Do you have the default setting of saying ‘I don’t know’ even before you think about the question asked?
Do you hide behind ‘I don’t know’ as a means to keep the peace?
‘I don’t know’ is a trained response and as such can be retrained.
Living in indecision,
Living in the ‘I don’t Know!’ of life
Is tiring, it drains your energy,
It leaves you feeling hopeless,
It creates the feeling of helplessness.
Living in the decision of ‘This is what I want!’
Gives you power.
Hello My Friends,
This week has seen the celebration of 50 Parkrun’s.
Last year I set myself the challenge of doing 60 activities before my 60th birthday, one activity a day.
One of those activities was to jog up the hill behind our house. I couldn’t even walk an eighth of the way without puffing, so I committed myself to going to the Parkrun every Saturday Morning at 8 am for a 5km walk/run.
I do have to admit that I am still unable to jog 5kms without stopping, and my next birthday is looming up, so it is time to up my game and make this goal a reality before I turn 61.
We have had a busy, sort your life out week. We emptied the attic of all the things hiding up there. Some of the things we found weren’t even ours.
This week was about making decisions, what to keep and what to let go.
Why are seemingly simple decisions so difficult?
For me it’s a matter of scarcity, I may need it again, or I may actually be able to reuse it.
My abundant self, gets to trust that I will have enough to do what needs doing, have enough to create more of what I really want.
If I really wanted the things in the attic they wouldn’t be there, they would be where I would use them.
Most items were pending a decision, or were there for storage because they were too large to fit in my storage systems.
This made me appreciate the why question.
Why am I keeping this?
What would happen if I let it go?
What would happen if I kept it?
Do I like it?
Is it useful?
Is it beautiful?
Will I actually use it?
Am I afraid that, if I let it go I won’t be able to afford another one should I require it?
Is this a valuable heritage piece? Why is it stored in an attic?
These are all valuable questions to ask, and answer.
I found I could whittle most things down to three categories.
Pass it on
And then there’s the unknown pile, of “I don’t Know” which sits around waiting for a decision to be made.
One of my coaching tools is to deal with the I don’t knows.
I don’t know is really smokes and mirrors to slow down the process of making a decision.
Maybe you are afraid to make the decision you know you want to make, so ‘I don’t Know’ is so much easier than dealing with the emotion, the fall out of stating what you want, the fear of being rejected, humiliated, or embarrassed if what you want is not what everyone else thinks you ought to want.
I don’t know’ is a cop-out. It is a way of outsourcing your emotional response.
So is telling someone else to make a decision and stating that you will go along with whatever they choose.
The question I have for you is, “If you did know what you wanted, what would it be?”
I’d encourage you to be completely honest with yourself. Your authentic self will give you her answer.
Then be courageous, and admit it to yourself, sit with your true want, let it grow in your mind.
And when you are ready, begin to step into your truth.
Remember other people are like the crabs in the fishing net, they don’t want any of their mates to leave.
So they pull any crab who climbs the net toward freedom back down to their level.
Our friends and family can be like these crabs, it’s not that your family or friends don’t love you, it’s that they are on a different journey, or at a different stage in their journey, to you.
Learning to make decisions is an invaluable tool, we make decisions a 100 times a day and don’t even think about it.
So when you get hit by the thought, ‘I don’t know’ stop and ask yourself, ‘what if I did know, what would my answer be?’
Awareness is the beginning of growth.
Your challenge for this week is to face an ‘I don’t know’ answer head on with the question, ‘what if I did know, what would I answer’
Then allow the feelings and emotions that come up, to just be. Be the detective, Be interested in your response, but not emotionally connected to it.
The emotion will pass, then you can choose what to do next.
Until next time, find your authentic voice and begin to set her free, by making decisions that honour you.
As a certified Life Coach, I help you to help yourself, so you can create a well lived life your way.
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When you are ready to make a transformational difference in your life, contact me for a one on one coaching session.
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