From the Outside In.

Hello, My friends.

This week our little family increased by three. Mrs Piggy, our tri-colour guinea pig. Who is predominately tan with white swatches on her head and back, her hind quarters have black splotches on them, had her babies. She has been in maternity lock down for the last few weeks. She had three perfect little piggies, each with their own individual markings. One tan and white, the next black with a little tuft of white on the top of it’s head, and the third black and white with one swatch of tan on it’s side. Mr Hubby is in his element taking care of everyone.

This week I wanted to talk about our outside life being a reflection of our inside life.

Have you ever gone walking around the block, looking at and admiring people’s gardens? We’ve been doing a lot of that lately. What I’ve noticed is, that some gardens are always immaculate, the lawns are always mown with the edges trimmed, the gardens are generally well kept. Then there are other properties that have lawns high enough to loose a small animal in, the gardens are over grown, sometimes there are cars parked on the lawn, covered with tarpaulin, some gardens are children playgrounds with bikes, scooters and trampolines on the lawn. Each of these gardens says something about the person living in the property.

What about your car? What does that say about you? Do you drive the latest model, four wheel drive? or is your vehicle a more modest one, that is looking dated and a little faded? I’m not actually talking about the age or type of vehicle you drive, although that does say something about who you are, I want to ask you. Is the vehicle of your choice clean? Do you wash and wax it every now and then? or Is it a drive and leave kind of vehicle, that gets you from A to B and back, but you don’t really spend any time on it? What about the inside of your vehicle, does it have fast food wrapping, drink bottles, papers, candy wrappers, children’s clothes and shoes, your work bag, the fishing gear, the dog’s play toys strewn around on the floor or all over the seats? Do you have to clear off the front seat for some-one to sit in it? Do you apologize for the mess, when someone gets into the car? The way a vehicle is maintained says something about the owner of the vehicle.

What about your dress code? Do you have a dress code? Did you choose your clothes intentionally? Do you have a look that you style for yourself? Or Do you throw on the first thing you come across? Are your clothes clean and well maintained? What about your personal care, do you shower every day? Do you shave and groom yourself with intention? The way you look and wear your clothes, the posture you have and the way you move all tell a story about what you believe about yourself and how well you are prepared to be treated.

What about your home? Or your bedroom? Do you have a lot of things in your home that remind you of a time you’d rather forget? Are all your surfaces covered with papers and trinkets that somehow just appeared? Do you have books that have never been read and are not likely to be read, taking up valuable space on your shelves? Have you planned the way you want your home to feel? Do have other peoples stuff cluttering your home? Do you just wish you had more space? The things you surround yourself with tell stories about who you are. What are the things that surround you, say about you?

Our outside lives: Everything in our environment, tells something about us.

What you think on the inside shows up on the outside? If you’re feeling tired and down, your personal care will show it, your demeanour will show it, how you speak will show it. If you’re hurried, and don’t have the time, you don’t take the few minutes to put away the laundry, cook dinner, or clear away the dishes. If you’re worried or stressed you don’t take the time to care for yourself, your home, your garden or your vehicle.

I have good news, you can take baby steps to make a difference in your environment. Which will have an effect on the way you think and act in your life.

For those of you who have never used a planner, begin with the back of an envelope or a sheet of paper. If you have a planner, dust it off. I want you to choose one area of your life today, that you can begin on. Ask yourself the question. What area would have the biggest impact on you from the inside? What is the area of your life that every time you walk past it, it growls at you inside your head? The one area that irritates you everyday?

Write this down on your paper. Ask yourself. What about this area frustrates me? Write it down. What will it take to tidy it up and keep it tidy? Set aside a little time regularly to begin clearing the area. Work in small increments to prevent overwhelm. Say 30 minutes at a time. When the time is up tidy everything away, put the rubbish in the rubbish bin, put each item away where it lives. If it doesn’t have a home, give it one, and ensure it always goes home after it’s been used. Donate or sell the extra items you don’t need.

To show you what I mean, I’ll use my freezer top as an example. This area irritates me in that it is a dumping ground for junk mail, hand bags, books, papers, and work gear. Almost anything that comes through the door gets put here. I decided I wanted this area to remain clutter free at all times. To begin with I cleared all the stuff off the top, putting it all in a basket. I sorted it according to type. To prevent it from accumulating again I had to figure out a place where each item could live permanently. My work bag I put a hook in the hallway and relocated it there. I also decided that would be a good place for my hand bag. The car keys I made a designated bowl to put them in every-time I came home, this way I knew where they were quickly and easily. The paper stuff wasn’t so easy, it took a few attempts to retrain myself to put them in the file tray I had created on the bookshelf beside the table. The books went where I would use them, library books have a specific place on the bookshelf, I want to be able to find them easily when I need to read them or return them. My goal was to create a place for every-thing and to make it easy for me to put every-thing back in it’s place.

I want for you to find the ease and elegance that living in a tidy and organised environment can have on you on the inside, how it creates a pocket of space for you to breathe and relax a little, it gives you room to think.

I’m all about creating a better life by creating better thoughts, and better thoughts create better actions, By creating better actions we create better habits which starts the cycle again. This week I would encourage you to choose one area in your life, whether it is personal care, your vehicle, your garden, your home, your bedroom to begin to try it for yourself, to see the benefit in making space for your thoughts by creating space in your environment.

Till next week, Live your best authentic life.

Linda Codlin

If you have found this helpful head over to facebook @lindacodlin25 and leave me a comment.

Who is the servant of all men?

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed.

Happiness is a spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.

Dennis Waitley

Hello, My friends.

I trust your week of home confinement has been profitable. That all those in your bubble are safe.

With the promise of moving into level 3 this week there is a charge of anticipation in the air. Please continue to be safe and careful.

This week I thought I would start with a little Who am I quiz?

Who am I?

I am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.

I am completely at your command. Half the things you do you might just as well turn over to me and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly. I am easily managed – you merely must be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons I will do it automatically.

I am the servant of all great men, and also of all failures as well. Those who are great I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures. I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a man.

You may run me for profit or run me for ruin – it makes no difference to me. Take me, Train me, be firm with me and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me, and I will destroy you.

