Every Time Your Heart is Broken,
A Doorway Cracks Open to a World Full of New Beginnings
and New Opportunities.
You Just Don’t Know it Yet.Patti Roberts
How does the broken heart heal?
I have been thinking about the broken hearted, people who have had loved ones move on and out of their lives.
People who have experienced set backs and knock downs. Disappointments that kicked so hard the centre of their world has shifted.
It seems like the whole world is against you, that every thing you do is twisted and used against you.
You feel small and alone, vulnerable. Like no-one cares.
You feel weary to your core, so tired that putting one foot in front of the other is a chore.
Your heart has been ripped out and a slab of stone has replaced it.
Every thing you know to be true has shifted, and you feel lost, unsure, your confidence has been shaken and evaporated like a puddle of water on a hot day.
Your tears fall in seemingly endless streams, your heart feels like it will never heal. You sob until you can sob no more, then anger sets in, you are so mad. Mad at god, mad at partners, mad at family, mad at kids, mad at the car service man. Your anger runs deep and frighteningly heavy.
Broken hearts do mend.
I know how easy it is to want to erect walls around your heart to protect yourself from harm ever again. If you are like me, you will promise that you will never allow yourself to be in this position again.
I’ll tell you a story that a wise woman once told me. I went through a life shattering event in my life. This event had it’s fingers in every area of my life. There was nothing that was untouched. My heart broke. My dreams squashed like bugs on the windscreen. People I thought were friends, were not. I felt alone, ashamed and embarrassed. My life had been sucked right out of me.
Only it wasn’t, I was still breathing, I was still moving, I still had people who depended on me.
I felt I had to hold everything together, even in the face of financial hardship, emotional abandonment, family disdain and rejection.
My heart was so broken that I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t think, I barely breathed. Trying to hold onto the shards of the life I’d worked so hard to create to watch it crumble to dust and be blown away.
Eventually I reached out for help. It’s amazing who rallies around you when you are broken hearted, this wise woman answered a question I posed one day. I still hadn’t wept, it was all bottled up in my broken heart. I felt that if I let the door open even a little, the dam would break and I’d be washed away. Never to be seen again.
On this particular day, I sat at the table, with the tissues sitting ominously in front of me, daring me to break the dam, and my inner resolve was, “No way, I don’t cry in front of others. ” I looked at this lady and asked, “How do I put my life back together like it was, when my life is like a mirror that has been shattered into a million pieces all over the floor.” ” I don’t even know if I can find all the pieces, and I don’t know where to begin.”
She reached out and took my hand, looked me in the face, and said, “Linda, you don’t put it back together, you create a new life. You take the bits you like and you leave the rest and build anew.”
This was the first time I’d let this concept sink in to my soul.
My heart was still broken, I was still running on empty, my emotions were still in lock down, I was still doing the necessary things to care (As well as I could) for those in my charge.
The only difference was now I had hope. I had the trickle of hope that I could put every thing together again, it wouldn’t be the same, but it would be.
I began to search for me. In the middle of this heart break, I had been told there was a part of me that could never be broken, a part of me that was essential to who I was. When I found her, she would be the beginning of a more authentic life.
I discovered that I was not broken, that from this heart ache, some of the best blessings emerged.
The fire cleansed me. Did I have a lot of emotional baggage? “Yes” and it is an ongoing journey.
Is there hope for you, who have a broken heart? “Yes”
Is the road to health easy? “No, however it is worth it”
Did my river of tears swallow me? “It felt like it at the time, and those tears also cleaned away a lot of the hurt.”
It is my desire for you if you are hurting, if your heart is breaking or has been broken, if you are facing disappointment, to hang on.
You are valuable, you have a story to tell that no-one else can tell, your story is the life line for another person going along a similar path as you.
Listen to the wise woman’s words, ” You can’t put yourself back together as you were, you have to create a new life.” Find the core of who you are, the piece of you that can never be broken and begin from there.
If you want help to find that core, and to build a new life, to heal your broken heart, and collect yourself from the disappointment, connect with me for coaching.
The grass is greener on the flip side, wings work better without heavy emotional baggage.
Lean into your authentic self, know you are not alone, you are not broken and you never have been.
xox Linda Codlin
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Find me on Facebook @authenticlivingwithlinda @lindacodlin25
Connect with me for a one on one coaching appointment.