Celebrating Commitment

“The difference between interest and commitment, is when you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when it’s convenient. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results.” Kenneth Blanchard

Hello. My friends,

We in the Codlin household are celebrating the completion of our beautiful kitchen. Isn’t it the greatest feeling ever to create something? Our kitchen space wasn’t working for us and needed updating. We gutted the old kitchen and created a plan of what we wanted and how we wanted the new kitchen to look and feel. It has taken a few detours and pit-stops to get here. That didn’t stop us. I love it, everything is shiny and new, works well and came in within our budget.

It builds the confidence in yourself that you can make a plan and keep working towards achieving it, no matter what may happen around you, you are committed to seeing your project through to completion. I love, love, love the feeling of a project completed.

That brings me to this weeks topic, commitment.

Scary word that. Commitment. What does the word commitment raise in your mind? What pictures do you see that depicts commitment? Do you think of a ball and chain, being dragged around slowing you down? Kind of like the jokes (just kidding, but not really) of marriage. Does commitment make you think of missing out, being deprived, or giving up?

What if I were to tell you that commitment is the golden road to success and achievement? Would you scoff at me? Laugh me out of town, so to speak.

When you make the choice not to commit to something you know you should be committed to how do you feel? How do you show up? Are you enthusiastic and rearing to go? No! Usually when you make a half-hearted decision to have a go at doing something, you leave the back door open, or ajar so you can make a hasty retreat, when the going gets tough. How often do you hear people say, “I tried that and it didn’t work.” and then give you a string of excuses wrapped up as reasons for not giving it their whole heart until it was done.

I’m offering you a different way of viewing commitment. Commitment is making the choice to go all in, holding nothing back, to do, have or be what it is you want?

Commitment changes the way you view the road blocks, they become challenges to surmount, they become opportunities for you to grow, to learn new skills, to find out more about who you are and what makes you tick.

Commitment to your self, brings out your true and authentic self. Your opinion of your self grows in a healthy way. You learn that there is so much more to you. As a bonus those around you also know you are on a mission and either get on board to help you, or move aside. When you are committed to yourself and your goal, plan or project, the negative opinions of others just don’t have anywhere to roost, and slide off. You are on a mission, you choose to be committed to yourself first.

Lets take weight loss as an example. This is an area of my life I am overcoming. I tend to be an emotional, addictive over-eater. I have made the commitment to myself to regain my slender healthy body. To honour this commitment to myself I have to let go of all the “diet” information I have “learned and absorbed” over my lifetime of being on a “diet’. The commitment to become my true slender self permanently isn’t a wish, it’s not a, “Oh, I think I’ll try to lose weight.” I have in the past used all the excuses that anyone who has ever tried losing weight and failed has used. If I’m honest they still pop up everyday, the difference is I have the tools to listen to them, to accept them and see what they are trying to teach me. My commitment to myself is to gain my power over my emotions back. You see I have given my power away to food. I have let food control my life. The difference this time is the commitment I have made to myself to slim down by loving myself, by being kind and gentle to myself. No internal beat ups allowed. As I make better food choices, and examine why I had the need to eat an entire packet of biscuits, sort out the emotional stuff in behind the eating, I am finding reducing my body size is easy. For me this journey may take years, however long it takes I’m committed to freeing myself from the bondage of eating for emotion and addiction, and doing all the necessary unpleasant, undercover and uncomfortable discoveries to make my best life mine for always. For me to be someone I’ve never been, I have to become someone who does the things I’ve never done before.

So. I’m wanting you, today, to have a think about what you are committed to. What do you want to get out of your life that you are not currently getting? Are you like me and want a slimmer and more healthful body? Or do you want to earn more money? Have more elegance in your life, be the person who carries yourself with the confidence and assurance that what ever comes your way you can handle it? Make a commitment, a full on no holds barred commitment to go all in. To learn and become the person you need to be.

TO BECOME SOMEONE YOU’VE NEVER BEEN, YOU HAVE TO BE, AND DO THINGS YOU’VE NEVER BEEN OR DONE BEFORE. You learn new ways of thinking and behaving, You learn new skills, you decide what you want in your life and what you don’t want. You put up the safety barriers around your life, to keep-out the things you don’t want and to build safety and security around what you do want, you do the tiny daily habits that grow you and change you into the person you want to be.

Commitment is your friend, it helps you to get where you want to go. Commitment guides you around the road blocks and unexpected events that will come up. Commitment helps you make the decisions that lead you to where you want to be. Commitment gives your brain room to think and create. Commitment removes all the side issues, the fluff that distracts. Commitment gives you purpose, focus and drive.

I encourage you to make a decision, a small decision that you can commit to no matter what. Tidy the spare room, go for a jog every day, do 50 sit ups, save ten dollars every week into a separate account for investing later as it grows, get up 5 mins earlier every morning to plan your day ahead of time. Commit to the one thing that will make your life better today. You know what it is. Trust yourself, and show up for yourself.