Who am I?

I came across this ‘quote’ while planning for this weeks blog. Can you guess Who/ What it is? I’ll let you know at the end of this post.

As far back as I can remember I have been trained, taught the ‘essentials’ of life. According to my parents, school teachers, church leaders, and grandparents. I was trained in all subtlety, (and some not so subtle ways) not to question or answer back. I learned early on that it wasn’t worth the pain. So I swallowed whatever I was told as fact and truth. It never occurred to me to question or challenge the things I’d been taught.

Things like I’m not good at maths, good girls sit quietly and do as they’re told, children are to be seen and not heard. At school, speaking in front of the class was excruciating for a shy girl, being told not sing with the choir because my voice didn’t sound like everyone else’s, and all good things come to those who wait.

What things were you told as a youngster? Were you feed the line of ‘why can’t you be more like your brother/sister?’ ‘You never sit still.’ ‘You are such a naughty girl/boy.’ ‘If there’s trouble brewing you’re always in the middle of it.’ ‘I wish you would do as you’re told.’ ‘You’ll never be pretty, thin, good enough.’ or any version of these seemingly harmless statements. As children we absorb all these comments as truth. Generally the people saying these words are people who are the greatest influence in our young lives. Now I’m suggesting we go on a witch hunt, I believe these people were trying to do the best they could with what they knew to do. They were trying to train and teach us to be responsible people. For me and I suspect for a few of you reading this, that wasn’t the lesson that was taken on board.

These unwritten lessons have guided our lives. Have you ever said, “Tomorrow morning I’m getting up early and I’m going to run around the block.” or “I’m going to start my diet tomorrow.” or “I’m tidying my house, and then I’m going to keep that way.” or “I’m going to apply for that job.” or “I’ll ask her out for a coffee.” or “I’ll study for that exam tomorrow.”

These are all good intentions, did you maintain it for very long? Did you follow through with your intention?

The reason that New Year’s resolutions don’t work is that changing the behaviour doesn’t change the belief that created the unwanted behaviour in the first place.

As very young children our brains don’t have a filter, so everything our significant people say and do slips directly into our subconscious mind, we have no way of telling whether the input is true or false. This is why children have some of the characteristics of their parents, without being aware, we copy and emulate them. As we grow we learn about our senses and we learn to decipher when someone is pulling our leg, and that Father Christmas isn’t real. However the lessons we have learned are embedded in our brains and manipulate our behaviours.

What I want us to look at today is the programmes that drive our habits.

I’ll use the diet scenario, you know what you can and can’t eat. (This is another whole topic, for another time.) but you just can’t resist the cake on the bench, or you’re limiting the amount you are drinking, but can’t bypass the glass of wine. You beat yourself up for having no willpower. You call yourself all sorts of names and promise that you’ll work out harder, or eat even less tomorrow to compensate. And you may succeed, but are you happy? Usually we drive ourselves from a place of fear. Fear that the weight will return, that everyone around you will see the fraud you are. Fear that the success won’t last.

These are the behaviours that are driven by those unconscious programmes, ticking over quietly in the back ground. The thoughts that stop you from trying out for the basketball team, going for the promotion as supervisor, or manager, asking the girl out for coffee, maintaining a clutter free home, or doing well in your exam.

To change these incidious programmes you need to discover that they are there. Most of us are oblivious to the thoughts that we think. We continue on in our lives not looking at what we are doing and why.

As the quote above referred to, they are your constant companions, they can either make you or break you, push you forward into success or restrain you and lead you to failure. If you take the time to discover what you’re thinking, you can use this servant to create what ever you want, if you give it instruction and direction it will work for you. Train your thoughts, think on purpose, take the more difficult road and let your thoughts create momentum for you. If left unattended thoughts will take the easy road to failure, despair, and destruction.

Who am I? I am thought.

Becoming a good thinker is a discipline, which can be refined and cultivated.

  1. Find a place to think your thoughts.- It will attract good thoughts, possibly one good thought a day. Capture your thoughts. Write them down.
  2. Find a place to shape your thoughts. – Question your thoughts, clarify and scrutinize them until they have substance.
  3. Learning to write your thought/ideas is learning to gain clarity. You don’t know anything clearly unless you can state it in writing.
  4. Find a place to stretch your thoughts and ideas. Allow your thoughts to breathe. A man always has two reasons for doing anything, a good reason and the real reason. Sit with your thought and find the real reason.
  5. Find a place to land your thoughts and ideas. Land your thoughts within yourself. This gives you integrity. A) Do you believe the thought? B) Do you live the thought? C) Do I believe others should live it? If you answer yes to all three questions your thought/idea has landed.
  6. Find a place for your thoughts and ideas to fly.- A good idea is like a wheelbarrow, it will go nowhere unless you push it. timing is important to. “The right thought plus the right people in the right environment at the right time, for the right reason will give the right result.” John C. Maxwell

Develop the discipline of good thinking, explore, question, and challenge your thoughts, and turn it into a lifetime habit, and you will become more productive thorough-out your life.

Remember you are a creative being.

Thoughts create feelings, Feelings create habits, habits create a well lived life. Everything we do, we do for a feeling. Create that feeling on purpose.

Until next time, Live your most authentic live.

Linda Codlin.

If you liked this post leave a message @lindacodlin25

The unwelcome guest.

We decide the path we take.

Hello, My friends,

This week, I would say has been an extremely long one. You know the kind. You have lots of things you could be doing but you don’t actually want to do any of it. That was me.

Procrastination had moved in, he had unpacked his bags, and was getting pretty settled, encouraging me to do the next cross word, scroll through the next Facebook, Instagram page. To go for a walk around the block, Watch a bit of television, Eat a packet of biscuits.

Now, I’m all for rest and relaxation, when it’s time for that, and I knew that this was not resting or relaxing time. I was getting more frustrated with myself, because I was getting less and less done.

Now I’m pretty much someone who will practice what she preaches. So true to form, I get my notebook out and begin to coach myself. Looking at the procrastination, asking myself, “What is the feeling driving my avoidance?” then with fascination exploring the thoughts that are driving those feelings, and what feeling I really want to feel.

