Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
“What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
C S Lewis
Hello, My Friends.
This week has been an interesting one for me. I was called on to do my civic duty and put myself forward to be a juror if I was called on. Some could say I have had a sheltered life, I prefer to think I have had a law abiding life. Any way this was my first visit in a court room, I found it interesting, even if I didn’t get to be a juror this time. I met some interesting people from all walks of life, giving evidence to how very different we all are, and yet how very similar we all are.
It is reassuring to know we are not alone when we feel, de-motivated and anxious, tired or grumpy. These are emotions everyone has at some point in their lives, the secret to living a life of fulfillment and purpose, filled with love and achievement is not to stay in the blah place, or the overwhelmed space. The secret is to learn how to move yourself forward to a spot that feels a little better. That creates forward momentum from a place of self love and self respect.
The energy with which we achieve anything, is the energy that we will attract more of the same. So if we pursue our goals and dreams from the place of lack and scarcity, running away from the stick, we will attract more things to run away from, even if we manage to create some form of success, it will have the feeling of hollowness and dissatisfaction attached to it.
If we create our dreams and goals with the energy of love, forgiveness, peace, abundance and gratitude we will receive much of the same. Have you ever heard someone say of the wealthy, “They have more money than they can spend in a life time, and they are still unhappy.” “Money doesn’t make you happy.” Have you seen also someone who doesn’t have money, wishing they had it and not being happy with the life have they got.
On the flip side have you seen wealthy people who have money, who are very happy, generous and kind. And people who don’t have a lot of money who are just as happy, generous and kind. I could almost guarantee that it has something to do with their attitude, their self belief and abundance mindset.
I’ve been thinking about motivation, and why some people are able to cajole themselves into doing the things that need doing, even when they don’t want to. What is the reward they get from doing it? Where does that inner motivation come from and how do we find it for ourselves if it isn’t readily on hand?
Like I mentioned last week it has to do with our desires and needs. Our core values are what drive us. We can use our values as a whip or a reward. The whip has the negative connotation of pain, and negative consequences dealt out by someone else, or the internal judge and jury we have living in our minds. The reward on the other hand has the inbuilt vibe of pleasure, and positive consequences, either from someone outside of us or within our own minds.
Every thing we do, we do for a feeling. We always move towards the feeling. Even when it may not be the healthiest place for us to be. For example you may want the feeling of connection, which is one of our basic needs. Depending on how you were raised and the ‘programmes’ you collected from your childhood, these will determine how you go about seeking this connection. If you came from an environment where beatings were your normal, you will feel that it’s okay to let someone hit you, or for you to hit others as a way of showing affection. You may even seek this relationship, without being aware of it, as it’s your comfortable place. If you’ve ever asked yourself, ‘Why do I let him or her treat me like this?” The answer will be in your subconscious values, and the way you see yourself. I’m here to tell you, there is a way out, to get the connection you desire without the harmful emotional effects.
If you came from a family where the normal was to speak with respect to each other and your views were valued and listened to, most likely you would expect nothing less, and should you find yourself in a place where you are not valued and respected, you would find it easier to speak up and take action to get the connection you are seeking in safer and healthier ways. Because your expectations and values are higher you would attract and receive the connection you desire. The reason for this is also in your subconscious values, and the way you see yourself.
What if these subconscious values were the trigger for our motivation? If you knew you could change them, would you? Would you want to find an easier way to get motivated and stay motivated for longer? And should your motivation waver, wouldn’t you want to have the handy tool to crank it up and get your wheels moving again more easily than you do now?
If your motivation were running high, imagine what you could do in, and for your life. You could create more with less effort.
It takes courage to identify the values that are preventing you from getting the life you want, the love and connection that you want. If you have that courage, and want to live a life of ease, if you are prepared to put in some work now, to have the easy flow that motivation brings email me, for a coaching session, together we can create the values you want to live your life by.
Motivation is an inside job. It lives inside each one of us, and needs to be drawn out and nurtured, and when it blossoms everything changes.
My challenge for you this week is to look at your motives for what you do. Are they coming from fear, lack and scarcity, or are they coming from abundance, generosity and love.
Until next Week, investigate who you really are and who you really want to be. Live you most authentic life.
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Certified Life Coach
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