Until next time, make a commitment to yourself, to be your best, most aligned and authentic self.

Linda Codlin

Expressions of Love

Respect is one of the greatest expressions of Love

Miguel Angel Ruiz

Photo by Mohammad Gh on Unsplash

Hello, My friends,

This week we have been confronted with shocking violence and fear, strength and hatred, also love and vulnerability. It has been a time for reflection and confrontation. I believe everyone regardless of colour, religion, ethnic background, gender and financial status are entitled to be treated with respect and kindness.

Today I want to have a peek at what respect is and how we can incorporate it in our lives a little more.

What is respect? The dictionary definition of respect is

1/ A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

2/ Due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others.

Respect to me is a way of showing, treating or thinking of someone or something.

How do we show respect for others? How do we treat others that reveals the respect we have for them? What does our thinking have to do with respecting others?

There are many ways we show respect to people and things.

I’m going to share the 6 ways to show respect that I’ve been working on in my life.

  • Listen. God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. So we can hear in stereo and listen twice as often as we speak. Have you ever found yourself thinking of the next thing you’re going to say. Even before the person speaking has finished? In my family we have someone who has a stammer, it is really easy to finish the words that are being spoken for them, presuming you know what they’re going to say, just so you can say your bit. By stopping your mind rattling on ahead, and actually listening to what is being said, thinking about their words and beliefs, is a sign of respecting them as a person. The words you say are an indication of who you are and what you think about the world and everything that happens in it. By learning to actively listen we show the speaker that their opinion is valued.
  • Declare. Make a statement, acknowledge, let someone know that you value them, that they matter to you. That you see the good characteristics in their personality. You show they are good enough just they way they are. By declaring to someone the positive you see in them, you show respect and raise the value of who they are. Affirming that they are important and that they make a difference. ” You dealt with that extremely sensitive situation with great tact.”
  • Service. Everything we do is about serving someone. As we serve others we offer them value. Think about how you serve those around you? You receive service when you purchase products. You give service when some-one else purchases from you. Service is given when people do things for you, such as the plumber, electrician, the accountant, and contractor. Most people trade time, services and expertise for money. What if you decided to show respect to your customers and clients by giving a little more service than what they are paying for. And as a customer or client you gave respect to those working to serve us by being kind and polite. That leads me onto the next way to show respect to someone.
  • Kindness. Be kind. Kindness and Service walk hand in hand. Being kind is giving someone a hand up when they fall down. It’s offering help when you see someone in need. Kindness is choosing to with-hold the nasty quip that jumps to mind, it is speaking words of encouragement, it is being generous. By showing kindness you show respect for other people, you indicate you respect their feelings and their values in a tangible way.
  • Politeness. Being polite is using good manners and is related to kindness and service. You show respect to someone when you speak politely, using manners, opening a door, waiting your turn instead of pushing in, choosing to use your words to uplift others when on social media rather than tearing people down because they have a differing view. Politeness is driving your car responsibly, you show respect to those who are sharing your space by not having your music so loud others can’t hear the conversation. By being polite you offer to value to other peoples way of thinking and being, and when it is reciprocated your environment is a much friendlier place.
  • Thankfulness. Gratitude, and Appreciation. Being thankful is noticing when some-one opens the door for you and you acknowledging them shows respect. Respecting people who do you a service with a “Thank You” or “You’re welcome.” Lets others know you appreciate their acts of kindness and politeness. Showing gratitude with the nod of a head, or waving to let them know you saw the kindness, is giving respect. When you live with a thankful attitude, you tend to give and get more respect and appreciation.

The way we think has a lot to do with who and how we show respect to our fellow humans.

Remember: Our Beliefs are created by our thoughts, Our thoughts determine our feelings which create our actions, and it’s our actions that show how we respect others and our selves.

This week I want to challenge you to include one if not all of the six ways we can show respect, into your interactions with the people in your sphere of influence. Be the one who makes a difference this week.

Until next week, be your kindest, most respectful and thankful authentic self.

Cheers

Linda Codlin

“Should’s and Have to’s” Whose are they?

Be the light that shines freedom to those around you.

Hello, My friends,

Happy Queens Birthday Monday, it’s a public holiday here in New Zealand, the weather is wet, with a decided nippy chill in the air. It’s the week of the year when all the farm managers and labourers are on the move from one farm to another. My grandson turns six in a couple of days, we had the pleasure of his company over the weekend. It was a day of baking and learning new word games. I love the interaction of the children as they grow older. Spending time with my daughter, remembering her childhood and the memories that were made.

Over the last little while I’ve been thinking about expectations. What are they? Where do they come from? Are they good for me? What if I don’t live up to them?

