How do you see your life?
Have you lost something, only to find it in the place you’d already looked?
Perception is the lens that we view life through.
Does yours work for you?
An essential part of seeing clearly is finding the willingness to look closely and to go beyond our own ideas.
Hello My Friends,
This week has seen the beginning of spring, we have acquired a couple of beautiful performing pigeons, I love the cooing and quiet coaxing of the male as he encourages the female that nesting is a good idea.
It’s the time of the year, when I begin to notice how dirty everything is, dust on the windows, curtains and drapes that are looking tired, it’s the time of year that I also get that nesting feeling, wanting to clean and tidy, wanting to reduce clutter and the excesses that winter has accumulated.
This got me thinking about the way we see things, with dirty windows the view isn’t quite as clear as it was, the change is subtle, almost unnoticable, until visibility is impeded.
The lens we look at life through will determine how we see the things that are in front of us.
Have you ever gone looking for a USB flash drive?
We have one that has flowers on it. It has a particular place it is supposed to live in. I went to get it the other day and I couldn’t find it anywhere, it was not where it is supposed to be.
We have multiple flash drives of various colours, with little labels on them, so I know what is on them quickly and easily. Geeky I know, it’s how I roll.
Anyway, I couldn’t find the floral drive.
What’s the first thing you do when you can’t find what you want, and you have ‘looked’ everywhere?
You politely ask the other occupants of the house if they have used it. Depending on their lens, they may think you are accusing them of moving it, using it, or losing it.
With this particular drive, ‘no-one’ had moved it, don’t you just love no-one.
Even thought ‘no-one’ had moved it I still couldn’t find. I looked again in the container, in the draw, and on the unit.
I wracked my brain where I’d seen it last, used it last and whether I’d put it back.
After a while of huffing about not finding it, hubby decides to help.
He pulls open the draw, moves two cords and there it is.
“Really?” How come I couldn’t see it. I looked in the same draw.
The lens I was looking through, was, I was looking for something that was lost.
His lens, was looking for the flash drive.
This also happens in the way we relate to people.
We have an opinion of how some-one ought to be treated and so we treat them in accordance with our opinions and point of views.
These individuals also have an opinion of how they ought to be treated, and they may take offence at being treated in a way that doesn’t align with their opinon, and the way you treated them.
Or these individuals may be distrustful of you, because you didn’t treat them in a way they are accustomed to being treated.
The way we view the world, has an impact on how the world responds to us.
If we expect to have ‘bad” things happen, we are not surprised when they do. And if ‘bad’ things don’t happen, then we tend to undermine the benefits or ‘good’ things that do happen to us.
By expecting to be treated poorly, we allow people to treat us poorly.
What you believe about yourself and how you relate to other people, determines how you expect to be received, heard and understood. What you believe you deserve is generally what you allow to happen to you, or around you.
When you have a low self esteem, and don’t believe you are worthy of ‘The Good Life’ you may find that even the ‘good’ times are tinged with the fear that some-thing bad will happen.
One of my lens’ used to be, it’s me against the world, I was taught to trust no-one, that the world was a big bad place.
This perception that the world was a big bad place and that every one was out to get me. Kept me from reaching out to people, kept me living a small life and kept me very afraid.
My expectation was that no-one would help me, that everyone was out to rip me off.
And when you expect to be ripped off, what would happen is people would rip me off, I opened the door for them to step in and take over. This then created the feelings of resentment and bitterness.
To protect myself, I created a life behind brick walls.
I felt like I didn’t have any control, so I controlled everyone and everything, or at least tried to.
When people didn’t do what I expected from them, they fell into the mental category of worthless, I used to tell myself, ‘see told you, you’re not worth it’ and if they did do what I asked, they then fell into the mental category of people always want something, so I’d think to myself “What do they want in return, what is this going to cost me.”
Damned if they did, and damned if they didn’t.
Can you relate to this way of looking at the world?
Over time I have changed my belief about myself and about other people.
As I cleaned the lens I was looking at life through I began to see a brighter future. I began to see that most people will treat you the way you expect to be treated, or in a way that you allow them to treat you. By improving my self belief, and generating feelings of worthiness, I put out better energy, which then draws better things to me.
Yes, life is still going to happen, that “bad” things will still occur, however, those ‘bad’ things are often coloured by our perceptions, as the way we look at things can determine how we handle those very situations, that we feel we have no physical control over.
The thing is, you get to decide how you see these situations. You can see them through rose tinted glasses (only seeing the ‘good’), You can see them through muddy glasses (only seeing the ‘bad’), or you can see them how they are(a mixture of ‘good and bad’) you can only see with the perspective you have at the present moment.
You can gain a better perspective, you can educate yourself in better ways to handle situations, you can make choices from within you to create peace and harmony in your spirit. You can seek out the wisdom of those who have walked the road before you. Seeking advice and counsel to give you more options and choices to empower you to make better decisions.
The power to shift perspective is within you. The power of finding your worth, your good enoughness, your ability to clean your life view in a way that makes your life work for you is within your power.
As a life coach I can walk with you through the process of cleaning your lens, of learning new ways of thinking and being. Of finding and believing in your worthiness.
The best part about the personal development movement is, if one person can do it, then so can any one else.
If I can change my lens of pessimism, distrust, and a very low self image, and no belief in myself, to one of hope, trust and confident self belief, then so can you.
It will take work, effort and time. (Actually I have found it takes a surprisingly short amount of time)
If you want to find your confidence, your sense of self-worth, your ability to move from seeing life as hard, to seeing life as life, then connect with me for one on one coaching.
If what I’m teaching resonates with you, like, share, follow and connect with me.
Your challenge for this week is to decide on the lens you currently see life with, and you may need to ask someone to help you to see your lens, because we get so used to seeing the way we see, we don’t realize we are seeing in ways that harm us.
Until next time, be your best authentic self.
As a certified Life Coach, I help you to help yourself, so you can create a well lived life your way.
If what I am sharing resonates with you, follow me, reach out, share with a friend, like or leave a message below,
When you are ready to make a transformational difference in your life, contact me for a one on one coaching session.