A martyr is a way of thinking and believing, and as such can be changed.
Learning how you behave and think is the first step to change.
Please do not beat yourself up it you see traits of the martyr in your life.
You have the power to create a new life.
Hello My Friends.
Martyrs behave in certain ways, and have certain points of view.
Today we look at a list of traits and beliefs a martyr may have.
1) A martyr has a person who is also a martyr as a role model or mentor.
As an example they may admire a grandparent who refrained from following their passions and desires for the service, of family, church or country.
2) A martyr was born into a family/culture or country that has extremely strict gender roles, religious or social creeds, or restrictive expectations.
3) A martyr shows signs of having a low self-worth. They have an inability to receive love or affection, they also have a negative body image, are excessively judgmental and moody.
4) A martyr was emotionally, psychologically or physically abused as a child, normalizing the behaviour. (e.g, by a parent, sibling, family member or someone in authority over them.)
5) A martyr will have stayed in abusive relationships, or friendships, even when those relationships are detrimental to their physical well being.
6) A martyr doesn’t acknowledge that they have a responsibility to play for the decisions and choices that has them feeling pain or suffering.
7) A martyr will portray themselves as righteous, as self-sacrificing. The see themselves as the “nice guy/girl,” They hold the belief that they are a saint, a caretaker and the hero in this situation.
8) A martyr blames other people’s selfish behaviour and their inhumanity that is causing their oppression and repression.
9) A martyr will seek reassurance from others to prove their innocence or their greatness.
10) A martyr will exaggerate the amount of suffering and hardship they are enduring, they inform anyone who will listen how they are being grossly mistreated.
11) A martyr has a very cynical, and suspicious view of other people, they become paranoid about the intentions of those around them.
12) A martyr needs to be right, and will argue the fact even when it is obvious they are incorrect.
13) A martyr struggles to set personal boundaries, the word “no” is extremely difficult for a martyr to use. (Leaving them open to manipulation.)
14) A martyr presumes other people know what they are thinking and become hurt if the expectations are not fulfilled.
15) A martyr will emotionally manipulate or coerce others to do what they want by acting as a noble sufferer, inflicting guilt and shame on the other person.
16) A martyr will not make any attempt to solve their problems or try to actively fix their problems.
17) A martyr finally gets someone else to solve their problems, they will always find more ‘problems” and complain about them loudly, showing how badly they are being treated.
18) A martyr actively seeks out appreciation, recognition, and attention for the activities they have done, by generating drama. (Drama Queening)
19) A martyr expects that other people must agree with them, obey them, or appease them because they sacrifice so much for everyone else.
20) A martyr believes that if they have no value, then they are worthless.
If you see some trails of yourself in this list, please do not beat yourself up.
This list is for information and enlightenment.
Often we are not aware of how we behave until a light is shone on our behaviours or our thoughts.
Take note of any of these points that jump out at you, then without judgment, watch how these play out in your life.
This may be too confronting, and triggering. Remember: Awareness is the beginning of change.
Today’s challenge is to find one thing you are grateful for and feel that emotion.
If you are wanting ways to lessen the traits of martyrdom within your life.
Connect with me, for one on one coaching through my email.
As a certified Life Coach, I help you to help yourself, so you can create a well lived life your way.
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When you are ready to make a transformational difference in your life, contact me for a one on one coaching session.
For more on identifying a martyr visit Lonerwolf.com/martyr-complex-symptoms