As a mum there are things I’m expected to do, Who decided what mum’s “should” or “shouldn’t” do? What if I decided how I wanted to mother my children? What resistance would I face? Where would that resistance come from? That then sets off a whole new realm of questions. Am I willing to go against – family, friends, culture, current societal beliefs on how a child “should” be raised? Am I strong enough to withstand the judgments and comments from others, those looks of disapproval, the whispers behind back hands, the people who walk away as I approach.

Most of us don’t actually look at where the expectations on our lives come from. The “Shoulds” and “have to’s” . What if some of those shoulds and have to’s are actually stopping you from reaching your fullest potential? What if they are holding you back from being the great musician you know you can be? Or the published author of a New York best seller? Or the owner of a successful motor mechanic garage? Or the most upmarket hair stylist in town? Have you ever thought about the thing you most want to do, have or be in life and then thought, that won’t provide for my family, or my parents wouldn’t allow it, I’ve got responsibilities. etc,etc.

I’m suggesting taking a look at what expectations are in your life, are you placing them on yourself, and what expectations you have taken on board from other people. Ask yourself do these expectations take me closer to where I want to go. (Do you even know where you want to go?)

Some Expectations will be exactly what you want in life. You may want to be the head nutritionist cook in your family, ensuring your children are well fed with nutritious meals. You may want to practice the playing the piano two hours a day, as it fits in with your goal of being a concert pianist. You may want to write for an hour everyday, as it leads towards your desire of being a published author.

What if you are the person placing the expectations on others? What if people are not living up to what you want them to do, or be? The question then becomes, what need do you have that you want these people to fulfill? (And What if you filled that need for yourself?) Are you trying to control others behaviour to make you feel better?(What if you made yourself feel better?) Do you feel it is your responsibility to prevent them from making the same mistakes that you did? (How did you learn to get the wisdom you have?)

What would happen if you allowed people to live their lives, their way, making their own mistakes and having the ability to learn from them? What if you learned to live your life the way you really want to? If you took one hundred percent responsibility for everything you do, you think, you say. If every interaction with others was about you being responsible for yourself and letting them be responsible for themselves. Would you have more freedom?

I wonder if the place we live in would become more harmonious. As we realise we can only ever be completely in control or our thoughts and the actions that arise from those thoughts. Controlling other people always leaves someone as the victim, with expectations that they can not live up to, with the underlying, unspoken expectation that they are not good enough or smart enough to run their own lives, to get themselves out of debt, to find themselves a form of legal income, to lose the weight, to find the sweetheart of their dreams. What if we shone the torch light of love into some-one’s life and showed them the way to a better future, and it was up to them to take the next step without our pushing or pulling them along. It would free up the light giver to give light to those ready to step forward and it would free those who are not yet ready, to become ready, when it is their time.

I believe the more you resist something the more it sits in your life, by giving people the opportunity to be themselves, we free them to be who they are without limitations, and it also frees up us to be who we are without limitations.

Who are you without other people’s expectations? Who are you without limitations?

What will it take for you to have a go at being who you really want to be? To have what you really want to have? To do that something that’s been burning on the inside of you, that needs to be expressed? To be the person you know you can be?

Remember we believe what we think the most, we act out what we believe, our actions form our habits, and our habits form the type of life we live. Choose the best thoughts to create your best life.

My challenge for us this week is to have at look at the expectations we have on our lives from others, and also to look at the expectations we put onto other people’s lives.

Have a great week, Until next time be your most authentic self.

Linda Codlin

Bread Maker for a Home Baker

HAPPINESS IS…..

The smell of freshly baked bread

Hello, My Friends.

As the rules around lock-down loosen, I trust you are keeping safe. This week has been a busy one, I have painted the ceiling and the walls in the kitchen, hubby has installed all the units and the sink. Our kitchen is beginning to take shape. Do you ever find yourself stuck trying to make a decision? That was us this morning. Standing in the tile shop, with walls and stands covered in many different tiles, of varying colour and texture. Our splash back area, required a decision, and choosing the colour and texture tile was where we got stuck. In a bit for simplicity we opted for white glossy tiles, I figure we are better to keep it simple, and white won’t clash with anything already in the kitchen.

In my history as stay at home mum, one of my ventures was to bake bread from scratch by hand. I recall it took a few attempts to get it right. The first few tries were inedible, even the birds had to wait for a rainy day to soak the bread before they could break the surface. Once I had mastered the art, of kneading and shaping 25kg batches of flour into loaves and buns, I sold the bread and fresh cream buns to family and friends. (Early signs of entrepreneurship)

Have you ever looked over the fence at someone else living their life, thinking they’ve got it so much easier than you have? I’m certain this is one of those human traits we all have, thinking every-one else has life easier than we do, that they have a better car, a bigger house, nicer clothes, more obedient children, a wonderful loving spouse. What if, what they had really wasn’t any better than what you have right now? If you really wanted the things they had, you would have them. You would be willing to pay the price to get them. That price comes in many forms, it maybe working long hours, working inconvenient, anti social hours as a shift worker. The price may come in the form of ill health, emotional isolation, or even having people expecting you to do you favours. Things don’t necessarily make you any happier or at peace with your self and sometimes the sacrifice of gaining those things is just too high.

