Stop playing small.

Hello, My Friends

This month we are chatting about Challenging Norms.

The little snippets of conversations we were taught and believed as children that don’t necessarily serve us as adults.

I’ve been thinking about how, through the education system, we are often taught to take up as little space as possible. Not intentionally of course.

This may look like, the teacher asking a question from the front and expecting a student to raise their hand to answer. All through my education, I was, what some would say was a shy student. Part of the benefit of this shyness was that I was invisible, if you didn’t make a scene, or you did what you were told you were often overlooked when it came to speaking in front of the other students.

Part of the benefit of shyness was that the bully’s would leave you alone, or not. The bully’s had a way of seeking out the quiet, shy and scholarly kids. Apparently to them I was one of these.

All this attention made me retreat from my life. I never raised my hand, if I could avoid it I never spoke in front of anyone else, for fear of being laughed at, embarrassed if I got it wrong, and being bullied on the way home from school.

When your first six or seven years in the education system was actively choosing not to be seen, it becomes a habit.

This habit was helpful at home as well, it got me out of chores, it also got me out of the firing line of cross and tired adults.

In what ways did you make yourself invisible as a child?

Did you tone down what you were good at? If you were a runner did you always come in second, so you wouldn’t be in the limelight? Were you a dancer, going to your lessons each week, practicing at home, you loved dancing, and when the competitions came around somehow, you always messed up your routine?

The emotion of being seen and taking space, can be so frightening that we choose to live very small lives.

What is your normal, go to action, when life doesn’t go as first planned?

Let’s say you are at a restaurant and your food is not up to standard, do you send it back and ask for better, or do you put up with it, and eat it. Why? Is it because you don’t want to make a fuss? Is it because you feel like you are being an inconvenience? Is it because you don’t want to deal with a confrontation? Maybe it’s because you believe you are not worth having what you want.

What about when your partner asks you what type of car you’d like to purchase next? Do you know what type of car you want? Is it important to you- Why or why not? What is your thought process as you discuss this topic? Do you feel like you opinion won’t be valued so there’s no point in sharing? Do you feel like you are putting yourself out into the open by sharing what you really want? Maybe you are trying to figure out what your partner wants and trying to fit in with their ideas? (What are you afraid will happen if you stated what you really want?)

Living a small life, where you are afraid to take up space in your life, affects every area of your life.

It is a road block to you being, and living your authentic life.

Everyone of us, has some area that we run from, when we begin to embrace our emotional being-ness, we begin to embrace the space that is ours.

The amazing thing about stepping into your own space is it feels so natural, it feels like home.

You get to find your voice, you get to have a say on what you want, how you want it, and you get to be an active part of your life.

Imagine being the person who is willing to step into the dream that has been dormant in your life, all your life. This dream is the nagging feeling that you have more to do in your life, and I can guarantee you know exactly what it is, if you were brave enough to admit it to yourself.

The education system we grew up in has given us skills which we believed we needed to survive, and in most cases it did, we wouldn’t be where we are now, if it didn’t give us skills.

The Challenge I have for you is to investigate if the skills and beliefs you acquired during your formative schooling years are serving you now.

Challenge your normal thinking about your school days, reprogram your mind to empower you to fulfill your dreams.

Step into the limelight of your own life. Be the star of your show. You only have this one life to be you. Begin, continue and flourish being your authentic self.

There is no-one in this entire world like you. (Be kind) You are the person that the world needs right now, to be shining your golden emotional light. Take space in your life, make decisions that please you, learn about yourself, question your norms.

xoxox Linda

As a certified Life Coach, I help you to help yourself, so you can create a well lived life your way. 

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