I would love to say, procrastination packed his bags and left straight away. He didn’t. He loitered around in the shadows of my mind, watching to see if I really meant for him to leave.

Every-time I flagged a little he would pipe up reminding me that Facebook was much more fun than doing my study. Asking leading questions like, “Why do you work out, no-one can see you?” “What’s wrong with having another chocolate biscuit?” ” Getting your assignment in this week isn’t a big deal?” “Look at the mess in your office, you can’t work in there.”

I felt like he was badgering me.

Let me share with you how I dealt with this uninvited, overstaying guest.

  1. Determine what type of procrastination you are facing.

For me I have four main types of procrastination:

a) The perfectionistic variety. This goes along the lines of, “You can’t do this properly, you don’t have all the skills, why start when you can’t get it right the first time?”

b) The fear of failing or doing it wrong. This one holds hands with the perfectionist. “What if you get it wrong, or fail, you’ll look like a fool. You’ll make a mess of it, people will laugh at you. You’ll have to do it again, what a waste of time and energy.

C) The feeling of being overwhelmed with too much to do. This classic one looks around and informs in a derogatory voice, look how much you’ve got to do, you’ll never get it all done, why bother? No-one cares whether you do it or not.

d) My goals are not sufficiently defined, no clarity. This one tags long behind the feeling of being overwhelmed, stating it’s too hard, I don’t know where to start? The job’s to big, I’ll never get it done.

2. Grab a piece of paper or your journal book. Take an honest look at what you are avoiding, Ask yourself questions like:

a) When I procrastinate how do I feel? Angry, sad, victorious, industrious, demotivated.

b) What form of procrastination am I using today to sabotage what needs to get done?

c) What is the emotion behind the action of procrastination? Fear, shame, embarrassment, depression, lack.

d) Is this emotion serving me? Leading me to where I want to be? Who I want to be? What I want to achieve? Yes or No!

e) What are the thoughts behind this emotion? I can’t. I’m not good enough? I don’t know how? Are these thoughts moving you forward? yes or no!

f) What thoughts would create a better emotion? I can give it a go and if it doesn’t work out the first time, I have more information to try something else. I have everything I need to begin where I am. I can do this. What is the worst thing that can happen? I have what it takes to handle it?

3. Make a plan. Using the information you discovered about yourself in step 2. Build a strategy.

Perfectionism: Near enough is good enough. I will work on this for x amount of time then I will reread it and submit it for marking.

Failing: What do I know about this subject? What more do I need to research? Begin now, with what I have and the skills available, I will learn as I go. Failing is a step on the path to success. it is feedback on an area that needs improvement. I want to improve and succeed.

Overwhelmed: List everything I want to do. Decide what is the most important area and begin. Pick one item and stay with it until it is complete. Set the timer, Focus for the allotted time no distractions. Then move onto the next item marching on down the list.

Unclear goals: Go to the end, to the place where I have achieved the goal I want. Think about who I have to be. (To get something I’ve never had, I have to be someone I’ve never been.)What skills do I need? Who do I need to work with? How does the woman who has achieved my goal think? Then reverse engineer the steps. Create clarity. Make a decision, then do the next thing that needs doing, build on that with the next step. always keeping in mind the end goal of what I want to have, do or be.

4. Move. Action will chase procrastination away. Act on your strategies. Guard your mind, procrastination is a tricky deceiver, and will use your thoughts against you. Keep your focus on what you want, why you want it and the strategy you have to do it.

This is how procrastination was evicted from my mind this week.

Remember

Your thoughts create your emotions

Your emotions create your actions

Your actions create your habits

Your habits create your well lived life.

Every thing you do is to feel a certain emotion.

Create that emotion on purpose.

Until next time. Live your most authentic life.

Linda Codlin.

Life is an Echo

https://unsplash.com
Life is an echo
What you send out, comes back.
What you sow, you reap.
What you give, you get.
What you see in others, exists in you.
Do not judge, so you will not be judged.
Radiate and give love, and love will come back to you.

Hello, My friends.

We’re into the third week of lock down, hubby and I have arranged our schedules to suit each other, we are beginning to find our new normal, our lives are smoothing out into a new rhythm.

My desire for you is, that within the lock-down you’re finding a new space for you and your family to change and adapt. To create fun and find new ways of interacting with each other positively.

Today I want to share with you a little bit about the law of opposites.

Einstein is quoted as saying, “With every action there’s an equal opposite reaction…..”

The law of opposites can also be called the law of cause and effect. We cannot take a breath in without giving one away. We reap what we sow. What we give, we receive. What we perceive to be in others, is actually in ourselves. The measure that we judge some-one is the measure we’ll be judged with.

More opposites are; male and female, in and out, up and down (think gravity, what goes up must come down), chaos and calm, good and bad, right and wrong, war and peace, winter and summer.

This reminds me of Helen Steiner Rice’s Poem.

Live Lavishly  
Live Abundantly

The more you give, the more you get,
The more you laugh, the less you fret,
The more you do unselfishly, the more you live abundantly,
The more of everything you share, the more you'll always have to spare,
The more you love, the more you'll find,
That life is good and friends are kind,
For only what we give away, enriches us from day to day.

It is in the contrast that we learn to appreciate what we have.

How can we know the ecstasy of pure joy, if we’ve never felt the sting of pain?

Often it is in the darkest place that our character is forged, where we become the beacon of light that leads and guides others through the rocky seas, like a lighthouse standing strong on the shore, guiding the boats into safer waters or warning of the perils ahead, if course corrections are not made. Lighthouses don’t go running around looking for boats for save, they stand firm and by their very nature are beacons we trust to guide our way in the stormiest of days.

It is in the darkness that seeds are sown. What seeds are you sowing in your life and in the lives of those around you? The seeds of fear or love, chaos or calm, discord or unity, doubt or trust. The seeds that are sown at this time may not germinate for years, laying dormant in the fertile soils of your mind or the minds of those closest to you. Or the constant watering and exposure to the things that you are thinking, watching on the television, or social media may cause these seeds to germinate and sprout quickly. Are you choosing the things that will cause the positive to bear fruit in your lives. What you sow , then fertilise will grow to be the strongest and healthiest characteristic?

