“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it.”
– Nicholas Sparks
Picture by Jim Strasma from Unsplash
Hello, My Friends
This week has flown by, it seems that seven days a week is not enough to do all the things I want to do.
I’m finding my days skip by so quickly, I get involved with writing and the hours melt away.
For some reason I went looking through last years diary, I was tracking down a certain date, and event.
As I read the words written on the pages I was amazed at how many had come to pass, and how many I had dropped and let stagnate.
Imagine if I had remained diligent in my goal of jogging every day, I would be feeling fitter and possibly be slimmer. This goal is again on my list to do. This time I am more determined to have the satisfaction when February comes around next year, of saying I’m doing that.
This got me thinking about all the important things I want to see happen in my life, and the seemingly insignificant things that derail, sabotage or bury them before they come to fruition.
Life has a way of capturing your attention.
If you are not alert, your minutes will slip away and with them your life.
Do you have a recurring theme, that’s like a pesky fly that doesn’t know when to quit annoying you?
I believe each one of us has certain events that run through our lives like a golden thread.
These golden threads are the values we hold dear, some are for our good and some are for our growth, they are all for our benefit.
As we learn to think on purpose and become mindful of the pesky flies that buzz in the background, not contributing anything positive to our daily living. We become aware of these threads. They can show up as consequences of behaviours that are driving our lives.
The golden threads glisten as the light hits them, revealing the character and fortitude that has been woven into the fabric of who we think we are.
Maybe the golden thread served us a long time ago, and now it is a hindrance tripping us up as we try to walk a new path.
We often need to upgrade our beliefs as we walk through the different stages of life.
Without an upgrade, the golden threads of past thoughts and habits keep us stuck in lives we no longer want for ourselves.
Have you ever wondered why you seem to always have moaning Mertle’s or discouraging Dave’s or judgmental Judy’s in your life?
I am of the opinion that these people are in our lives to teach us something. The longer we take to learn the lesson the longer they stay attached to us.
I have previously talked about triggers, and how they sit like invisible velcro hooks, unseen by the naked eye, attached to our psyche. They sit camouflaged, resting until some unsuspecting person shares their opinion, belief or judgement and accidentally spikes one of the little velcro hooks.
Then the person with the hook, reacts, unaware that they’ve been snagged. They let off a barrage of unpleasantries telling every one watching that some thing is going on.
These triggers are our emotional sensors. They let us know when someone has gotten too close to one of our pet values or beliefs, and alerts us that we need to go into protection mode.
Protection mode looks different for each situation, it may mean we become moody and pouty, or we become defensive or combative. When we are in protection mode nothing is allowed to enter.
We deflect, defer, project or attack, anything other than looking at what is actually causing the trigger.
We blame and accuse, anything to shift the uncomfortable feeling that is surging through our bodies.
The golden thread that runs through our lives is vibrating it tune.
Triggers are actually a great way to discover what emotion is being hidden.
As part of the human experience, we all have feelings. Some are ‘good’ we like these and know what to do with them usually.
Some are unpleasant, which we label as bad, these are the ones we want to avoid. And are the very emotions that have the most to teach us about ourselves.
What if the next time you have a strong reaction to “Judgmental Judy” you took a look to see what her judgement is resting on, You may find that the velcro hook is linked to some-one in your past and how they talked to you. Or to an event that caused you emotional pain and now it is has become a strong link, which may need some working to unravel.
As a life coach this is my specialty, helping people to unravel their emotional responses to triggers that no longer suit them.
Your golden thread is a reminder of where you have been in your life. The hurts that have been healed, the things you have succeeded at, the glimpses of history that rest behind your experiences.
These triggers can be the thin threads that are preventing you from attaining your goal, keeping you stuck one year from the next, in the same holding pattern.
When you heal the hook that the trigger has snagged, you will find that those people and comments no longer irritate, or give you an emotional response.
You may see the trigger for what it is, but there is no hook on you for it to latch onto.
It is my intention for you that you will uncover the main triggers of your life and heal the hook that it is attached to.
Emotional freedom is only a hook or two away.
Until next time,
Look at moaning Mertle, Discouraging Dave and Judgmental Judy with intrigue and work out how their triggers are getting caught on your hooks, so you can unravel the attitude or hurt living in the background.
xox Linda Codlin.