Are opposites inseparable?

Pleasure and Pain, though directly opposite are contrived to be constant companions. -Pierre Charron

Hello My friends,

The kitchen upgrade is ongoing, this week my hubby has been busy putting up plaster board and plastering the joins, framing doorways and painting timber. There is one thing I know about myself, living in a messy and cluttered environment stresses me out.

The way I live on the outside, tends to reflect the way I’m feeling on the inside. Having the kitchen dismantled with benches and cupboards distributed in the lounge and dining area are not helping our household run smoothly. Being people of habit, we continue to look for the toaster and the fridge where they were before we moved them, increasing our frustration.

With all this upheaval in our home, it got me thinking about pleasure and pain, and how we don’t seem to be able to have one without the other.

I want the pleasure of a new kitchen, however to get it I have to go through the pain of change and going without the organisation I am accustomed to.

The question for me is;

“Do I run to pleasure and away from pain?” Or “Do I run head on into pain knowing that there will be pleasure on the other side of the pain?”

What is a healthy definition of pain and pleasure? Pain: An unpleasant sensation that can range from mild, localized discomfort to agony, Pain has both physical and emotional components. Pleasure: The agreeable feeling that accompanies getting something good or much wanted. A feeling of happiness or satisfaction.

What is my definition of pain and pleasure? Pain is often something I have to go through to get the pleasure, happiness and joy of the thing I want.

What is your definition of pleasure and pain?

Is our behaviour predetermined, or can we change the way we respond?

I believe we always have a choice. We can choose the thoughts we think, which create the way we feel, which determine the way we respond or react to any situation, which creates our reality by the actions we take.

Pleasure verses Pain

Rewards verses Bribes, The carrot and the stick scenario. The story is told of a farmer who wanted his donkey to carry his load of produce to the market. The donkey being stubborn had stopped on the track and wouldn’t budge. The farmer found a stick on the road side and whipped the donkey, yelling at it to move. The donkey stood stead fast. The farmers neighbour came past, seeing the farmers dilemma, he suggested the farmer use a carrot on a stick, hung over the donkeys nose. The donkey lurched forward to get the carrot, moving quickly to market, the farmer rewarded the donkey with the carrot.

Fear verses Love,

How much of our lives are lived in fear?

The fear of failing, the fear of actually succeeding, the fear of change, the fear of the unknown, the fear of rejection, the fear of being accepted, or the fear of not being good enough. So much fear!

How much of our lives are lived from a place of love?

The love of failing, the love of succeeding, the love of change, the love of the unknown and excitement, the love of rejection, the love of being accepted and acceptable, the love of yourself and everything that encompasses you.

Can we choose one over the other? When I conquer the fear of failing, by embracing failure as the learning curve it is, then I can enjoy the reward of the success that learning and changing produce. I can love failing, for the benefit it gives me in moving ahead to become the person and business woman I’m aiming at.

On the flip side of each perceived negative is a tremendous positive. By learning to embrace the pain of the negative emotion or behaviour, we get to enjoy the financial success, the friendship, the romance or the fulfillment of the dream.

As I’m travelling along this journey of self discovery, I’m in an uncharted land, where the land marks are completely different to anything I’ve done or who I’ve been before. I’m finding the fear of the pain of stepping into the unknown is in my head. The thoughts I think about what could happen, are worse than the pain of what actually happens as I follow my inner tuition and step into the unknown, talk to people I don’t know, write papers I’ve never done before. The thoughts from my past are not useful for the growth of who I want to be.

Is there something you want to pursue? What is your big dream?

What is stopping you from taking the steps that need to be taken?

Is it the pain of the unknown, or the fear of failing?

What would happen if you followed your little voice, the one that knows what you need to do?

You can change the messages from your past, by looking at what you think is going to happen when you step into the pain. Emotions are just thought signals, vibrations sent from your brain, that it perceives danger, You don’t have to act on an emotion, you can let it sit in your body, calm it down and choose a better thought to give a better emotion, that will allow you to take the next action step into your future dream, today.

Pleasure and pain, though directly opposite are contrived to be constant companions. -Pierre Charron

I am choosing to run into the pain to get to the pleasure on the other side. What about you? Do you run towards the pain to get the pleasure? or Do you run away from the pain forgoing the future pleasure?

This week investigate the way you look at pleasure and pain in relation to your BIG dream.

Until next week, live your best authentic life.

Linda Codlin

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