“Before you can coach others first you must learn to coach yourself. ” Johan Cruyff
Hello, My Friends,
What a full on week this has been! Emotional triggers and land mines all set ready to explode. Facing fears and doing the uncomfortable things. A week like this reveals how far I have grown and also pinpoints areas that continue to need tweaking.
Coaching and self coaching is one of the most valuable tools I have in my arsenal to deal with the situations of life.
Have I conquered all my fears? No, it’s a bit like the onion analogy, once you have peeled off the outer layer, there is another juicier layer underneath. However, if you cut the onion in half you can get to the core and save yourself a lot of hassles. Do we do this? Even when we know what the core issue is, do we walk boldly into the middle of the mess and work on the main issue?
If you are like me, you may bravely venture in, feeling very noble that you are doing the right thing, only to have the issue slap you around a bit, leaving you feeling more wounded and hurting from the fresh bout. Retreating to a ‘safe’ distance. Avoidance, I think is what it is called. You close the onion up and pretend it never happened. Only now you know more than you did before. A mind expanded can not go back to the place it was before expansion occurred.
Now you have the nagging-ness of past and more recent events to contend with.
Healing the wounds of the past is a bit like open heart surgery, the wound has to heal from the inside out.
When my eldest son was nine, he had osteomyelitis on his sternum, he was one very ill wee lad. With antibiotics and surgery his body mended. His healing process look weeks of hospitalization, the wound on his chest had to heal from the bone out. Layer upon layer his tissues had to restore themselves. As an adult he now has the scar on his chest as a reminder of how grateful we are for modern medicine and the surgical teams that preserved his life.
I mention his ordeal as an example of how some of the emotional wounds we have from our pasts, may need to be cut to the core and healed one layer at a time from the inside out. The process will be painful, as we learn new ways of seeing ourselves, as we learn new ways of dealing with stressors and triggers. As my son went through the process of healing he had to have many injections and lines put in his veins. He was petrified of the needles and we had to distract him and at times hold him down. Was it pleasant? Definitely not. Was it necessary? Definitely.
Some of our past emotional wounds need professional people to help with the healing process.
The goal with my son was to keep him alive and to restore his health and vibrancy. We had to make hard choices and decisions, we had to face some painful times, some horrible meltdowns, of both child and adults. In the end the result was what we desired it to be. A strong and healthy child, who has grown into adulthood.
I look at weeks like this one with emotional triggers and land mines as part of the healing process, as I learn to navigate my way through and round the mines, learning which to avoid and which to heal, I become stronger.
It is my intention for you, that as life seems to send you curve balls, and the hurts of the past bubble to the surface of your life, and your emotional triggers seem to sabotage everything you touch, that you will seek help and begin the process of healing those hurts. You can have health, well-being and vibrancy. You are able to heal the emotional wounds that seem to constantly trip you up. Maybe your healing will look and feel a bit like open heart surgery. I can assure you the benefits of knowing how to coach yourself through any situation gives more freedom than burying the pain and pretending it’s not there ever can.
As a life coach I can share with you the tools I am using to navigate the land mines of emotional triggers, these tools are guiding me through life’s situations with love, wisdom and self respect.
I wish I could tell you that once you have these tools, you will never have triggers, or mines, or hurts, or any negative emotional reactions, this is not the truth, you are a human, having a human experience which involves emotions, feelings, physical bodies, and pain. What it does give you is the ability to manage your thoughts, and the ability to make better choices on what to respond to and how to respond in a way that benefits you and those around you.
If you are ready to investigate the emotional triggers of days gone by, connect with me by email at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com or find me on Facebook @authenticlivingwithlinda or @lindacodlin25 and message me for a one on one coaching consultation.
Until Next Time
Be kind to yourself, give yourself the space to see the triggering event before you activate your response. When you look for your authentic self, you will find it.
Hope, Hugs and Love.
Linda Codlin