I remember walking through the appliance shop, looking at the bread makers. My mind was very busy trying to sell me one. “You really do need one, it’ll save you so much time.” Look it even has a kneading setting so you can still make buns.” “Imagine, coming home to freshly baked bread, or getting up to fresh bread in the morning, hot toast dripping with butter, without you having to put in all that work.” “It doesn’t cost that much, you’ll recoup that money back in no time.” My sensible self was arguing back, “No, you are quite able to continue making bread the way you do.” “You can use that money for clothes.” “What will ‘so and so’ say about you wasting money.” “You don’t need it.” I walked out of the shop, empty handed. My sensible self smugly congratulating herself on a victory.

Two days later I went back to purchase the bread maker. I had justified the benefits to myself, and they outweighed the financial pain, they promised to fulfill some emotional need I had, that just wasn’t being met right now. I wasn’t buying a bread maker, I was buying the promise of a better life, an easier life with more time, the promise of feeling richer, smarter, more lovable, the promise of being a better mother and homemaker. The reality was the bread maker didn’t have the impact I had hoped it would. It caused an argument between the adults, created financial stress and in the end became a shelf decoration, hiding in the back of a cupboard.

How many times do you sell yourself on something that will absolutely change your life? You look at the brochure, you turn it over in your mind, you nurse it and think about it. You may even write a list of pros vs the cons of having it. You go through all the different scenarios of how you could achieve what you want, you talk to your friends, you seek council from trusted associates. Looking for people and events to prove that you really do need this thing. Then you make a decision. Depending on how well you justified the item, deal, contract, or thing will determine whether you chose to go ahead or not. Now the decision in itself may be helpful or not, the item useful or not, the deal one in a lifetime or not, and the contract the best thing ever or not. The outcome will basically come down to two things, how well you sold yourself that it really will give you the feeling you are looking for. which could include the feelings of mastery, confidence, wealth, health, happiness and prosperity, or it will eliminate an area of pain in your life. For example a heat pump will keep you warm, a secretary will organise your office and free up your time, a Ute is essential to carry the tools of your trade.

Everything we do moves us either towards pleasure or away from pain. We justify to ourselves that we deserve something to make us feel better or we punish ourselves using pain to make us stop doing something, whenever we justify our actions we are trying to prove that we are right. If we didn’t believe we were right we wouldn’t do anything.

Are the things you are justifying to yourself coming from a place of pain or pleasure?

Are the items in your environment there because you chose them, or are they there because aunt Mary-Sue gave it to you for xmas and you feel guilty just thinking about re-homing it. Does this item bring you pleasure or pain? Does it make you smile, and think kind thoughts of aunt Mary-Sue, or do you cringe every time you look at it? Do you love the items in your office, your home, your wardrobe, Are they things from your past that you no longer use, need or like? By removing the things you no longer love or enjoy you free yourself up to create a space that satisfies the emotional harmony that seeks to give you inner peace.

Once I realised that I didn’t use the bread maker and that it was an emotional tie to a bad memory, I let it go, releasing with it a little bit of the tension of my past. As I move through my home and life updating my environment to match who I am today and what I love now, my life has more peace and harmony. My aim is that everything in my space will bring me joy, be useful and beautiful. The letting go of the emotional ties, the freedom of being true to myself draws me forward into a brighter future.

It is my desire is that you will find the emotional freedom that comes with letting go of the things that hold you in a past you no longer belong to, or desire to be a part of.

Remember The beliefs you hold about yourself are what drive you to take action. Beliefs are changed by the way you think. You get to choose the thoughts you think. You get to choose the decisions you make which drive your actions, which create habits, which create the life you are living.

Choose to lighten your emotional load by lightening your environmental reminders.

Have a great week, until next time. Be your most authentic self.

Linda Codlin.

The Miracle Elixir.

Life is like water, which is the combination of positive ions (H2+) and negative ions (O–). So do not stress yourself, Just flow on like water

The Soul Writer

Hello, My friends,

Level two of lockdown has seen more vehicles on the road. More work on our kitchen, Hubby installed the gib on the walls, I plastered them and the ceiling, and we sanded until we looked like snow men. The vinyl layer is here as I type, he is grinding the old tar off the floor, what a mess. I guess the rest of this week will be dusting and cleaning. On the up side the kitchen will be able to be assembled and put in place permanently.

This week I wanted to talk about beauty. You have probably heard the saying, “Beauty is only skin deep.” “Real beauty doesn’t depend on your outward appearance.”

What if I told you I’ve found a miraculous anti-aging, thought inducing, weight loss enhancing, temperature moderating, shock absorbing elixir. Would you be interested in knowing more?