Are you sowing kindness, forgiveness, thankfulness, understanding, tolerance, thoughtfulness, peacefulness and harmony. These are some of the character traits that will make you a lighthouse in the dark hours. A sturdy rock that your family can lean on, when it seems that their lives are on shifting sands.

As a universal law, whatever you think, and do will have an effect. You will get back what you give out, choose the very best things to give away.

Love is one of the things that the more you give, especially in an attitude of wanting the best for the person you’re giving it to, the more it will return.

If by any chance you are lost in the cavern of anxiety and fear, reach out to those you know can help you. Set yourself small measurable goals, things like get out of bed, and make it, have a shower and get dressed into something pretty or stylish, brush your teeth. Then rest on the couch. Set your timer for 1 hour. When the timer goes off, get up and go for a walk, if you are unable to go outside, walk the length of your house. Then put on a load of washing, or wash a sink full of dishes. then rest on the couch, with your timer for another hour. Begin: every-time the timer goes off with one extra length or lap of your house, then choose one or two jobs to do, then rest again.

At the end of the day, look back over what you have achieved and give yourself a pat on the back, tell you yourself out loud I am good enough, look at what I did today. Then repeat again tomorrow.

One other thing I’d suggest is having a look at what it is you’re thinking and dwelling on that is making you feel anxious or fearful. Can you nudge that thought just a little bit to “I’m safe.” “Right now, where I am, I am okay.” “This too shall pass.” “I am good enough.”

Remember: It is never anything outside of you that is creating your feelings, it is always a thought in your head.

The thoughts you think, create the feelings that you feel, The feelings you’re feeling, create the actions or in-actions that you do or don’t do, these actions or in-actions determine the life that you live, whether your life is one of hardship and fear, or one of peace and love.

Everything we do, we do to gain a feeling, find out what that feeling is, and create it on purpose and your life will change for ever.

Life is an echo: What are you putting out?

Till next time. Be your most authentic self.

Linda Codlin

Distraction versus Freedom!

Be the reason someone smiles today.

Hello, My friends,

Week two for us in our little home. It has been an adjustment. We have had to re-arrange the way we do things to accommodate each other. Hubby is a very hands on type man, and now that he’s done as much as he can in the house he’s looking for other ways of keeping busy. I on the other hand am a book type person and I am quite content to read and journal, keep in touch with family and friends on social media. We have managed to find a happy compromise, and are settling into a new rhythm.

Just the other morning we were sitting on the deck, watching all the extra foot traffic, parents with their children, dogs and their owners, mum and dad strolling hand in hand. The cyclists out and about. Everyone was being safe and aware of who was around them. I watched the young girl over the road, lean over her fence to chat to the little child on the other side. Apparently, when we’ve been in lock-down, starved of other peoples company we seek a friendly voice and a new friendship begins.

What makes you happy?

Is it the things you have around you?

Is it your children, your significant other, your friends?

Is it the security of a well endowed bank account, a full pantry, fuel in the vehicle?

Are you happy with who you are?

During this lock-down time, you have more time to investigate what it is you enjoy in your life, or don’t enjoy in your life.

Do you eat to distract yourself from your thoughts? Do you eat because you’re bored? Do you eat to relieve tension between you and someone else in your bubble?

At this time it is difficult to use retail therapy as a distraction. What have you been using instead? Binge watching Television? Social media scrolling? Taking more regular trips to the supermarket for alcoholic beverages to numb the nagging pain inside?

What would happen if you sat for a couple of minutes and felt that nagging pain?

If the pain could talk what would it say to you?

Would it identify a hurt from your childhood? Or anger that you’re harbouring against your spouse, mother, father, brother, sister, for some wrong that was committed in the past? Would it identify an incidence that occurred, that was beyond your control but you got swept up in it, and you’re feeling sorrow and self pity for not being more?

This week was one of those weeks where I spent time thinking about “Who am I? Who do I really want to be? and What is stopping me from being her? I sat quietly contemplating the answer, when an incidence occurred that triggered an emotion I had buried some twenty odd years ago. Way back then, I found myself in a situation I had no control over, I was responsible in ways I’d never imagined I could have been. To cope, I took action and in the process I buried the emotions, deep, ensuring they would never emerge again. I didn’t want to feel the guilt and shame that came with the situation. I began eating and exercising to numb the pain.

I have learned there is fact and fiction in every story we tell ourselves about every event and situation we go through. In this event, the facts were, I had inadvertently set up a string of events that caused a lot of people a lot of pain.

It happened.

I can’t change it now. I am sorry for my part of creating this story.

The fiction is all the negative self talk that I have been telling myself, beating myself up with. Things like, “I told you, you were no good.” “You will never be good enough.” “You always hurt people.” and so on.

The consequence of these statements were self-loathing.

How could anyone love me?

How could I love myself?

These and many more negative thoughts and statements I had been making about myself were sabotaging me.

The new and better story I get to tell is, “I made a mistake, I set a series of events in motion by my action and inaction, I am unable to change that now. I choose to accept the situation as it is.” Now I can release the feelings of guilt and shame and begin the journey to inner peace and love.

My question to you is, What is holding you back? What if, by accepting the situation as it is without the emotional drama, could you forgive and heal those wounds? Could you see the facts- what happened, (as if in a court of law, without judgement or emotion)? Could you look objectively at your emotional response?

Could you identify the thoughts that were feeding that emotion? and Could you find a better thought to think about the facts?

Would you be willing to?

I can assure you that the feeling of freedom, is worth the discomfort of feeling the short term pain. Are you willing to feel the discomfort (Which is just energy moving about your body) to gain a healthier relationship with your self?

Remember:

Thoughts create Feelings

Feelings create Actions

Actions create Habits

Habits create a Well Lived Life.

You are not broken,

You have everything you need right now to become the best version of yourself.

Take a few minutes this week to Discover what thoughts you are thinking, and choose to think about something on purpose.

Ask yourself,

Who am I?

Who do I really want to be?

What do I want my life to look like?

Daydream, imagine and pretend.

Be the reason someone smiles this week.

Til next time, Be your most authentic self.

Linda Codlin

Seeds of Hope, Love and Trust.

One of the greatest of all principles is that men can do what they think they can do.

