People are the tools the Universe uses to smooth other people’s rough edges,
Love is the balm that heals all wounds.
Grace is the key that open hearts doors.
Power is staying in your business, when everyone is in everyone else’s business.
Hello, My Friends
Wisdom and truth through authenticity in everyday living.
Struggles make us stronger.
Life tends to give us the gifts that will bring out the best or the worst in us. And sometimes the worst looking gift brings out the best characteristics in us.
It does appear that I am growing into the next phase of my development. It seems like I have been tested for weeks. Apparently the Universe knows where I need fine tuning and has sent just the right influences to create a desire in me to hone my skills.
This past week I have had a number of things going on in the background of my life, which started to spill into my everyday. In the past, events and situations that I faced this week would have derailed me, and sent me into a self-doubting tail spin. Not so this week, I have the tools to create the life I want to live. As I coach myself, and learn to listen to and do, what my higher inner coach tells me to do, I am gaining so much more insight into who I am and who I have the power to become.
This is true for you to. You can learn how to coach yourself, and how to trust your higher inner coach that has only your best in mind for you.
This week I want to impress upon you the importance of ‘staying in your lane,’ or being mindful of keeping in ‘YOUR BUSINESS’.
I have shared this before, that there are three types of business.
God’s Business: This is the things we have no direct control over, things like world events, the weather, the political climate. Events that may affect us but that we have no way of changing it directly.
Their Business: This is the business of everyone else. Your spouse, your siblings, your work colleagues, your boss, the train driver, the coffee lady, your friends and acquaintances. What they do and say is their business and is a reflection of what is going on in their thoughts. You may be able to influence them or you may not, they are responsible for their thoughts and actions. By allowing them to be who they have chosen to be, and by allowing them to live in the manner they have chosen, even if you don’t agree, you set them free to live the life they want. You can not change any one else.
YOUR BUSINESS: This is the only business where you can make any changes, this is where your influence is. Whatever situation you may find yourself in, you have a choice in how you respond or react to it. You get to choose your attitude to it. Your business is the only place you have genuine power. You get to choose what you want to think and feel about anything and every thing. Your thoughts, create your beliefs, and your feelings, which create your actions, which determine your results.
It doesn’t matter what anyone says or does- if you don’t have a burr on the surface of your heart or mind, whatever is said or done won’t stick.
Have you ever rubbed a micro-fibre cloth over an improperly sanded piece of timber?
The cloth bunches up as it catches on the rough edges, often the cloth will leave specks of itself attached to the wood.
This is what it is like in our lives, when some-one makes a comment that rattles us a little, we give the comment mind time, feeding it and allowing it to grow until it becomes an irritation. We find we can’t ignore that comment any longer and make a defensive remark back.
The initial comment may have been valid or it may not be valid.
The second the comment was given any thought,- the cloth was being scraped over the un-sanded piece of wood, leaving specks of thread behind. The comment has had an impact and left a mark on your mind and emotions.
This is a good thing, and here’s why, this gives us the opportunity to see areas in which we have the potential to become better, to choose a higher way of responding.
When an area or issue in our lives, has been through the sander, it will have been sanded with varying grades of sand paper, depending on the roughness of our prickly edges, making them smoother. As we become smooth, the barbs that others throw at us have nothing to stick to and slide off, we have healed the wound that was allowing the hurt in.
As we learn to remain in our lane, or in our business and out of other people’s business, we learn to see that the only person we can directly change and influence is ourselves.
All actions and reactions begin with a thought.
When a comment is made, we get to make a decision about what we will think, if anything, about the comment. When the comment doesn’t produce an emotional response we know our edges are smooth on this plane.
The comments made by others are tools for us to engage in awareness. We hear the comment, acknowledge it, register the context in which it is being said, we get to notice the body language of the person speaking, and the hidden cues that go with the comment.
The comment is coming from their business, it is their opinion, their viewpoint and as such says so much about them.
When the comment triggers you, it has moved into your business.
Once in your business you get to choose how you will think and respond to it.
One way I have found to help me deal with these triggers is to write them out on paper.
Write all the thoughts you are having about the comment, the body language at the time of the comment, the way the person said it, all your perceptions of how the comment came across to you. What you are thinking, the emotion you are feeling, and where in your body you are feeling the sensation.
Write it all out onto the paper.
Using paper and pen allows you space to think, it gives you room to process and then it gives you time to look at what you have written, reading it with objectivity. Which allows you to decide if it is helpful or not and what to do about it.
If the comment is valid and is touching an exposed nerve, there is more investigating required, and deeper thought work needed to uncover the hidden belief allowing this nerve to be exposed.
This is where coaching and mentorship is so valuable and important. People on the outside are usually unbiased and can see more clearly the issues that you are unable to identify because you are too close to them.
When the wood is smooth, the cloth glides over it smoothly and nothing catches, so it is when there is nothing to be offended over, the words slide on past without you noticing, the conversation continues.
Staying in your business, gives you the power to investigate the rough edges of your thoughts, emotions and hurts, once these are healed, you have the ability to love and support others on their journey.
Until Next time.
Are you wanting to learn more about staying in ‘your business’, and how to identify and rectify specific triggers that may be continually tripping you up.
Email me at email@example.com
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Connect with me for a one on one coaching appointment.