do you feel? Do you feel superior? Do you feel proud of your accomplishments?
What is really going on? What are you feeling threatened about?
Your intention may be to build rapport, or a sense of “I’m the same as you, I know exactly what you’re going through” however, that may not be how it feels to the other person.
Often it feels like the attitude of “anything you can do, I can do better.”
Which moves a conversation into combat, when in combative mode, respect is usually ditched as collateral damage.
Today’s question is… Do you use one-upmanship to silence people?
Until tomorrow, listen to your conversations, do you have to prove that you are the best, have the best, did the best all the time.
What is lacking within yourself that you feel you have to prove yourself, or brag about your achievements in order to keep other people in “their place”.
Remember, we do not beat ourselves up, No judgement, awareness is the beginning of all change.
Be aware, see how you shut down uncomfortable conversations.
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