Our bodies need this substance to keep us alive. It plumps up our skin, regulates our body temperature and blood circulation. Yes I’m talking about water.

Drinking water is one of the best things we can do for our body and mind. Did you know our body is made up of around 75% water, and the brain is made up of around 85% of that water volume.

When we are dehydrated our body can’t regulate itself, and the brain loses functionality. We begin to think sluggishly, sometimes the result is a migraine headache, making poor choices and suffering the consequences of those choices.

Water is the beauty elixir, it fills our cells and plumps out our skin reducing wrinkles and the signs of aging. It helps the body to remove the toxins in our blood effectively and cleans up our systems, one result of this is a smoother complexion. In some studies it has been shown that the minimum amount of water required for the body to eliminate our waste is one litre.

I believe what we think affects the way we feel, which affects the way we behave. Our behaviour affects everything we do.

You have the ability to create anything you want in your life, by the thoughts that you think and the feelings those thoughts generate. Everything you do, you do for a feeling, usually you want to feel better, or escape a feeling you don’t like. When you learn to feel, and rest in that feeling, you will be able to choose a better thought to create a better feeling, which enables you to act from a place of joy and love.

Water can be one of the miracle cures to a clear mind. I would like to encourage you to drink 6-8 glasses of water everyday. It may help you make better choices, your brain needs to be hydrated. Water has the ability to create beauty from the inside out, your attitude also has the capacity to lighten your load and lift you up, to create a beauty and radiance that shines through in your demeanor and in your self – confidence.

This week I challenge you to drink a bit more water and think a little better about yourself and enjoy a life well lived.

Till next time, be hydrated, and be your best authentic self.

Linda Codlin

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“Impossible” possible.

“If we did all the things we are capable of doing we would truly astound ourselves. Thomas Edison

Hello, My Friends,

How has your week been? Last week I challenged you to pick one area of your environment and begin to sort it out. Did you have a go? How does it feel to be a little more tidy, organised or put together?

We had the plumber come to sort out our kitchen water works this week. I am so grateful for hot running water with great pressure. It makes me feel so blessed, even though the kitchen is still in disarray, while we wait for the vinyl to be put in. I have a kitchen sink.

We are heading into winter, the daylight hours are getting shorter, the mornings are cooler. As we await news by the government whether we can move into alert level two of the lock-down, there is a definite air of anticipation.

The topic I want to talk about this week is “Impossible!”

How many times do we hear the words, “that’s not possible?” “you can’t do that.”

Just because it hasn’t been done before doesn’t mean it can’t be done.

Take the sub four minute mile. The first mile run was recorded in 1850 with the event of running race tracks, being measured and standardized. It look almost a century to bring the time down to 4:01:4 sec in 1940. It was considered impossible to break the four minute mile, “breaking the record could prove fatal”, it was reported to be said. Roger Bannister proved it could be done, on 6th May 1954 he ran the mile on Oxford’s Iffley Road track in 3: 59:4 sec. and lived for many years to tell the story. His mate John Landy broke the same mile record 46 days later. Today the record is held by Hicham El Guerray who ran the mile in 3: 43:13 sec at Rome in 1999. This record has remained for 21 years. Does it mean it is impossible to reduce it further? Only time, and an athlete who is willing to put in the time and effort training will tell.

Once the four minute barrier was broken, it was only 46 days till the next person did it. What ideas are you sitting on? Thinking they can’t be done. What if you created a network of people around you, whom you trusted, to help your idea to grow and bear fruit, to become a reality? Now is the time when we need diverse thinking and ideas like we haven’t seen before.

Imagine, a time before skyscrapers. The tallest buildings you’d seen were three or four stories high. When some one comes to you from the future, they tell you that where they come from buildings have up to 160 floors, they surpass the clouds, they block the sun and house thousands of people.

What would your reaction be? Mine would be denial, “That can’t be true.” It can’t be done.”

Our minds need to expand to accept new and different realities. Just because we can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Our lives are like that, the reality we are living today wasn’t available to our parents or grandparents. We have technologies they couldn’t even have thought were possible.

A video call to someone on the other side of the world. These were things of the movies, science fiction. Someone dreamed them up, someone followed up on the idea, someone put in the effort, the trial and error to fine tune the design, and today we hold in our hands the ability to reach anyone, anywhere, at any time. It may be midnight here, but somewhere in the world it is day break, or lunch time. The opportunity to make the impossible possible is in our hands.

The only thing that stops us is the 15 centimetres in our heads. The chatter that prevents our minds from growing and expanding. I would like to encourage you to think about your potential as an unlimited person. What would you love to do? What really smokes your tyres? What would you do all day long and never feel tired doing? What if that was as close as your pen? What if all you had to do was write it on a piece of paper and read it three times a day, every day? If it was that easy to make it a reality would you have the courage to do it? What if, while you were reading those words you had an idea. What would happen if you wrote that idea down and thought about it, gave it a little energy, investigated what it needed, turned it over in your mind, looked at it from many different angles. What if you found something you could do to grow it? Would you be willing to have a go, try it out, make a mistake and try out something different, tweaking your idea. Try it, I can guarantee you will surprise yourself with what you really want and what you can do right now to begin to make your impossible, possible.

