Grace: Extending Goodwill, Space and Time.

Grace means

That all of your mistakes

Now serve a purpose

Instead of serving shame.

Brene Brown

Picture: Aron Visuals @unsplash.com

Hello, My Friends.

This week flew by so quickly I missed my writing day, so here I am showing up a day late. Authentic Living with Linda is based around wisdom and truth wrapped in everyday events.

This weekend I went on a train trip on a seldom used track, through the middle of the North Island, I went with three girl friends, we got to see a side of the country that is not in our usual view. I am amazed at how often we were disorientated because the land marks we were used to seeing were not visible. We travelled through New Zealand’s second longest tunnel, researched the facts on how it was constructed. So interesting.

I was reminded after we’d wined, whined, and wound our way to Wellington and back, that what we focus on grows. I was mulling over our trip and the things that we thought spoiled it. Like the gentleman sitting in the seat behind us that had such a huge booming laugh, that appeared to be quite forced. From the moment he entered the car, until he exited it hours later we were to endure his raucous behaviour. The more he drank the louder he became, until that became the focus of our trip. We whined and moaned to ourselves and then to the cabin crew.

What we didn’t do was take responsibility for ourselves. We could have asked to be moved to a different seat, and even near the end of our journey when that was offered we still didn’t move. We could have actually talked to the gentleman to explain how he was coming across to us. We could have made our own fun, or joined into his fun and encouraged the entire car to make it like a mini street party.

Wisdom and truth wrapped in every day events, it is always easier to moan and groan than it is to take constructive action. I would say this gentleman has no idea how his behaviour affected those sitting near him. That he is the memory a lot of people will have taken away from a delightful event.

As a coach I teach that what we focus on grows. Did I practice my own teaching on this train ride? ‘Um, well, Not in a constructive sense, however it still proved to be true.’ Did I even think about changing my focus as an option? ‘Honestly, No.’ Does this make me a bad coach? Some might say so, I say it makes me as human as the next person. It shows me where I have room to improve and grow my thinking and actions.

This is where GRACE comes to play.

The word grace has several definitions.

At the beginning of the year I chose what I call a yearly goal. My yearly goal is to “Create beauty, style and grace in my mindset, my relationships, my environment and my business. “

This weekend has brought grace into the forefront of my mind.

The definition of GRACE I am using for this year is smoothness and elegance of movement, courteous good will to myself and to others, and an extended period of time granted as a special favour.

The grace I am needing to call into play is the grace that extends good will to myself and to others. I could beat myself up and say horrible nasty things about myself and the way I didn’t behave, or should have behaved, etc.

Those thoughts would be adding fuel to the fire of self loathing, and that is not a direction I want to live in.

I am extending myself the grace of extended time to work through the underlying thoughts and feelings that I allowed to rule the train trip and why.

Grace is a space that allows for growth, it is the pause between what you did do, and what you could have done, without judgement or guilt. It is the space of reflection, and intrigue.

Without grace, would you ever know that there was a better way? Would you ever give yourself the time to discover and own your behaviour? and Would you ever become aware that you can change it?

Grace allows the kindness that you would extend to others to be extended to yourself. It gives you room to let the fact that you are worthy, you are enough, and you are able, to sink in to your being, which gives you the courage to reach for your greater wisdom and truth in your every day.

Grace also allows for the mighty 5 second pause before you act, to make a choice that will serve you, instead of running on default, it puts you in charge of your life and your decisions.

To prevent the back ward slide into self despair, self disgust, and mental self beat ups, give yourself the grace to be perfectly, imperfect. Treat yourself as you would a small child who has just grazed a knee, or broken the crystal vase by accident. Be kind, Be loving, Be self soothing, Be generous and Be true to your more noble self.

The challenge I am putting out for us to pick up, is to be gracious to ourselves, when we perceive that we didn’t do quite as well as we could have, to allow ourselves the grace to extend the time frame for development, to give ourselves the grace of courteous good will and self love. To treat ourselves with respect.

Be true to your inner wisdom, live from your inner truth, and uncover your authentic self. You have everything you need to fill the void in your life.

Until Next Time.

Linda Codlin

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