Serenity is not freedom from the storm,
But peace amid the storm.S A Jefferson-Wright
Whatever you resist you become. If you resist anger, you are always angry. If you resist sadness, you are always sad. If you resist suffering, you are always suffering. If you resist confusion, you are always confused. We think that we resist certain states because they are there, but actually they are there because we resist them.
Hello, My Friends
Welcome to the last week in May. Do you find that as you get older, time seems to pass so quickly? That has been my week. Hubby has been teaching me to play pool. Oh my goodness, does my brain have a heyday? Hubby tells me how to hold the cue, in my mind I’m doing what he says, but no I’m all awkward like having five thumbs. My mental chatter starts with an innocent, you’re so bad at this, you should quit while you’re ahead. I remind my brain I’m learning, when you’re learning you don’t get it right first time. Round One to me. Then hubby tells and shows how to break, success I hit it perfectly and a ball goes into the pocket, I’m feeling pretty good, confident even. I’ve got this. Chatter decides now is a good time to remind me of beginners luck. Who coined that phrase? Next three hits and the white ball shoots into the pocket, dang, this is not as easy as he makes it look. While I’m messing around aiming at and missing the balls and sinking the white, he’s clearing the table. Self talk 101, oh my goodness, the negative chatter begins. I’m glad I have the tools to shut that negative lady down, which I do. What I find amazing is how quickly my brain runs to beating me up for not being as good as some-one else. Actually there is no comparison. He’s had years of practice at the angles and pace and pressure that needs to be applied. While I’m a very new beginner. Am I giving up? No! I figure I need more practice and tuition. Will you find me at the club more often? I think yes. If I want to get better I need to practice better skills. The same applies to my mind. Mental chatter is going to happen, I expect it, it tells me where I can improve, it is a mirror to how I really view myself. What my beliefs are and it gives me a heads up on how to grow and expand my thinking.
What about you? Are you aware of your mental chatter? What does it tell you about yourself? Do you like what it is saying?
If you don’t, you can change it. I can give you the skills to hone and practice to create more of what you do want.
Well, that was a bit of a Linda rant.
What I really want to chat about is resistance?
What would a life without resistance look like?
There are a few definitions of resistance, so I want to clarify the two that I’ll be mentioning. The first is the act of fighting against something that is attacking you or refusing to accept or be changed by something. The second is using words or behaviour, knowingly or not, as a means of defense and deflection.
That is quite a definition and deserves to be read again.
So, what would your life look like if you didn’t resist the uncomfortable, or unpleasant events in your life?
Would you feel like you were loosing control, and that the whole thing you have built your life upon would collapse? I did.
Do you resist the things you perceive are good for you? Now you may say, ” Why on earth would we do that?” I’d say, “Because you don’t believe you are worthy of good things, or nice things, or pleasant things.” Maybe you think you need to be punished for something you perceive you have done wrong in the past. So enjoyment and pleasure are out of bounds for you.
Do you resist the things you perceive that are bad for you? You may say, “Well, yes of course, wouldn’t anyone?” My question is, “What makes it a situation bad, or what makes it good?” Our thoughts about it do.
If an event happened and you had no thoughts about it, you would have no reaction to it, no resistance or attraction. It’s our thoughts that create our view and it’s our view that creates how we respond, (action with conscious choice) or react, (action without conscious choice) to any situation.
For some weird reason we think the more we push against something, the easier it will be to overcome, or to get our own way. We push and strive and fight with all our might against the perceived enemy, wearing ourselves out and nothing actually changes.
Once we learn to accept what is, as it is. Hidden doors open to show ways around or through the situation. We open ourselves to lessons that we would never have been party to if we’d continued to fight. Some times the very thing we are fighting against is the thing we really want, it is just inside out and doesn’t look like we expect it to.
Often we fight so hard for something because we are afraid of what we might be losing. Or we think we have to fight for a belief we have held onto for most of our lives, even though it doesn’t serve us any more. We fight against people who are trying to help us because we think they are going to hurt us in a way we were hurt in the past. We feel like we are losing control, so we fight harder and cling on tighter to the very things that are causing us pain and harm.
We focus on what we believe we will lose. What we focus on grows. What you feed gets stronger.
What we often don’t realise is that we are creating the drama we are feeling, ourselves. Our way of thinking about any situation is how we view any situation. If you weren’t directly involved and a friend was explaining the same situation to you, but about someone you didn’t know and didn’t have any reason to be triggered or invested in the outcome, would you have the same response? I’d say most likely not.
As we learn to lean into the changes that life brings to us, looking for the lessons, the opportunities and the blessings, we are more likely to find them, when we accept what is, we discover that we can find a way through it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying all situations will disappear because you stop resisting them, I’m saying when you give up the energy expenditure of fighting and resisting, you can put that energy to better use, in finding solutions, or creating new ways to view the obstacle. See if you can find the rainbow, see what growth that is in the situation. And sometimes there is nothing you can do but accept that it is, as it is. This releases your inner energy and creates peace and harmony, serenity, between your body, brain and emotions. Which often allows for grace to flow to and through you.
Often we make a situation mean something about ourselves, we take it personally, we make it mean we are bad, or unworthy, or not valued, under appreciated. We make a situation mean whatever our self esteem needs us to make it mean for us to live where we are, they way we are. If we accepted the situation as it is, and stepped away from our perceived loss or gain we may find the solution is wrapped within us.
We can’t see the opportunity because all our energy is being spent struggling against how we perceive the situation will affect us. By releasing the resistance, we make room to see the blessing.
When we begin to learn to trust that everything that happens to us is actually happening for us, and is for our benefit, we begin to see the growth and reap the rewards of peace, harmony, and serenity allowing our electromagnetic energy to flow through us without any hindrance.
So this week, my challenge to you, is to look at where you feel stuck and see what you are resisting and investigate ways in which you can release the tension a little, by accepting that it is the way it is right now.
xox Linda Codlin
I would love the opportunity to show you how you can have more ease and flow in your life. To release the resistance and see the silver lining.
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Find me on Facebook @authenticlivingwithlinda @lindacodlin25
Connect with me for a one on one coaching appointment.