Everything is figure-out-able. Give yourself the permission to go figure it out. You are a creative being. Begin with What you would really love to do, then ask yourself why you really want to do it? Did you know that figuring out your why is what gives your ideas the wings to fly. Your why is the motivation for what you do? Your “impossible” needs a strong why, Ask yourself, Why do I want ….. to lose weight, to earn $20,000;00 a month, to drive a brand new SUV, to own a beautiful, large, sunny home, to have the most wonderful romantic relationship, to create and run my own online business. Anything you ever wanted. Keep asking why? till you find the core, the reason why you do anything in your life right now, that is the same why you can achieve whatever your “impossible” is.

Till next time, my friends, find your why, write out your “I would love to…” and read it every day, give it your energy and breathe life into it.

Remember: What we think creates our feelings, our feelings create our actions, our actions create our habits which create a well lived life. Everything we do, we do to receive a feeling. Thoughts create lives.

Be your best authentic self. You are one of a kind, and the world needs you.

Linda Codlin

From the Outside In.

Hello, My friends.

This week our little family increased by three. Mrs Piggy, our tri-colour guinea pig. Who is predominately tan with white swatches on her head and back, her hind quarters have black splotches on them, had her babies. She has been in maternity lock down for the last few weeks. She had three perfect little piggies, each with their own individual markings. One tan and white, the next black with a little tuft of white on the top of it’s head, and the third black and white with one swatch of tan on it’s side. Mr Hubby is in his element taking care of everyone.

This week I wanted to talk about our outside life being a reflection of our inside life.

Have you ever gone walking around the block, looking at and admiring people’s gardens? We’ve been doing a lot of that lately. What I’ve noticed is, that some gardens are always immaculate, the lawns are always mown with the edges trimmed, the gardens are generally well kept. Then there are other properties that have lawns high enough to loose a small animal in, the gardens are over grown, sometimes there are cars parked on the lawn, covered with tarpaulin, some gardens are children playgrounds with bikes, scooters and trampolines on the lawn. Each of these gardens says something about the person living in the property.

What about your car? What does that say about you? Do you drive the latest model, four wheel drive? or is your vehicle a more modest one, that is looking dated and a little faded? I’m not actually talking about the age or type of vehicle you drive, although that does say something about who you are, I want to ask you. Is the vehicle of your choice clean? Do you wash and wax it every now and then? or Is it a drive and leave kind of vehicle, that gets you from A to B and back, but you don’t really spend any time on it? What about the inside of your vehicle, does it have fast food wrapping, drink bottles, papers, candy wrappers, children’s clothes and shoes, your work bag, the fishing gear, the dog’s play toys strewn around on the floor or all over the seats? Do you have to clear off the front seat for some-one to sit in it? Do you apologize for the mess, when someone gets into the car? The way a vehicle is maintained says something about the owner of the vehicle.

What about your dress code? Do you have a dress code? Did you choose your clothes intentionally? Do you have a look that you style for yourself? Or Do you throw on the first thing you come across? Are your clothes clean and well maintained? What about your personal care, do you shower every day? Do you shave and groom yourself with intention? The way you look and wear your clothes, the posture you have and the way you move all tell a story about what you believe about yourself and how well you are prepared to be treated.

What about your home? Or your bedroom? Do you have a lot of things in your home that remind you of a time you’d rather forget? Are all your surfaces covered with papers and trinkets that somehow just appeared? Do you have books that have never been read and are not likely to be read, taking up valuable space on your shelves? Have you planned the way you want your home to feel? Do have other peoples stuff cluttering your home? Do you just wish you had more space? The things you surround yourself with tell stories about who you are. What are the things that surround you, say about you?

Our outside lives: Everything in our environment, tells something about us.

What you think on the inside shows up on the outside? If you’re feeling tired and down, your personal care will show it, your demeanour will show it, how you speak will show it. If you’re hurried, and don’t have the time, you don’t take the few minutes to put away the laundry, cook dinner, or clear away the dishes. If you’re worried or stressed you don’t take the time to care for yourself, your home, your garden or your vehicle.

I have good news, you can take baby steps to make a difference in your environment. Which will have an effect on the way you think and act in your life.

For those of you who have never used a planner, begin with the back of an envelope or a sheet of paper. If you have a planner, dust it off. I want you to choose one area of your life today, that you can begin on. Ask yourself the question. What area would have the biggest impact on you from the inside? What is the area of your life that every time you walk past it, it growls at you inside your head? The one area that irritates you everyday?

