There is no greater FREEDOM,
than the FREEDOM to be yourself.
Give yourself that gift,
and choose to surround yourself,
with those who appreciate you,
exactly as you are.
Hello, My Friends
Over the last 60 odd days, I have been doing one challenge every day. The purpose of this challenge was to extend me. To pull me out of perfectionism, every challenge has the element of failure attached to it, and more than a few did. Also some of the challenges ended up having the ability to be embarrassing.
What I have learned over these sixty days. Nothing is so bad that I can’t deal with it. Embarrassment is an emotion, and as such only has power over me when I give it power. Perfectionism for me is a code word for fear of failing and being laughed at. Every time I procrastinate over doing what needs to be done, it is due largely to the fear I associate to the outcome of the action.
As a young adult I would have called myself shy, I didn’t want to be seen. Part of this I have discovered is because when you aren’t seen, if you fail no-one notices. When you are not seen, you can get away with disrespecting yourself, not following through on the things you say you’re going to do.
By putting the 60 days challenges on my Facebook page, it meant I had accountability, I felt I had to follow through on what I had said, I would do. This has been a good thing and I would highly recommend it to you. It’s a bit like having an accountability buddy. There were a few days, when the day slipped away from me, and late at night I’d be flicking through my list, or google for quick and easy ideas to complete my challenge.
The other part of this challenge for me, was to investigate what felt like fun. When I began this journey I was a very serious person, life was to lived one goal at a time, and fun was for when all the work is complete. Funny enough, the work never was complete, and fun never or seldom happened. Also fun had to have a purpose. Which 60 days highlighted very clearly. Celebrating is something I am adding to my every day.
I use the good crockery every day, I light the scented candles, I blow up the balloons, I dress in the gorgeous dress, I eat wholesome food, I sleep when I’m tired, I create beauty in my surrounding, in my writing, these are the types of things I would put off until the next job was done, or the next event was happening. Now every day is an event, every day is a day I deserve to have and use and be surrounded by the beautiful things in life.
And finally the challenges have given me back the feeling of freedom, freedom to goof off, freedom to speak my thoughts eloquently, freedom to love. This is a biggie, loving is scary, it’s putting yourself out into the open, it’s being seen, it’s feeling all the feelings, including the unpleasant ones, and knowing that I am okay.
Do you hold out on yourself?
Do you keep fun things and times for rewards?
Do you use your best things everyday? (Are you afraid that you won’t be able to replace them if something happens to them? Scarcity is strong in that statement.)
When was the last time you did something just for you, and just because you wanted to do it? No other agenda, or motivation required.
Go to the beach and curl your toes in the hot sand, or better yet run across the sand, skipping because of the heat on the soles of your feet. Hop into a cold swimming pool, or swimming hole. (Embarrassed about your body? Is some self love required?) Stroke an animal, feel its fur, wool, or hair. Feel it respond to your touch, allow yourself to be in the moment, nothing else matters as much as stroking this animal right now.
Give yourself permission to enjoy your life today. Why wait until you are sixty? Today is the day for you to feel good. Every second you feel a little better than you did before is a second that brings you lasting enjoyment.
If you were to do a challenge, let’s say thirty days to your next birthday, what would you put on your list? Why do you want to go, do, see and have these things? How will they stretch you?
What is stopping you from preparing a list of thirty things to do, be or have before your next birthday? (The answer to this question can be very telling about what you believe about yourself, and the opinions of others.)
This list is personal to you. While I was doing some of the activities on my list, I’ve had numerous people say they’d never do that, and this is okay, they would have different items on their list. However, maybe writing a list with a close friend and then swapping the lists might be a brilliant way to encourage each other and to stretch yourself and have a blast of giggle juice and happiness at the same time.
Life begins wherever you are, at any moment you can make a decision to make a different decision. The excuses we use to keep us where we are, are ploys, designed (by whom, and do we trust the designer) to keep us living small lives. It is time to release your dreams, and begin to step into them as your reality. If you can see it in your mind, you can hold it in your hand: this quote is a very true statement, and it works for you and against you. If you see doom and gloom, lack and scarcity, sickness and ill health in your mind, you will hold it in your hand. If you are already holding these in your life, begin to see: love and laughter, abundance and wealth, health and well-being in your mind, begin to feel a little better about yourself and your life every day., and before long you will be living it.
Your mind can only focus on one thing at a time, give it the best thought you can muster to dwell on, focus on the outcome you want, focus on the feeling you want to be feeling. Every time your mind wanders onto what is in front of you that you don’t like, refocus your mind on what you do want, and what you do like. (Without the side attitude of “I’ll never get it anyway,” this is sabotage and it will derail your good emotions.)
So until your next birthday, write a list of all the things you want to have a go at, and begin. Do them poorly until you can do them better? Tag me into your posts, @lindacodlin, so we can enjoy your growth together.
Until next time, Choose your thoughts for the enjoyment you gain from feeling them.
As a certified Life Coach, I help you to help yourself, so you can create a well lived life your way.
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