Loving Yourself: Forgiveness- I’m Sorry

Do have that nagging voice in the back of your mind, reminding you why you’re not good enough?
Feeling like you are the last person you can love?
Self love goes hand in hand with self forgiveness. Lets begin to love you from the inside out.

Welcome to Authentic Living Coaching, The Podcast,
I’m your hostess, Linda Codlin

I am a certified life coach, and the founder of Authentic Living Coaching.
I am passionate about helping you to help yourself.
It is my intention that each and every one of us has the
information we need to make the best decisions about the way we choose to live our lives.

Living life on your terms, and being your authentic self.

Hello, My Friends
Welcome to Episode # 34

Loving yourself is the most important and best gift you can give yourself.
It is also one of the most foreign gifts you can give yourself if you are not in the habit of respecting yourself.

Today I want to talk about the hairy and scary topic of self-forgiveness.
Forgiving yourself is the greatest act of love you can extend to yourself

We tend to be harder on ourselves than we are on those around us.
We make excuses for other peoples bad behaviour, but condemn ourselves for lesser actions.

Forgiving yourself is about you. It may involve the actions or non actions of other people.
The thing about forgiveness is that the person holding onto the pain, or the experience is the person being harmed by the experience.
Forgiveness is about letting go of the invisible cord that binds you emotionally to the person or situation that is holding you back.
Forgiveness is not letting anyone off the hook, or agreeing with their behaviour, or taking the blame, it is totally about you.
It is about you regaining your power.
When you allow a situation or person to rule your actions and beliefs you are giving your emotional and often your physical power to someone else.
Forgiveness is about taking back that power, it’s about being responsible for what you can be responsible for.

The system I use has 4 steps, I’m sorry, I forgive you, I love you, and Thank you, the way I use these steps creates healing for the person using it.
You take a position of power in your life.
Step number one is to acknowledge you are sorry.
State to yourself what you are sorry for, let’s say you’ve not been eating healthily.
Talking to your body, your mind and your spirit. Be completely honest with yourself for what you are sorry for. This is not a beat up on you session, it is a recognition of how you have let yourself down, and how you want to create better outcomes.
You could say something like, ” I’m sorry, “Linda” (Place your name here) for not taking better care of you, I’m sorry I have allowed you to get out of shape, I’m sorry I have neglected you by not caring about what I put into my body.
I’m sorry for not giving you positive stimulating information to think about.
The purpose is to acknowledge to yourself that you recognise you are willing to do something about your situation.
If your situation includes someone else, you can forgive yourself for they way you see yourself in that situation.
Let me be clear, I am not saying that you are responsible for the situation, I am saying you have feelings about how you handled the situation, and if these feelings are preventing you from moving into a life you want to be living, then give yourself the grace to apologize to yourself for them.
For example, Your mother might always blame you for the way her life has turned out.
Your Mothers life is up to her, how you feel about being blamed is up to you.
Using the I’m sorry part of forgiveness, you could imagine your mother was sitting in front of you. (You’re not ready to talk to her directly yet.)
You get to tell her that you are sorry she feels this way, you get to tell her how you feel, you might even like to write it down. (Then burn it safely, for your eyes only.)
You get to tell yourself that you are sorry that you have allowed your mother to speak to you in a certain way, you get to tell yourself you are sorry that you didn’t have the courage to walk away.
You get to say to your body that you are sorry for putting it in excessivesly stressful situations, being sorry for the tension that has built up in your body by taking on the blame of your mother.
You get to say to your mind that you are sorry for listening to words spoken by your mother that have created certain feelings of resentment.
You also get to say to your spirit that you are sorry for holding it back by taking on board the beliefs that you are to blame for your mothers life being like it is.

When we hold onto the pain given to us by other people it has an affect on us.

As an example: I would say to myself, imagining my mother sitting opposite me, remembering I am sitting in my place of power, and she can not harm me in any way.
Mother, I am sorry you feel like I am to blame for life being the way it is.
I am also sorry that I have allowed you to make me feel responsible for your life.
I am sorry that I have taken on board your view of life, I am sorry that I feel responsible for everything and everyone in my life.
I am sorry that I was not strong enough to tell you how being blamed has affected my life.
I am so sorry for taking all the blame into my body, creating stress and disease in my muscles, in my cells.
I am so sorry for not taking better care of me, when my gut told me to move away from this situation.
I am sorry that I was not the guard of my mind, and that I allowed the words to cut into my subconscious mind like a hot iron searing the unhealthy words in my mind like a brand.
I am sorry that I have weakened by essence by not standing up for myself, for not being true to me.
I am sorry for not listening and acting as was needed for my well-being.
I am sorry that allowing me to be me, has been too scary, to speak my truth has been too hard, to say what I need to say in love has been unthinkable.
Linda, I am sorry for the pain you have been through, I am sorry for the harm you have faced, Iam sorry that I didn’t protect you better.

This first stage of forgiveness is to clean out all the hidden emotions, all the anger, hurt, pain , dissappointments that have been hiding inside you.
If you decide to imagine someone who has harmed you sitting opposite you, choose someone you are truly willing to forgive and break the ties of the past.
Remember I am not a trained therapist, this is what I do when I want to heal a relationship or a wound from my history.
Please seek professional medical assistance if this has triggered you in any way.

It is my intention to empower you to live your life fully.
To end this podcast I want to suggest that you flip the I’m sorry to I am grateful.
We will cover this in step three, but it feels too heavy to leave you in a space of being sorry.
For example using the I’m sorry’s above.
I am grateful that I have allowed you to make me feel responsible for your life because I am a stronger person because of it, I have learned to handle difficult things better.
I am grateful for not taking better care of my body, because I wouldn’t here now, seeking health and well being.
I am grateful that I haven’t guarded my mind, because now I know what to watch out for, I know how challenging it is to rewire my subconscious mind, so I am more mindful of what I put into my brain.

For every I’m sorry find the silver lining.

Until next time my friends, Begin the forgiveness process with yourself. It is the greatest gift of love you can give yourself.

and Have a fabulous day
If you want help to figure out how to forgive yourself, contact me and together we can free you from the pain and hurts that are keeping you in a holding pattern in your life.
Live your best life, forgive yourself, Know yourself and live your life authentically.
If you want help to find what is important to you, connect with me for coaching. You can find me on Facebook and Instagram. Linda Codlin and authentic living coaching
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Thank You for listening.

As a certified Life Coach, I help you to help yourself, so you can create a well lived life your way. 

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When you are ready to make a transformational difference in your life, contact me for a one on one coaching session.