Understanding the Persecution Mindset

Welcome to Authentic Living Coaching
I’m Linda Codlin, Transformational Life Coach.

Welcome, My Friends.

The seasons have begun to turn, the trees leaves over the road are beginning to change colour and fall, a gentle breeze is sufficient for some of these leaves to let go and drift to the ground.
Other leaves require a bigger shove to leave the safety they have known, hiding amongst all the other leaves, one of the many.
Recently we had a massive wind storm, it blew for a few days.
The leaves left the trees in droves, filling gutters, settling and nestling themselves in amongst the garden plants.
The trees don’t even appear to notice, the mass evacuation of leaves.
The leaves being blown around appear to be having the time of their of lives, they are free, they are soaring. Drifting and floating as the wind moves them.

As I continue along the path of health and well-being with hubby, it can feel a bit like we are a leaf hanging onto the tree, not willing to let go, not wanting to step out of the safety of what we have always known and always done.
And yet, I am finding that part of this journey is to let go, to allow the season to move us along the path.
I am able to allow the storm to set me free from beliefs, hurts, and hidden pains that are being exposed as I drift on the winds of life.
I also have the ability to guide my life, to be free, to soar and to find the joy and magic of this part of my journey.
I am so appreciative of the skills and tools I have learned and use as a Life Coach, to go through this part of my journey without these skills and tools, I know the pain would be so much worse.

I have been thinking about the mindset of feeling persecuted.
Feeling like every time something that goes wrong, it’s your fault, or that everyone is picking on you.
You may feel like no-one likes you, or that everyone is ganging up against you, even if it isn’t true.
This is what we call a “persecution mentality.”

This is a paradigm, a way of looking at the world, it’s a type of lens that colours everything we see and do.
It is a mindset where we believe ourselves to be specifically targeted, harassed or persecuted, even when there is insufficient evidence or justification.

This can show up in our lives in four ways.

1. Hypervigilance:
   “Hypervigilance is when a person is extra alert all the time, like they’re always on the lookout for danger—even when they’re actually safe. It’s like their brain is stuck in “emergency mode,” watching everything and everyone just in case something bad might happen.

Imagine you’re playing at the park, but instead of having fun, you’re constantly checking if anyone is staring at you, if someone might hurt you, or if something bad is going to happen. You can’t relax, even though there’s no real danger.”

This can make friendships and being around people feel stressful instead of fun or comforting
You might find you can’t trust other people, you are always looking for an ulterior motive in what they are doing or saying, even when they are being kind and genuine.

You might get upset and scared quickly, you are always expecting people to hurt you, even when on one is meaning to hurt you.

You might expect something bad to happen, which makes you stand aloof from people and social groups, as a form of protection.

You might take someones normal behaviour as a slight against you, like if someone is being quiet, you may think they are mad at you.

2. Paranoia:
“Paranoia is when someone believes that others are trying to hurt them, trick them, or make fun of them—even if it’s not true. Their brain tells them scary things like,

“That person is laughing—they must be laughing at me,”
or
“My friends are whispering—they must be talking about me.”

Even if no one is doing anything wrong, the person with paranoia feels like they’re being attacked or judged.

You might find you feel like you can’t trust anyone, that everyone is talking about you. Eventually you will push those who really do care away.

You might push people away because you thing they are being unkind, mean, or sarcastic even when they are not. This isolation could make you feel lonely.

You might act like you are angry or sulky, withdrawing yourself away from others, or you might feel theatened by those who are trying to help you.

You might begin to say hurtful and unkind to people, because you believe they are out to get you, and you have to defend yourself, when this is not the truth.

When this happens people will stop wanting to be around them, not because they’re bad, but because it’s too hard to be close to someone who always thinks the worst about everything and everyone.

3. Defensiveness:
   “Defensiveness is when someone reacts by protecting themselves quickly, especially when they think they’re being blamed, judged, or criticized—even if they’re not.

It’s like putting up an invisible shield and saying:

“It’s not my fault!”
“You’re wrong!”
“I didn’t do anything!”

Sometimes people get defensive even when someone is just asking a question or offering help, because they feel like they’re under attack—even if no one meant it that way.”

You might find that people don’t talk openly with you because they are afraid of your reaction of anger or denial. This blocks communication.

You might notice that other people don’t share their concerns or feelings with you, they may be feeling like you shut them down without hearing them out.

You might be argumentative or pushy, which creates conflict, even though others may be trying to connect or help you.

You might feel defensive when people are trying to give you constructive feedback, and keeps you in the same pattern preventing growth.

Defensiveness is like wearing armor all the time. It might protect you from feeling hurt, but it also keeps people out. Relationships need openness and trust—not shields.

4. Distrust:
   “Distrust means not believing that others have good intentions for you. A person who feels distrust often thinks:

“They’re going to let me down.”
“They’re hiding something.”
“I can’t count on them.”

Sometimes distrust comes from past experiences—like being lied to, betrayed, or hurt—so the person learns to protect themselves by expecting the worst from others.

When you distrust people it prevents them from getting close to you, you have walls up to protect yourself emotionally. However a wall also entraps you often creating feelings of loneliness.

If you have the energy of not trusting people, it creates tension, because people feel they have to ‘prove’ themselves to you, and anything they do will never be enough, because it isn’t actually about them or their work.

You might feel like you can’t rely on other people to get what needs doing done. This blocks teamwork, it prevents you from sharing, helping and relying on others. It also blocks other people from offering to help, to share and to let you grow and use your skills.

You might feel isolated, alone and unwanted even when people are around you willing to help and support you. Your distrust builds invisible walls.

Distrust builds a wall between people. Even if others mean well, the person who distrusts will keep them at arm’s length. Over time, that can leave them feeling unsupported and misunderstood.

The persecuted mindset is one that creates isolation, and is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more we believe we are being persecuted the more we set ourselves up to be isolated and persecuted.

If you find yourself relating to any of these aspects of feeling persecuted, you can create a shift in your life with healing, healthy boundaries and safer relationships.
You can learn to trust yourself, and others one small step at a time.

Next week I will share four causes and contributing factors to the persecution mindset.

Until next time listen to the thought loops running through your mind.
Do you find you use these sentences often?
“They’re talking about me.”
“Are they laughing at me?”
“They’re making fun of me.” “my accent” add whatever your go to topic is that you feel judged about.
“Are they trying to trick me?”
“I’m in trouble.” “What did I do now?”
“They don’t like me.” “They’re just being nice, and don’t mean it.”
“It’s not my fault!.” “You’re wrong.” “I didn’t do anything!”
“They’re picking on me again.”
“I can’t trust them to do as they say.” “If I want it done well, I have to do it myself.”
“I can’t count on him/her to follow through.”
“What are they hiding?”
” They’re just saying that, they don’t really mean it.” Especially if you have been complimented.

If you find any of these running on a loop, watch when they happen.
What is going on around you? Are you feeling unsafe, or threatened? Write them in your journal.

If you want help to work through any of these aspects book a free 30 minute call with me.
My details are below.

oxox Linda

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As a certified Life Coach, I help you to help yourself, so you can create a well lived life your way. 

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