Proving yourself to the most important person in your life.

Hello, My Friends

This week has been a wet and wild week. Hubby is acting like a caged animal, his natural habitat is outdoors, so being cooped up inside is not his thing.

Me, I’m like a cat, a tame house cat, I’ll find a warm, preferably sunny spot and curl up with a great book to while away my hours.

This week I’ve been thinking about imperfections.

Hubby and I were having a conversation about some of the important things in life, like whether we want to be cremated or buried, where we wanted to be laid to rest, what kind of care we want in the last stages of life. That kind of important and often hairy kind of conversation.

My view is, we are all going to pass away at some time, we just don’t know when. So if we get the messy, emotional stuff sorted now, before we’re in the depths of emotional overwhelm, then that will be a few less items to have to contend with, and if we let family members know as well, it may make the time of passing a bit easier.

I also believe that we can celebrate living while we are living.

This was a foreign concept to me for ever so long, the premise I’d collected in growing up was we had to get through life, with as few scratches and hurts as possible. Aim at being perfect and hope that was good enough to get a great seat in the afterlife.

Enjoying my life for the sheer fun of enjoyment was weird, it was like I’d be having fun, and catch myself having fun, then I’d begin looking for the disaster that was sure to follow, the fun police killjoys, and sure enough I’d find them.

I also hid my imperfections, have you ever seen someone hiding their imperfections, it’s a bit like shining a bright LED light on the point that is trying to be hidden. I wasn’t fooling anyone, except maybe myself, but looking back, I don’t think even I believed my stories.

Today I want to talk about owning your imperfections.

What is your view of your imperfections?

Do you only see yourself through the eyes of your body size? And that is never good enough.

Looking back at photographs of myself, I always had the self-image that I was fat, and I had to work hard to be thin, a point I could never attain. The self talk around my body image was shocking, I’d be so mean to myself. Now I look at those pictures and wonder what on earth was I thinking. There was nothing wrong with my body shape or size. Perfectionism had a hold on my view of myself.

Do you see yourself as worthy only when you are earning, or creating? And you never seem to have enough or be good enough at what you are working on.

In my first marriage, I got the sense that I wasn’t worthy unless I was earning. (This was my perspective at the time, and is highly debatable about the ‘truth’ of the premise.) Since earning money doesn’t have anything to do with self-worth. It has everything to do with value and the marketplace, the more value you have as in skills and abilities, the more money you earn. And whether you keep that money or not is related to your beliefs around money, spending, saving and your self-worth.

What are you trying to be perfect in? What is the biggest thing you are trying to cover up with your need to be perfect?

Ask yourself- WHAT AM I AFRAID THAT OTHERS WILL FIND OUT ABOUT ME?

What are your secrets in your closet? We all have them.

To be able to live in harmony with yourself, coming to terms with your history, your scary, your shameful, and your embarrassing past, is part of the journey of letting perfectionism go.

Each one of us gets to own our stories, the ugly bits, the beautiful bits, the bits we are ashamed to admit to ourselves, let alone to others. This is a very personal part of our journey. It is where we become brutally honest with ourselves and realise that we can not go back into history and change what was done, said or played out. We can rewrite the story in a way that empowers, and inspires us to be the heroine of our lives.

Too often we have been feed the story that we are the victims of our past, and that we have to wear the guilt and shame of our history for all our lives. I disagree, I know the freedom that comes from choosing to be the heroine, to accept my history as it is warts, wobbles, and E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G, good, bad and ugly. I can not change my actions from the past, I can forgive and choose to be a better human today than I was yesterday,

Imperfections make us human, those very aspects of your personality you are trying so hard to cover up, are the very aspects of your personality that make you likable, and lovable.

When and if you decide to share your story, share it from a place of worthiness, of confidence, of living in your truth.

If you share your story with the view that by sharing, someone will make you feel better, you are giving away your power. You are asking for approval, a worthy person does not need to seek approval. The worthy person gives approval to themselves. They know their value, they trust that they are okay, they have nothing to prove.

The veneer of perfectionism is no longer required when you know you are worthy, because you are a human being, and you do not have to prove your worth to yourself or anyone else. You can do, fail, get up, and do again. And keep doing until what you want to achieve is done.

The only person you have to prove yourself to is yourself.

THE ONLY PERSON YOU HAVE TO PROVE YOURSELF TO IS YOURSELF. Do better today than you did yesterday. Do more this hour than you did in the last hour. Be, embody the person you see yourself being, right now in this moment in time, and then again in the next moment of time. If you forget who you are, STOP, then begin fresh right where you are, to be who you know you are.

What is one small action that you can take today to prove yourself to yourself? What one thought about your history can you change from a victim thought to a heroine thought? What one perfectionistic belief can you safely look at this week?

Embracing your imperfections can open the door to your super powers.

Are you ready to walk into your super power? Email me, and let’s begin a conversation to get you started on the road to proving your worth to yourself by unlocking your super power.

oxoxoLinda

As a certified Life Coach, I help you to help yourself, so you can create a well lived life your way. 

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