Hello, My Friends
This week has seen me tenting in the Ruahine Ranges, with my daughter and grand children. I pitched my tent under the Kereru (NZ Wood Pigeon) super highway, all we watched the graceful flight of these heavy birds with their wings displacing the air giving the whoosh sound that lets you know they are there. We listened to the Morepork echoing their distinctive call through the valley, My grand daughter announced the next morning, ‘”I didn’t get any sleep last night because the morepork’s were moreporking all night”
For the month of January I began to write daily about my journey to self-love, the lessons I have learned. We are into week two. I’m sharing them on Facebook. Look for me @authenticlivingwithlinda or @lindacodlin25.
SELF-LOVE
The power of “AND”
On the road from I can’t to I can is the little word “AND”.
I learned to use the word ‘AND’ after a negative I can’t statement to give my brain the opportunity to change the thought into something slightly better and believable.
“I can’t write a blog post”, became…
“I can’t write a blog post AND I’m going to write one paragraph on one subject I know and love.”
The I can’t became an action I could take.
Then I added a second ‘AND’ to the “I can’t publish it because it’s not good enough.” to make it AND “I’ll check for basic spelling and punctuation errors then I’ll publish it” “Near enough is good enough, and imperfect action is better than no action.”
Then I faced my fear and sent it off.
The miracle of a little “AND” that gave me space to move from a negative self defeating statement to a more helpful statement that allowed me to take imperfect action.
The lesson in this is to accept your I can’t and move it into the land of I can by adding “AND” to it with an action that you can complete, even if the action is done poorly in your opinion, you have moved from I can’t to I can.
“AND” gives your brain something to focus on, it goes to work to find an action to add to your and, creating forward motion. To read more head over to Jan 5th @lindacodlin25 on Facebook.
Creating a new way of thinking and believing can be done with repetition.
I have found that AFFIRMATIONS are the quickest way to reprogramme my brain to allow me to move forward into the beliefs I want to hold about myself.
Briefly, an affirmation is a statement you make when you agree with something. The Affirmations you want to use are spoken as a positive fact. To be effective it needs to be written in and stated in the positive present tense.
The two most important words the human brain understands is “I AM”
I AM tells your brain exactly who you are and what you want to do, have and be.
When-ever you use the words I Am or I’m… The brain says, “Oh! I understand you want me to find ….. ,” and it begins to search for evidence and scenarios that back up your I am statement.
Always give your brain positive, and forward looking things to focus on. Your brain needs specific direction, give it specific direction with your I am statements, and AFFIRMATIONS.
The way you see yourself has a direct impact on how you are able to love yourself. By adding one I am statement into your day, you can move toward loving and accepting yourself more.
Write ‘I AM ENOUGH.” on your mirror and read it at least five times a day for thirty days, let the words permeate into your mind and soul.
Choose an area of your life to want to improve, write one or two affirmations in the positive present tense onto a small wallet sized card and carry them with you. Read them every time you think negatively about yourself, feel the energy you want to create as you read your statement of what it is you want to have, be and do.
I cover affirmations on Days 6 & 7 on my Facebook Page, @authenticlivingwithlinda @lindacodlin25.
As human’s we will have negative emotions, our brains are wired to look out for danger, to protect us. Our brain is constantly scanning for things it perceives will harm us. As we have grown up we have been feeding our brain with information of what to look out for.
Our negative thoughts are our friends, they are here to keep us safe. When we ask them what it is they are trying to keep us safe from we get to uncover some of our hidden fears and road blocks that need to be eliminated to create the freedom we want to experience.
For you to enjoy the joys of life, you also need to experience the sadder side of life. To constantly experience one side of life without having the contrast of the other side is to diminish the ability to be human.
All human emotion is valid, it is what we choose to do with those emotions that makes the difference to how we live our lives.
On day 8 I cover “The Pollyanna Syndrome” @lindacodlin25 on Facebook.
For you to love yourself completely you will at some point need to acknowledge all your emotions, and investigate what they are in your life for. All emotion, ‘negative’ and ‘positive’ have a reason for being in your life, your job is to work out what it’s there for and whether it is still working for you or not.
This leads into day 9. Learning to retell your story to create acceptance and love for yourself.
The more resist our thoughts and feelings, the more they will pop up somewhere else in our lives to cause havoc. Resisting our feelings takes a lot of energy, trying to live up to other people’s expectations is hard work. Denying the effect situations had on our emotions causes our bodies stress.
We have a choice in how we respond to the past events of our lives. We get to choose to tell a better story. We are not our past! Our past is only in our memory, It is a story we tell ourselves about what happened, and usually when we struggle to love ourselves this story doesn’t help us to move forward into the future easily.
We get to decide what we want our past to mean, what story we are telling ourselves about the event.
If you can think a thought, you can change a thought. All thoughts are optional.
When we learn to separate the fact of an event from the emotion of that event, we create space to see the event without the emotions that cloud the facts. Which gives us space to be able to retell the story in a way that helps us to let go of the hurt, guilt and shame that holds us in bondage.
When we learn to let go of the hurt, guilt and shame we open up room in our hearts and souls for forgiveness and love of ourselves.
As the Month of January continues I will continue to write of my experience in learning to love and accept myself.
Head over to Facebook and look me up @lindacodlin25 and I’ll walk you through what I did to find my true self.
Until next week my friends, I hope to see you everyday this month.
Linda Codlin.
#authenticlivingwithlinda
Email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com
Find me on Facebook @authenticlivingwithlinda @lindacodlin25
Connect with me for a one on one coaching appointment.
Self-Love is within you.
Self-love is accepting all of you- even the not so nice attributes.
Self-Love is knowing you are enough.
Meet with me everyday for The Month of SELF-LOVE @lindacodlin25 in Facebook.
If you want any help with anything I am covering in this month email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com for a coaching session.