Write this down on your paper. Ask yourself. What about this area frustrates me? Write it down. What will it take to tidy it up and keep it tidy? Set aside a little time regularly to begin clearing the area. Work in small increments to prevent overwhelm. Say 30 minutes at a time. When the time is up tidy everything away, put the rubbish in the rubbish bin, put each item away where it lives. If it doesn’t have a home, give it one, and ensure it always goes home after it’s been used. Donate or sell the extra items you don’t need.

To show you what I mean, I’ll use my freezer top as an example. This area irritates me in that it is a dumping ground for junk mail, hand bags, books, papers, and work gear. Almost anything that comes through the door gets put here. I decided I wanted this area to remain clutter free at all times. To begin with I cleared all the stuff off the top, putting it all in a basket. I sorted it according to type. To prevent it from accumulating again I had to figure out a place where each item could live permanently. My work bag I put a hook in the hallway and relocated it there. I also decided that would be a good place for my hand bag. The car keys I made a designated bowl to put them in every-time I came home, this way I knew where they were quickly and easily. The paper stuff wasn’t so easy, it took a few attempts to retrain myself to put them in the file tray I had created on the bookshelf beside the table. The books went where I would use them, library books have a specific place on the bookshelf, I want to be able to find them easily when I need to read them or return them. My goal was to create a place for every-thing and to make it easy for me to put every-thing back in it’s place.

I want for you to find the ease and elegance that living in a tidy and organised environment can have on you on the inside, how it creates a pocket of space for you to breathe and relax a little, it gives you room to think.

I’m all about creating a better life by creating better thoughts, and better thoughts create better actions, By creating better actions we create better habits which starts the cycle again. This week I would encourage you to choose one area in your life, whether it is personal care, your vehicle, your garden, your home, your bedroom to begin to try it for yourself, to see the benefit in making space for your thoughts by creating space in your environment.

Till next week, Live your best authentic life.

Linda Codlin

If you have found this helpful head over to facebook @lindacodlin25 and leave me a comment.

Who is the servant of all men?

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed.

Happiness is a spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.

Dennis Waitley

Hello, My friends.

I trust your week of home confinement has been profitable. That all those in your bubble are safe.

With the promise of moving into level 3 this week there is a charge of anticipation in the air. Please continue to be safe and careful.

This week I thought I would start with a little Who am I quiz?

Who am I?

I am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.

I am completely at your command. Half the things you do you might just as well turn over to me and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly. I am easily managed – you merely must be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons I will do it automatically.

I am the servant of all great men, and also of all failures as well. Those who are great I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures. I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a man.

You may run me for profit or run me for ruin – it makes no difference to me. Take me, Train me, be firm with me and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me, and I will destroy you.

Who am I?

I came across this ‘quote’ while planning for this weeks blog. Can you guess Who/ What it is? I’ll let you know at the end of this post.

As far back as I can remember I have been trained, taught the ‘essentials’ of life. According to my parents, school teachers, church leaders, and grandparents. I was trained in all subtlety, (and some not so subtle ways) not to question or answer back. I learned early on that it wasn’t worth the pain. So I swallowed whatever I was told as fact and truth. It never occurred to me to question or challenge the things I’d been taught.

Things like I’m not good at maths, good girls sit quietly and do as they’re told, children are to be seen and not heard. At school, speaking in front of the class was excruciating for a shy girl, being told not sing with the choir because my voice didn’t sound like everyone else’s, and all good things come to those who wait.

What things were you told as a youngster? Were you feed the line of ‘why can’t you be more like your brother/sister?’ ‘You never sit still.’ ‘You are such a naughty girl/boy.’ ‘If there’s trouble brewing you’re always in the middle of it.’ ‘I wish you would do as you’re told.’ ‘You’ll never be pretty, thin, good enough.’ or any version of these seemingly harmless statements. As children we absorb all these comments as truth. Generally the people saying these words are people who are the greatest influence in our young lives. Now I’m suggesting we go on a witch hunt, I believe these people were trying to do the best they could with what they knew to do. They were trying to train and teach us to be responsible people. For me and I suspect for a few of you reading this, that wasn’t the lesson that was taken on board.

These unwritten lessons have guided our lives. Have you ever said, “Tomorrow morning I’m getting up early and I’m going to run around the block.” or “I’m going to start my diet tomorrow.” or “I’m tidying my house, and then I’m going to keep that way.” or “I’m going to apply for that job.” or “I’ll ask her out for a coffee.” or “I’ll study for that exam tomorrow.”

These are all good intentions, did you maintain it for very long? Did you follow through with your intention?

The reason that New Year’s resolutions don’t work is that changing the behaviour doesn’t change the belief that created the unwanted behaviour in the first place.