Norman Vincent Peale

Hello, My friends,

First up, I want to thank all those people who are providing essential services. “Thank You, without you the food and health services would be a complete shambles.”

My husband and I are in lock down, We can go outside to work, play in the garden. We can go for a walk, just the two of us within our neighbourhood, and we can purchase groceries. All other services are closed to us.

Our kitchen renovation has come to a standstill.

We have wallpapered and painted the adjoining laundry, installed the kitchen wall and bench units temporarily while we wait for the vinyl. Hubby rigged up the laundry tub in the kitchen so we have running water.

A lot of people are feeling lost, like they’re stuck in limbo.

Fear of the future gripping their hearts tightly.

Maybe that’s where you are, facing the uncertainty of not having work to return to, living each week payday to payday. Unsure of how the bills are going to be paid.

How does that make you feel? What if you decided for a few minutes that you want to feel better? What would you rather be feeling?

Peace? Hope? Love? Abundance?

These emotions are only a thought away.

Think of something that makes you laugh, what makes it funny to you? Can you hold that feel good emotion for a minute. Repeat this small action over and over, every time you feel like the situation is going to overwhelm you, go to that funny clip on Utube. Focus on the feeling you get from it.

Our mind is marvellous it can create whatever we want it to. Choose to create something you will be proud of. Did you know the brain cannot hold two thoughts at the same time. Therefore you cannot feel two emotions at the same time. By choosing to feel and focus on an emotion that feels better, you will be attracting to you more feel better emotions. By choosing better thoughts, you break the cycle of despair and give yourself time to tap into your creativity, which could come up with a positive solution to the situation you are in.

I have found when I follow the inner voice who guides me, I move in a direction that leads me to the things I really want in my life. Action strengthens my belief, which creates trust that I can change the path I am on, and that my inner voice is trustworthy.

Have you noticed how often you have conversations with yourself, the ones no-one else knows about. That voice that talks you into or out of doing something you want to, or don’t want to do.

By tuning in and listening to what conversation is going on, you can reveal whether you are feeding the negative thoughts, feelings and emotions or whether you are feeding the the positive thoughts, feelings and actions. The choice is yours, the thoughts you feed the most will be strongest. What thoughts have you been feeding? Are you happy with the results they are giving you.

This time in history is a great time to decide if the life you have been living up to this point has got you the results you want. If it has, keep doing what you’re doing. If it hasn’t now would be as good a time as any to have a look at the thoughts you think that keep you in the rut you’re in. Are you thinking on purpose, or Are you parroting what those around you are saying? Do you think for yourself? or Are you letting the news of the day think for you?

Personally, I am using this time to re-evaluate my beliefs about myself and the society I live in. I am challenging my beliefs, Asking my self questions like. Does this belief serve me? What are the fruits of this belief? Are the results leading me to the life of my dreams or are they leading me away from my dream life? If I continue to think the way I am now will I be better off in a years time?

Food for thought.

What we think creates what we feel, and everything we do, we do for a feeling. Is this thought creating the feeling that we want in our lives today.

If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t.

Use this time of uncertainty to evaluate where you are in your life and where you want to be.

Add more fun and laughter into your every day.

Add more movement into your life.

Create space for creativity in your daily activities.

Become the person, people want to be around.

Share your enthusiasm with others.

Remember, you are enough.

You have everything you need right now to start on a new path.

Add a touch of elegance to your life, pick some fresh flowers.

Remove some of the excess in your life, it could be clothes, ornaments, kitchen gadgets, old make-up, books, anything weighing you down.

Get rid of what you don’t want to make room for what you do want.

Choose some music that lifts your spirit and inspires you and dance like no-one can see you.

I believe: 
What I think creates how I feel,
How I feel creates what I do,
What I do creates my habits
My habits create how well I live my life.

Sow the seeds of hope, love, and trust in some-one else’s life this week.

Live well; Until next time. Be your best authentic self.

Linda Codlin

Chaos to Peace

What is one thing you can give away to others, and still get to keep for your self?

Hello, My friends.

This week has been a week of chaos.

In our household we have made a few more decisions in how we want our kitchen to look and feel.

I know most people go to the end of planning before they begin demolishing things. We tend to be people who have an outline of what we want, we work it out on paper, work out our budget to see if it will fit, then begin. Filling in the gaps along the way.

That is how our kitchen is coming along. The bench wall is complete, it has been relined, papered and painted and looks wonderful, the cupboard units are waiting to be constructed. They will be installed once the vinyl has been laid.

This last week the laundry, which is at the far end of the room but open to the kitchen, was dismantled, the taps have been replaced and the walls plastered, the wallpaper is partially up. We’re on a deadline so work will continue this week.

And to top off the chaos, we decided to remove our water cylinder and go to an infinity system. Now the wall linings, the sink, and the hot water cupboard on the other side of the kitchen have been stripped back to the bare boards. The water to the sink has been disconnected, and the pipes exposed. The plumber arrives later this week, to change everything over.

Whew! it has been a week of upheavals.

The chaos in our home is minor in comparison to the life changing events around the world.

I want to share with you some of the ways I manage when my surroundings are topsy turvy. As I mentioned last week I don’t do mess very well, it stresses me, and when I’m stressed I tend to overeat, and get very grumpy.

Our house has been in a state of disorganization for three or so weeks now and has gone from various states of tidy to untidy. At the moment the kitchen equipment is spread throughout the house, making everything feel cluttered and out of tune.

To help me cope I have created a haven, a no mess space. Everything in this space is where it is supposed to be. It is pleasing to the eye and creates rest in my spirit.

I’m suggesting that where ever you are and what ever the path that you’re on right now, is a path that you may not have chosen for yourself or be able to be changed directly by you. Some physical things are beyond our control. I believe what we can control is how we choose to feel, hence think, about the things that are within our control, such as our environments. Our homes, the way we treat our bodies, and the way we treat each other.

To help me cope with the chaos that is in my home, and my community. I keep a gratitude journal. Some of you may be aware that being grateful is one of the quickest ways to change our inner state of being. When I speak about gratitude I mean the feeling, the surge of genuine appreciation for the people, or things and places I’m appreciative of and for.

