Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed.
Happiness is a spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.
Hello, My friends.
I trust your week of home confinement has been profitable. That all those in your bubble are safe.
With the promise of moving into level 3 this week there is a charge of anticipation in the air. Please continue to be safe and careful.
This week I thought I would start with a little Who am I quiz?
Who am I?
I am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
I am completely at your command. Half the things you do you might just as well turn over to me and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly. I am easily managed – you merely must be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons I will do it automatically.
I am the servant of all great men, and also of all failures as well. Those who are great I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures. I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a man.
You may run me for profit or run me for ruin – it makes no difference to me. Take me, Train me, be firm with me and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me, and I will destroy you.
Who am I?
I came across this ‘quote’ while planning for this weeks blog. Can you guess Who/ What it is? I’ll let you know at the end of this post.
As far back as I can remember I have been trained, taught the ‘essentials’ of life. According to my parents, school teachers, church leaders, and grandparents. I was trained in all subtlety, (and some not so subtle ways) not to question or answer back. I learned early on that it wasn’t worth the pain. So I swallowed whatever I was told as fact and truth. It never occurred to me to question or challenge the things I’d been taught.
Things like I’m not good at maths, good girls sit quietly and do as they’re told, children are to be seen and not heard. At school, speaking in front of the class was excruciating for a shy girl, being told not sing with the choir because my voice didn’t sound like everyone else’s, and all good things come to those who wait.
What things were you told as a youngster? Were you feed the line of ‘why can’t you be more like your brother/sister?’ ‘You never sit still.’ ‘You are such a naughty girl/boy.’ ‘If there’s trouble brewing you’re always in the middle of it.’ ‘I wish you would do as you’re told.’ ‘You’ll never be pretty, thin, good enough.’ or any version of these seemingly harmless statements. As children we absorb all these comments as truth. Generally the people saying these words are people who are the greatest influence in our young lives. Now I’m suggesting we go on a witch hunt, I believe these people were trying to do the best they could with what they knew to do. They were trying to train and teach us to be responsible people. For me and I suspect for a few of you reading this, that wasn’t the lesson that was taken on board.
These unwritten lessons have guided our lives. Have you ever said, “Tomorrow morning I’m getting up early and I’m going to run around the block.” or “I’m going to start my diet tomorrow.” or “I’m tidying my house, and then I’m going to keep that way.” or “I’m going to apply for that job.” or “I’ll ask her out for a coffee.” or “I’ll study for that exam tomorrow.”
These are all good intentions, did you maintain it for very long? Did you follow through with your intention?
The reason that New Year’s resolutions don’t work is that changing the behaviour doesn’t change the belief that created the unwanted behaviour in the first place.
As very young children our brains don’t have a filter, so everything our significant people say and do slips directly into our subconscious mind, we have no way of telling whether the input is true or false. This is why children have some of the characteristics of their parents, without being aware, we copy and emulate them. As we grow we learn about our senses and we learn to decipher when someone is pulling our leg, and that Father Christmas isn’t real. However the lessons we have learned are embedded in our brains and manipulate our behaviours.
What I want us to look at today is the programmes that drive our habits.
I’ll use the diet scenario, you know what you can and can’t eat. (This is another whole topic, for another time.) but you just can’t resist the cake on the bench, or you’re limiting the amount you are drinking, but can’t bypass the glass of wine. You beat yourself up for having no willpower. You call yourself all sorts of names and promise that you’ll work out harder, or eat even less tomorrow to compensate. And you may succeed, but are you happy? Usually we drive ourselves from a place of fear. Fear that the weight will return, that everyone around you will see the fraud you are. Fear that the success won’t last.
These are the behaviours that are driven by those unconscious programmes, ticking over quietly in the back ground. The thoughts that stop you from trying out for the basketball team, going for the promotion as supervisor, or manager, asking the girl out for coffee, maintaining a clutter free home, or doing well in your exam.
To change these incidious programmes you need to discover that they are there. Most of us are oblivious to the thoughts that we think. We continue on in our lives not looking at what we are doing and why.
As the quote above referred to, they are your constant companions, they can either make you or break you, push you forward into success or restrain you and lead you to failure. If you take the time to discover what you’re thinking, you can use this servant to create what ever you want, if you give it instruction and direction it will work for you. Train your thoughts, think on purpose, take the more difficult road and let your thoughts create momentum for you. If left unattended thoughts will take the easy road to failure, despair, and destruction.
Who am I? I am thought.
Becoming a good thinker is a discipline, which can be refined and cultivated.
- Find a place to think your thoughts.- It will attract good thoughts, possibly one good thought a day. Capture your thoughts. Write them down.
- Find a place to shape your thoughts. – Question your thoughts, clarify and scrutinize them until they have substance.
- Learning to write your thought/ideas is learning to gain clarity. You don’t know anything clearly unless you can state it in writing.
- Find a place to stretch your thoughts and ideas. Allow your thoughts to breathe. A man always has two reasons for doing anything, a good reason and the real reason. Sit with your thought and find the real reason.
- Find a place to land your thoughts and ideas. Land your thoughts within yourself. This gives you integrity. A) Do you believe the thought? B) Do you live the thought? C) Do I believe others should live it? If you answer yes to all three questions your thought/idea has landed.
- Find a place for your thoughts and ideas to fly.- A good idea is like a wheelbarrow, it will go nowhere unless you push it. timing is important to. “The right thought plus the right people in the right environment at the right time, for the right reason will give the right result.” John C. Maxwell
Develop the discipline of good thinking, explore, question, and challenge your thoughts, and turn it into a lifetime habit, and you will become more productive thorough-out your life.
Remember you are a creative being.
Thoughts create feelings, Feelings create habits, habits create a well lived life. Everything we do, we do for a feeling. Create that feeling on purpose.
Until next time, Live your most authentic live.
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