CLARITY comes from knowing what you WANT and from moving in the direction of it.
Your soul is guiding and supporting you every stp of the way.
Quote by Sue Krebs Photograph by Karina Lago -unsplash.com
Hello, My friends.
A couple of weeks ago we went from being a two car family, to a single car family. My reasoning was now that I’m working from home I don’t need the car so much. Until last week, when everyday I had an outside the house appointment. I learned more new things about the city bus timetables, drop off and pick up points. The greatest inconvenience for me was, all the waiting time. In the car you drive to your appointment, when finished you drive home. On the bus, I had to walk to the bus stop. (I only just made it, The kind driver waited the few seconds for me to hustle aboard.) It took 30 mins longer to get home, although I did get to see sights I haven’t seen before.
This week I’m visiting my daughter and her three children, without a car. Oh my goodness! Five hours! On a bus, when it usually takes about 3 hours in the car. I did enjoy the privilege of being able to study while travelling, and the stress free environment. I have taken the privilege of owning a car for granted, I’ve always just packed the car and left for whatever my destination was.
I have a new found respect for people who travel using public transport. I also have a new way of viewing the world that until a few weeks ago never occurred to me.
That’s the thing about blind spots, we don’t know we have them until we are exposed to something or someone who reveals them to us.
This week I want to talk about Clarity.
Especially when it comes to our goals, and wants.
Let’s take a little detour and clarify what I mean when I talk about goals and wants.
Goals can be long term or short term, they can be personal, professional, financial, spiritual, relationship orientated. A goal is a desired result you want in your life. It is something you aim to be or do or have, or somewhere you aim to go to.
A want is something you don’t have in your life now, it is something you would like to have, be or do in your life.
A want is personal to you. No -one can tell you want you want. You get to choose what it is you want. You get to make that choice for yourself. There’s only one thing about your want, and that is you have to like your reason your wanting it (and as a sub clause, that it won’t cause harm to anyone else.) Think about this for a minute, what do you really want, no apologies, no excuses, no justifications. You want it because you want it. It can be anything from the car you drive, to the body you live in, to the house you want, to the clothes and style you wear. It can be the coffee you drink, the jewelry you wear, the colour and style of your hair. Maybe your want is to travel the world. You get to want what you want just because.
Back to clarity. When you don’t have clarity you often live in confusion, not knowing what you want, or not being able to make a decision between two choices. Confusion leads you to inaction. Confusion keeps you in the place of paralysis, stuck like a possom in the head lights of a car, not being able to make a decision to move one way or the other.
What blocks you from having clarity?
Not knowing what you want. Do you know what you want?
What is it that you desire? The thing that burns in your belly. The desire that frightens and excites you at the same time.
The word desire means of the sire, or of the father. It is something deep inside you seeking to come out. The Universe wants to experience that desire through you, You are the vessel to fulfill that desire, no-one else can do it, it is designed for you and only you. When you make peace with your desires you can move into creating them.
One of the blocks to having clarity of your desire is that you judge what you want.
Have you ever said or thought, “I can’t do this, I’m no good at…..” You Judge your want as good or bad according to someone else’s value system. Maybe you believe that because your life is good now you shouldn’t want more. You wouldn’t want your desire if you weren’t meant for it. We are here to grow and to extend our lives, to become more than we are now. You get to want what you want, you must like why you want it. Ask yourself the question? Why do I desire this…… ? Write down the answer, then ask the same question again? Drill down till you find your true reason for wanting your desire? You must like your reason why. No apology or No judgement, Be at peace with why you want what you want.
The second block to having the clarity of your desire is that you fear other people will judge you for what you want.
I’ll let you into a little secret. People are always judging you and me. (What other people think about you is none of your business.) Some-one, somewhere has an opinion on your life. They don’t get to live your life or to feel your regret if you don’t follow your desire. They’re going to judge anyway, whether you do or whether you don’t follow your desire. So you might as well do what you really want. No apology, no judgement, no regret.
The third block to your gaining the clarity of your desire is that you think your dreams and desires are not possible.
Being the person you are today, and the way you think today- it’s not possible. You need to ask. Who do I need to become to achieve this dream/desire? What skills, new ways of thinking, and being, do I need, to become the person of my desires?
TO CREATE WHAT YOU’VE NEVER HAD: YOU HAVE TO BECOME SOME-ONE YOU’VE NEVER BEEN.
One way to do this is to play a game with yourself. Imagine you are nearing the end of your life, you have followed your dream and lived the desires you now want. Ask yourself who you had to become to achieve your desire. Listen to the answer and write it down. Begin to live it, practice it, continue to ask questions of your future self. Feel how it feels to have your desire.
Believe what you want- Practice how it feels to have it already. Look to your future, think about how you would need to think to achieve your desire, it is possible, as you grow and change you will find your belief becomes stronger and your desire becomes reality.
The fourth block preventing you from achieving clarity is you want everything at once.
When you want it all now you split your energy and end up taking very little action on any of your desires. Write down all the things you want to have, be and do. (I will cover this in more detail at a later date.) Then choose one desire to make your goal for this year, (or the rest of this year.) Choose the desire that excites you the most. Focus your energy on this one thing.
Now, some of you may be concerned that you have chosen the wrong thing, and it won’t make you happy. Another little life secret, Happiness is an inside job, you carry it with you all the time, you need to learn to tap into it whenever you want to. Your feelings are dependent on what you think.
So choose a desire, make a decision, and commit to it. Then begin, research what you need to know, make a list of actions, be super specific, break every area into it’s smallest part. Ask yourself. How will I know that I’ve achieved it? Become very focused.
The fifth and final block is asking, How am I going to do it?
How is a question that produces overwhelm. You will know how when you have the result you desire. How is none of your business. Live in the What? and the why? Dwell on these questions. What do I need to do next? Who do I need to become to do this next step? Why? Remember your true why and use it as motivation to move forward.
You will face obstacles, be prepared for them, they are here to help you grow and learn what doesn’t work so you can find what does work. Keep taking inspired action, keep asking your future self for advice, Listen to your body, How does your body feel, and react. Learn to identify that excitement that leads you forward.
Clarity is yours. Ask the right questions and the best answers will follow. Ask yourself what it is you really, really, really want, and have wanted for as long as you can remember. Find your deepest why, the why that ignites your fire, and begin the journey to a life of passion and fulfillment.
Until next time, Be your most authentic self.
Linda Codlin.