This morning I was made aware, again, of how much I appreciate running hot water, and how I take this luxury for granted. With the kitchen sink decommissioned, and with no running water in this area, we are using the bathroom as our water source. Which is inconvenient.

One of the things I have learned on my journey of life is that everything comes to an end. Eventually this global pandemic will also come to an end. The financial crises will also come to an end. The downs will become ups.

We all have a spark of peace within us, for some of us it may have been hiding for a long time, now is a good time to reignite it. The inner peace we all have is a gift that gives us resilience in times of hardship. It enables us to see past the events of today and to look into the future, to know with certainty that we are enough, and that we have enough to deal with whatever comes our way. We have the strength of character to choose to understand and care about those around us who are also feeling stressed and uncomfortable with the changes being thrust upon them.

While writing in my gratitude journal today, I observed how the internet is one of the greatest tools we have to connect with each other. We can give each other kindness and the expectation that all will be well, we can be there to listen to and allay our friends and families fears.

Our thinking about the outside world determines how we feel. What we focus on we find. By choosing to focus on what we have rather than what we don’t have, we begin to realize that our lives are filled with blessings. The energy we exude changes and our creativity becomes energized, showing us solutions where we couldn’t see any before.

Let me run through the guidelines of how I write or say my gratitude, to change my energy and thinking.

I ask myself questions.

What in my immediate surroundings do I love? The bright pink flowers in the vase on the table.

Why do I love it? What about this thing gives me pleasure? It is beautiful and brightens up a room that otherwise would be drab.

What blessings do I notice? I can still connect to people with the internet even if isolation is enforced. I am so grateful for the internet, that I can keep in touch with my family all over the country. That the internet enables me to work from home.

What is great about this moment? In this moment I am grateful that I can breath in clean air, that my lungs are taking in the oxygen my body needs and expelling the carbon dioxide that I don’t need.

What/Whom can I offer thanks to? I am grateful for the doctors and nurses who are continuing to work in these trying times. I am grateful for the people who invented the respirators that save peoples lives. I am grateful to all the factory workers who process and package the food that I purchase from the supermarket. This list is endless, The bed I sleep on, the people who make the bed I sleep on.

What do I love about my life? I grateful that I have a roof over my head. I am grateful for the clothes I wear. I love that I have a creative mind. I love that I get to choose to design my life by the thoughts that I think. (You get the idea.)

What is going well? I am grateful my computer is working well, and allowing me to type this blog. I am grateful that the demolition of the kitchen units and wall coverings went well.

What possibilities are present? Globally we are seeing the benefits of the cessation of the factories and vehicle pollution. We are being forced to think outside our normal, and we are creating different scenarios for the way we earn money, interact with our families, and face the things that frighten us the most.

My intention is that you will be able to see a way that you can use these questions to be a spring board for your own gratitude thinking, and original questions, to help you become aware of the great things you have and are.

The second part of my gratitude journal is to celebrate ahead of time.

This is where I think about who I want to be, what I want to have, or what I want to do with my life? I plan in advance, I go to the end and reverse engineer, looking at the steps I need to take to get from there, to here. I imagine myself feeling what I’ll feel like when I am being, having or doing what it is I am creating, I celebrate that feeling and believing ahead of time. I embody the person I need to become at each stage from the end to now.

Using our kitchen as an example, I know what I want the end product to look like, I know the feeling I want to create and the way this space will be used. To get from here, the old dysfunctional and outdated kitchen, to there, the new and updated kitchen. I have a few skills I need to learn, things like putting up new gib board, plastering, wallpapering, painting, kitchen cabinetry construction. To do these things I need to change the way I view myself. I have to believe that I can do it, That I can do it badly till I learn to do it better. (Not so easy if you have a script that says, “Failing is a bad thing”) I have to research the how to, follow instructions, then follow through and actually do it. All the while managing the stress of new things and mess.

So my journal entry, looks like this. I am so grateful and happy now that my kitchen is streamlined, it is functional and feels warm and fabulous to use. I love cooking and preparing our meals in this new and updated kitchen. The kitchen walls look marvelous. I have done a great job of plastering, papering and painting the walls. I now have more skills to add to my home handy-woman kit. I am so proud of myself for managing the stress in healthy ways and getting on and getting the job done. Go me.

Part of the gratitude cycle is that we begin to enjoy living today, in the here and now. Being thankful for what we have and can do, rather than living in the pining for over there, in the future, where we perceive that when we have or are doing the things that we consider will make us happy, we’ll be happy. Happy is an emotion we can create today, and gratitude is on of the tools to help us build that happiness today.

Remember: Our Thoughts create our Feelings, Our Feelings create our Actions, Our Actions create our Habits, Our Habits create a well lived Life. Live your Life on purpose.

Your challenge for this week is to find 100 things to be grateful for today. (When I first did this, it blew me away at how much I had to be thankful for.)

Begin a gratitude journal and write five things you are thankful for now, and five things you will celebrate ahead of time.

Make it fun.

Until next time be safe, and live your best authentic life.

Linda Codlin

Words have Power.

Those who choose to succeed always do better than those who never choose at all.

Words have power.

The written and spoken word have power long after they have been noted or spoken.

Words begin with your thoughts.

Where you are today is in direct relation to the words that you have said, or read, or have been spoken over you, and the thoughts you think about what you’ve read, heard or spoken.

It is my belief that there are three ways our thoughts are received

The first is from our senses:

Our Taste, Touch, Sight, Smell, and Hearing. Everything we have learned have come from our senses, either from our environment or our past experiences.

The second way thoughts are received is through our ego.

The ego psychology¬†focus’ on the management of primal and aggressive impulses. Our ego comes from the state of fear. It includes emotions like anger, hate, guilt, blame, inferiority and criticism.

The primal need for ego is to protect us, it perceives everything as a threat against our natural lives.

The third way thoughts are received is through our higher selves.

Some call it The Universe, God, and The Source. These thoughts speak through our spirit. I call this my inner voice, which comes from the state of Love.

Words can be used to encourage and help people, we can bless those around us with the words we use.

Words can also be used to harm and discourage people, we can curse those around us with our words.

We get to choose how we use our words.

