Comparing yourself with others does not make you fee better about yourself.
You are comparing there best with your worst. You have given them an unfair advantage.
Take back your power, become aware of your comparisons.
Welcome to Authentic Living Coaching, The Podcast,
I’m your hostess, Linda Codlin
I am a certified life coach, and the founder of Authentic Living Coaching.
I am passionate about helping you to help yourself.
It is my intention that each and every one of us has the
information we need to make the best decisions about the way we choose to live our lives.
Living life on your terms, and being your authentic self.
Hello, My Friends
Welcome to Episode #49
The trap of comparing yourself with others.
We compare ourselves with other people.
We are looking to see how we stack up against the “norm”.
However we start with a flawed assumption that everyone is normal, and everyone is equal.
We are all unique.
If you are looking for acceptance and validation that you are in the normal range of humanity, you are selling yourself short.
The joy of being part of humanity is in the differences you bring.
The very thing you feel left out around could be the very thing that we as humanity might need.
Comparing yourself with other people, is never on a level playing field.
I was talking to a lady the other day, she is a masterful public speaker, one that I aspire to be like. In our conversation I mentioned this and her response astounded me.
She confided that although she looked very confident on the outside, inside she was anxious, and feeling anything but confident.
When we compare ourselves with other people, we transpose our feelings onto them. If they are all put together and beautiful, and we are feeling frumpy and dowdy.
We look at them with jealousy, often reminding ourselves how we are not good enough, not put together enough, not beautiful enough.
The thing is we don’t see all their off days, the instant reactions that are not so beautiful, their normal living.
This comparison is never any good for your soul. Your soul is yours to nourish, and only you really know how to nourish it in ways that have you feeling genuine love for yourself.
Being kind to yourself is accepting you where you are, and taking the next step to move into where you want to be, without harbouring jealousy of others, without comparisons of how well you are or are not doing.
Every action you take is building a story about yourself.
Often you can read the story of other people easier than you can read your own story, your thoughts about your day to day life colours the way you see your life.
How would you feel if someone else was feeling inadequate and dissatisfied with their life, because they were comparing where they are today with your life?
But in that comparison they don’t see all the hard years, all the struggles, and difficult decisions and sacrifices you made to get to where you are today.
The story we see in others, is often the successes they have worked hard for over many years.
When I used to compare myself to people I thought had their lives together, and were living a life of ease, I wasn’t looking at the behind the scenes decisions that got them there.
I was looking at a way to escape the life I was living and not enjoying.
I thought they had some thing I could never have.
What I have learned, is I can have whatever I think some one else has, if I’m willing to put in the work to build the skills, to create opportunities and take them when they arrive.
There is no life without struggle, for every level of growth we achieve and want to achieve there is an inward struggle with the person we are now, and an outward struggle with the habits we have already formed.
To become like the person you admire, you are going to have to let go of some of your securities, and face some of your insecurities.
Comparing yourself with who you were a year ago, with who you are now, can be so much more profitable in self-esteem building.
Changing one thought about yourself, and thinking that thought for an entire year, will bring a shift.
As you think about the changed thought about yourself, imagine what she would do if she was living that thought everyday, and try out acting as her.
Looking to other people for validation will have you running around in circles, digging holes you don’t want, living in ways that wear you out, and will strip you of your authentic self.
Often the people we are inadvertently asking to validate us, are not in an emotionally stable place to validate themselves, let alone anyone else.
When we ask for validation by judging ourselves harshly against others perceived successes, we strip our souls of the power to validate ourselves.
We give our power away.
Today is the day you can begin to stop comparing yourself with someone else’s story, and start creating your own story.
So in one year’s time you can compare where you are now, with where you were, and see how you have validated yourself, trusted yourself and begun to move towards what you truly want.
The only good comparison, is a self comparison, one that enhances your unique skills and abilities, one that has you living from your authentic soul. Being true to you.
Have a fabulous day my friends. Until next time…
Live your best life, Know yourself and live your life authentically.
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