Losing weight is more than food eaten, It is more than exercise movement, It is more than bathroom scales, It is weighing the feelings of who you think you are with the feelings of who you know you really are, and choosing to unfold all the feelings of who you really are.
Hello, My Friends
Isn’t it always the way, that when we begin on a path to do something that we really want our brain finds multiple ways to over-ride or side step the issue at hand.
I set myself a goal that over 100 days I would reduce my body size by 10kg’s removing those last few kilos that would see me at my optimal size and shape.
Over the last 55 days, I have learned a lot about myself. What this process has shown me, is my weight and my eating, and my exercise programmes are not actually the problem.
The weight on the scale, the way clothes fit, the numbers on the tape measure are all indications of how I did in the past. They are not an indication of what I am doing in the present.
So every time I step onto the scale that number is telling me how I’ve done since the last time I stepped on the scale. The story we tell ourselves about the number on the scale is mind drama, and this mind drama can derail our ability to make choices that lead us to our desired goal or they can lead us to behave in ways we are accustomed to behaving that don’t produce the results we are wanting.
Over the last 55 days, I’ve faced the feeling of wanting to quit, to just forget about my goal. I’ve faced frustration, fear that I can’t actually do it, I’ve felt the feelings of being down around my results, I’ve had anxiety about sharing where I am and where I thought others thought I should be, I felt insecure in my ability to change. All the emotions that human’s feel when they are creating something new.
I set up a Facebook page, with a couple of close friends, where I was determined to post everyday how I was going, what my struggles were and what my successes were. This is my accountability, this gives me the mental prod to keep myself true to myself. It also allows myself to see what is really going on with my thinking over a period of days.
This has been a very telling experience for me. In my past I have been able to white knuckle myself into any goal I really want. This time I wanted to respect my body, to love myself and to make permanent changes.
Can you identify with this struggle? You want to change, but the way you have done it in the past doesn’t work.
The weight loss journey is personal, each one of us has an individual body, and these fabulous body’s are made to measure, yes we all have hearts and lungs, cells and blood. But each of these are unique to our body. I’ve found and are now in the process of following what my body likes and what it doesn’t like. This is a trial and error type of process.
I’ve used the bathroom scales as a guide to what is going on inside my body, then I found that I would mentally beat myself up about the number, this wasn’t helping me at all.
Mind training is the most valuable tool I have found in taking off the 5 kg’s so far.
Sitting with the urges to pick up a piece of fruit as I walk past the fruit bowl, just because it is there.
Figuring out what the night time snacking is all about.
Understanding how stress and food are related to what I eat and when.
These all stem from the mind. Thoughts. And the amazing thing is thoughts can be changed without using will power or white knuckling strength.
I have found what has helped me so far, is to acknowledge what I’m feeling. Remember everything we do we do for the feeling we believe we will gain from it. This is as true for eating as it is for anything else.
Asking the question,
Why do I need to eat right now?
Can give a clue to the physical sensations in your body.
Asking the question,
What is the feeling I want this food to give me?
What is the feeling I am trying to block with this food?
And Does this food actually help me to gain this feeling?
Gives powerful information that you can use to decide if you want to carry on choosing the food you are about to eat or not.
The answers to these questions, when answered honestly will tell you whether you are eating out of anger, disappointment, boredom, habit, to show someone you are the boss of your body, to be in control, to please someone else, or any number of other reasons we eat when we are not physically in need of sustenance.
By using these responses we can figure out what we would rather be feeling, for example I found I have a habit of snacking at night while watching television with hubby. I don’t need the food, what I really need is the comfort of my husbands time and attention. As I am becoming more aware of the feeling I want, I can voice this in a way that hubby can hear and respond to without my needing to eat to fill that need. Or I can find another way to fill my need to feel comforted. The feeling I’m wanting is comfort, so why not give myself that feeling and bypass the food, and watch the scales prove that I have found a better way to satisfy my emotional needs.
Also one of the biggest takeaways I have found to be true is that what you resist persists.
The harder I fought against what I was struggling with the harder I struggled with it.
I have always enjoyed exercising, so I figured this part of my self planned programme would be easy. I was wrong, what I found was that I had linked exercising to weight loss, and in the process created a massive emotional roller coaster ride. Over the last few years I have been working on my attitude around the compulsion to exercise to control my weight. The exercise wasn’t helping me to sort out the emotional drama around food I was having, it was a mask, a way I could hide and not face what was really happening.
So when I set out my rules and standards for this 100 days, I thought exercising daily would be easy. What I found was I had so much resistance to exercising, that it became my entire focus, I was missing the whole purpose of this challenge. I had to do the coaching work to find the thoughts creating the resistance, then allowing that resistance to be there.
We can’t change anything by forcing it to change, we have to coax it out of it’s seat with something better.
By my figuring out what my mental blocks around exercise and food were, figuring out what the feeling was that was driving the resistance I was feeling, and then creating a game plan to satisfy the true feeling I wanted in a way that was fun and enjoyable. I added a new affirmation to make upgrading my thinking around exercise and food easier, then to I began to respect my body and myself enough to do what I had planned.
The secret sauce is to find the feeling you want in any activity you are doing, then create a way to feel that feeling purposefully. Your thoughts are the key to opening the recipe book, the way you think guides everything you do. Your thoughts guide your feelings, this is where affirmations are so important to giving your brain a new way of thinking, which gives your body a new way of feeling, which creates new actions and results.
I am still on the discovery journey of how my life is feeling now that I am becoming slender and fit, without resisting what is, and creating the feelings of enjoying the freedom of movement, enjoying the feeling of well fitting clothes, enjoying the feeling of delight around food, of feeling graceful and vibrant.
I encourage you to find the feeling you most want to feel in your everyday, and work out ways to add it to your day to day life. Plan ways to make that feeling a part of your routine. Happiness is not an event it is an attitude, you can cultivate an attitude of joy that comes from deep within you. Find the feeling of happiness and joy, then replicate it, think the thoughts that create those feelings, do the activities that bring you happiness and joy.
Until next time, live your life authentically, your way.
As a certified Life Coach, I help you to help yourself, so you can create a well lived life your way.
If what I am sharing resonates with you, follow me, reach out, share with a friend, like or leave a message below,
When you are ready to make a transformational difference in your life, contact me for a one on one coaching session.