Do we give life to those around us or do we take life from them?

Each time we genuinely bless someone, praise someone, be grateful for or to someone we increase their energy.

And every time we put someone down, or tell them how stupid they are, or they are a waste of space. We are draining their life energy.

Our egos thrive on fear, it grows stronger the more we feed it with the negative thoughts and words we speak to ourselves and others.

Our words are like the obstacles in a computer game.

We are the hero/heroine, and as such we have special armour and life forces. As we go through the levels of the game, there are items (words) that diminish or increase our life energy. If we are hit often enough with the negative and draining words we will lose our will to live or our dreams lose their energy. If on the other hand we are hit with positive and encouraging words we gain momentum and more life energy, our dreams are inspired.

The words we speak to others and ourselves increase our life energy or decrease our life energy.

Why would we make the deliberate choice to decrease life energy by speaking unkind words and death enhancing words to ourselves and others?

Words like “I can’t do this.” “I’m never going to be good enough” “I always fail.” “I’ll never amount to anything.” “I’m always sick” “I always lose weight and then put it back on again.”

Why not choose to make the deliberate choice to increase life energy by speaking loving and kind words to ourselves and others?

Words like “I can do this.” “I’m enough.” I’m good enough.” “I always find an answer to the question.” I am fit, well, and healthy.” ” I am permanently slender,”

Words have power.

What are the key words you use over and over to describe yourself, or your children, or your partner.

Everyday you get to have a choice about what you speak. The words you say or think have an emotional reaction within your body.

Will you create life?

Your words have the power to make a huge difference in your life.

What is expected tends to be realized, what do you expect, with the words that you say.

My belief is we create with our thoughts.

Our thoughts create feelings. (Our words create emotions)

Those emotions create our actions (Creating life or destroying life)

Those actions create habits (A life of success and joy or of misery and depression)

Those habits create our life. ( A well lived life, or a life of regret and I wish..)

Choosing to live your life by your own choice. Is the greatest freedom you will ever have.

I encourage you to choose one of your most negative re-occurring words and flip it upside down, and use the opposite to speak into your life this week and see if it makes a difference to how you think and feel. See if it makes a difference to how those around you think and feel.

If you’re struggling to find a statement pick one of mine.

“I am enough.”

“I am confident, I can do this.”

“You did a great job, well done.”

“I am creative.”

“I choose to make life giving statements today.”

Have a great week, Live your most authentic life giving week.

Until next time.

Linda Codlin.

Are opposites inseparable?

Pleasure and Pain, though directly opposite are contrived to be constant companions. -Pierre Charron

Hello My friends,

The kitchen upgrade is ongoing, this week my hubby has been busy putting up plaster board and plastering the joins, framing doorways and painting timber. There is one thing I know about myself, living in a messy and cluttered environment stresses me out.

The way I live on the outside, tends to reflect the way I’m feeling on the inside. Having the kitchen dismantled with benches and cupboards distributed in the lounge and dining area are not helping our household run smoothly. Being people of habit, we continue to look for the toaster and the fridge where they were before we moved them, increasing our frustration.

With all this upheaval in our home, it got me thinking about pleasure and pain, and how we don’t seem to be able to have one without the other.

I want the pleasure of a new kitchen, however to get it I have to go through the pain of change and going without the organisation I am accustomed to.

The question for me is;

“Do I run to pleasure and away from pain?” Or “Do I run head on into pain knowing that there will be pleasure on the other side of the pain?”

What is a healthy definition of pain and pleasure? Pain: An unpleasant sensation that can range from mild, localized discomfort to agony, Pain has both physical and emotional components. Pleasure: The agreeable feeling that accompanies getting something good or much wanted. A feeling of happiness or satisfaction.

What is my definition of pain and pleasure? Pain is often something I have to go through to get the pleasure, happiness and joy of the thing I want.

What is your definition of pleasure and pain?

Is our behaviour predetermined, or can we change the way we respond?

I believe we always have a choice. We can choose the thoughts we think, which create the way we feel, which determine the way we respond or react to any situation, which creates our reality by the actions we take.

Pleasure verses Pain

Rewards verses Bribes, The carrot and the stick scenario. The story is told of a farmer who wanted his donkey to carry his load of produce to the market. The donkey being stubborn had stopped on the track and wouldn’t budge. The farmer found a stick on the road side and whipped the donkey, yelling at it to move. The donkey stood stead fast. The farmers neighbour came past, seeing the farmers dilemma, he suggested the farmer use a carrot on a stick, hung over the donkeys nose. The donkey lurched forward to get the carrot, moving quickly to market, the farmer rewarded the donkey with the carrot.

Fear verses Love,

How much of our lives are lived in fear?

The fear of failing, the fear of actually succeeding, the fear of change, the fear of the unknown, the fear of rejection, the fear of being accepted, or the fear of not being good enough. So much fear!

How much of our lives are lived from a place of love?

The love of failing, the love of succeeding, the love of change, the love of the unknown and excitement, the love of rejection, the love of being accepted and acceptable, the love of yourself and everything that encompasses you.

Can we choose one over the other? When I conquer the fear of failing, by embracing failure as the learning curve it is, then I can enjoy the reward of the success that learning and changing produce. I can love failing, for the benefit it gives me in moving ahead to become the person and business woman I’m aiming at.

On the flip side of each perceived negative is a tremendous positive. By learning to embrace the pain of the negative emotion or behaviour, we get to enjoy the financial success, the friendship, the romance or the fulfillment of the dream.

As I’m travelling along this journey of self discovery, I’m in an uncharted land, where the land marks are completely different to anything I’ve done or who I’ve been before. I’m finding the fear of the pain of stepping into the unknown is in my head. The thoughts I think about what could happen, are worse than the pain of what actually happens as I follow my inner tuition and step into the unknown, talk to people I don’t know, write papers I’ve never done before. The thoughts from my past are not useful for the growth of who I want to be.

Is there something you want to pursue? What is your big dream?

What is stopping you from taking the steps that need to be taken?

Is it the pain of the unknown, or the fear of failing?

What would happen if you followed your little voice, the one that knows what you need to do?

You can change the messages from your past, by looking at what you think is going to happen when you step into the pain. Emotions are just thought signals, vibrations sent from your brain, that it perceives danger, You don’t have to act on an emotion, you can let it sit in your body, calm it down and choose a better thought to give a better emotion, that will allow you to take the next action step into your future dream, today.

Pleasure and pain, though directly opposite are contrived to be constant companions. -Pierre Charron

I am choosing to run into the pain to get to the pleasure on the other side. What about you? Do you run towards the pain to get the pleasure? or Do you run away from the pain forgoing the future pleasure?

This week investigate the way you look at pleasure and pain in relation to your BIG dream.

Until next week, live your best authentic life.

Linda Codlin

Discipline: Pleasure or Pain?

Hello My friends,

This week has zipped by exceptionally quickly. I’ve had a birthday this week, now I’m a little older and wiser. They say the older you get the faster time goes by.

I was sitting in the back yard eating my lunch today. Our picnic table is under the huge Puriri tree, which is wonderful for offering shade from the hot afternoon sun. As I was eating my sandwich the little red flowers floated to the ground. I looked up into the branches, and hiding among the leaves, upside down was a little juvenile Tui. He is so young he doesn’t have a wattle yet. He was vigorously shaking the flower to get his beak right to the tip to extract all the nectar. I am so blessed to live in a garden where we have native birds sipping nectar.

Today I want to talk about discipline.

Okay, before you grunt and put your device away in disgust. Hear me out.

The definition of discipline according to the dictionary is, “The practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behaviour, using punishment to correct disobedience”

That’s how I grew up with the interpretation of discipline. Discipline was something to avoid at all costs, it created pain, and in my mind pain was not good. That’s how I raised my children. The motivating factor behind discipline in this sense is fear, if I don’t behave in a certain way something bad is going to happen to me. I am going to be punished.

Is it any wonder we ever do anything? Think back over your life, how many times have you, not done something good, that you really wanted to because you were afraid of going against the rules of your family? How many times have you rebelled against the rules of your family or society? Deciding to face the fury of your family. Isn’t that what all rebellion is about, breaking free from the ‘discipline and control’ of someone else.

What if we came to discipline from a place of Love?

Love desires the very best for the person love is bestowed upon. I’m not saying we don’t need rules, all communities require some form of governing. I’m suggesting that we create our own rules for governing our lives, and the rewards we get for following through with them.

Why is it that the gyms have lots of members but few patrons? I’d like to suggest it’s our lack of self-discipline.

Why do we ignore our credit card statements, and continue to shop? I’d suggest there is an emotional reason, one that we’re running away from. Self-discipline would help turn this area around.

We have two main operating systems in our brain.

The first is to avoid pain. We are wired to reject pain and move away from it. If we perceive that over eating or over spending or over drinking is going to numb the pain or remove it, we move in that direction.

The second is to run to pleasure. Every thing we do is to give us pleasure. False pleasure or true pleasure. False pleasure always has a sting in it’s tail, like a scorpion. It’s the overeating which creates health issues, it’s spending money on things you don’t want, which creates the debt and the over stuffed houses we live in, it’s drinking to excess which creates devastation in our families, health and finances. True pleasure leaves you with the feeling of well-being, it builds your self-confidence and self-esteem. True pleasure brings people together.

Do you find being disciplined difficult?

Do you find that you show up for other people, but not yourself?

Do you find you can be disciplined at work, but not at home?

What are the thoughts behind your version of discipline?

Are they thoughts of fear? “If I don’t show up for work I’ll get the sack” “It’s important that I show up on time and prepared, or I’ll be humiliated.”

What if we came to discipline from a place of self-love?

It is my belief that it is our thoughts that determine what actions we take, those actions determine the habits that we create and those habits determine whether we have a well lived life.

Discipline in and of itself is neutral, It’s a word. It is what you believe it to mean that adds the power to it.

Think of the areas in your life where you are disciplined. Yes, you do have areas of your life where you have discipline. It might be brushing your teeth, or feeding your children or pets, or putting on clothes to go outside. You have areas of your life where you have discipline. What are your thoughts when you do these things? Do you even think about it? Are they on auto pilot?

Discipline is the key to freedom. By being disciplined you create space in your life to move towards the pleasure and things you really want.

Do you want to lose weight? Discipline is the key, discipline from a place of self-love. Where you watch with interest the thoughts you are thinking when you choose foods that you know are not the best for your body. You watch the thoughts, that talk you out of going to the gym or for that walk around the block. Know that is just your brain trying to keep in in it’s ‘safe normal’ place.

Do you want to get out of debt? Discipline is the key, once again from a place of self-love. It is with self-love and acceptance that you can investigate without guilt or shame the stories that are running in your mind, creating your need to spend.

With awareness you will discover what you are thinking to yourself. These are the thoughts that are driving you. Are they thoughts of love for yourself or do they berate and belittle you, do they motivate you to move toward your goal or do they stop you in your tracks?

Discipline can be instilled in your life one thought at a time.

Choose a goal you want to achieve.

Why do you want it? (Do you like your why? That’s all that is important)

What do you need to do to achieve it?

Write these down? They will become your action steps.

To get something you have never had, you have to become someone you’ve never been before.

To make permanent lasting change stick you have to change the way you think about yourself.

Think about how you will feel when you have achieved your goal. How will the way you dress change? Will you be more confident? How is your life different once your goal is achieved?

What are thoughts you’ll be thinking?

If you’ve released your excess weight, You could be thinking, “I look good in this little black dress” “I love eating healthy and nourishing foods”

If you’ve paid off your credit card, “You could be thinking, “I have so much more money to invest in my future.” ” I enjoying buying what I need with cash.”

To become someone you have never been, you have to think in ways you’ve never thought before.

This week choose one little tiny activity that you can repeat over and over to create a new habit, toward s your goal. Buddy that action with something you already to do to double it’s success rate. Watch the thoughts that rise as you do this action. Are these the thoughts that the you who has achieved their goal will be thinking, if not choose a better thought.

You choose the thoughts you think at any given time. choose the good ones.

Take your discipline out of it’s box, dust it off, sprinkle it with self-love and a little tiny action and watch it grow.

Till next time, be your authentic self.

Linda Codlin