As very young children our brains don’t have a filter, so everything our significant people say and do slips directly into our subconscious mind, we have no way of telling whether the input is true or false. This is why children have some of the characteristics of their parents, without being aware, we copy and emulate them. As we grow we learn about our senses and we learn to decipher when someone is pulling our leg, and that Father Christmas isn’t real. However the lessons we have learned are embedded in our brains and manipulate our behaviours.

What I want us to look at today is the programmes that drive our habits.

I’ll use the diet scenario, you know what you can and can’t eat. (This is another whole topic, for another time.) but you just can’t resist the cake on the bench, or you’re limiting the amount you are drinking, but can’t bypass the glass of wine. You beat yourself up for having no willpower. You call yourself all sorts of names and promise that you’ll work out harder, or eat even less tomorrow to compensate. And you may succeed, but are you happy? Usually we drive ourselves from a place of fear. Fear that the weight will return, that everyone around you will see the fraud you are. Fear that the success won’t last.

These are the behaviours that are driven by those unconscious programmes, ticking over quietly in the back ground. The thoughts that stop you from trying out for the basketball team, going for the promotion as supervisor, or manager, asking the girl out for coffee, maintaining a clutter free home, or doing well in your exam.

To change these incidious programmes you need to discover that they are there. Most of us are oblivious to the thoughts that we think. We continue on in our lives not looking at what we are doing and why.

As the quote above referred to, they are your constant companions, they can either make you or break you, push you forward into success or restrain you and lead you to failure. If you take the time to discover what you’re thinking, you can use this servant to create what ever you want, if you give it instruction and direction it will work for you. Train your thoughts, think on purpose, take the more difficult road and let your thoughts create momentum for you. If left unattended thoughts will take the easy road to failure, despair, and destruction.

Who am I? I am thought.

Becoming a good thinker is a discipline, which can be refined and cultivated.

  1. Find a place to think your thoughts.- It will attract good thoughts, possibly one good thought a day. Capture your thoughts. Write them down.
  2. Find a place to shape your thoughts. – Question your thoughts, clarify and scrutinize them until they have substance.
  3. Learning to write your thought/ideas is learning to gain clarity. You don’t know anything clearly unless you can state it in writing.
  4. Find a place to stretch your thoughts and ideas. Allow your thoughts to breathe. A man always has two reasons for doing anything, a good reason and the real reason. Sit with your thought and find the real reason.
  5. Find a place to land your thoughts and ideas. Land your thoughts within yourself. This gives you integrity. A) Do you believe the thought? B) Do you live the thought? C) Do I believe others should live it? If you answer yes to all three questions your thought/idea has landed.
  6. Find a place for your thoughts and ideas to fly.- A good idea is like a wheelbarrow, it will go nowhere unless you push it. timing is important to. “The right thought plus the right people in the right environment at the right time, for the right reason will give the right result.” John C. Maxwell

Develop the discipline of good thinking, explore, question, and challenge your thoughts, and turn it into a lifetime habit, and you will become more productive thorough-out your life.

Remember you are a creative being.

Thoughts create feelings, Feelings create habits, habits create a well lived life. Everything we do, we do for a feeling. Create that feeling on purpose.

Until next time, Live your most authentic live.

Linda Codlin.

If you liked this post leave a message @lindacodlin25

The unwelcome guest.

We decide the path we take.

Hello, My friends,

This week, I would say has been an extremely long one. You know the kind. You have lots of things you could be doing but you don’t actually want to do any of it. That was me.

Procrastination had moved in, he had unpacked his bags, and was getting pretty settled, encouraging me to do the next cross word, scroll through the next Facebook, Instagram page. To go for a walk around the block, Watch a bit of television, Eat a packet of biscuits.

Now, I’m all for rest and relaxation, when it’s time for that, and I knew that this was not resting or relaxing time. I was getting more frustrated with myself, because I was getting less and less done.

Now I’m pretty much someone who will practice what she preaches. So true to form, I get my notebook out and begin to coach myself. Looking at the procrastination, asking myself, “What is the feeling driving my avoidance?” then with fascination exploring the thoughts that are driving those feelings, and what feeling I really want to feel.

I would love to say, procrastination packed his bags and left straight away. He didn’t. He loitered around in the shadows of my mind, watching to see if I really meant for him to leave.

Every-time I flagged a little he would pipe up reminding me that Facebook was much more fun than doing my study. Asking leading questions like, “Why do you work out, no-one can see you?” “What’s wrong with having another chocolate biscuit?” ” Getting your assignment in this week isn’t a big deal?” “Look at the mess in your office, you can’t work in there.”

I felt like he was badgering me.

Let me share with you how I dealt with this uninvited, overstaying guest.

  1. Determine what type of procrastination you are facing.

For me I have four main types of procrastination:

a) The perfectionistic variety. This goes along the lines of, “You can’t do this properly, you don’t have all the skills, why start when you can’t get it right the first time?”

b) The fear of failing or doing it wrong. This one holds hands with the perfectionist. “What if you get it wrong, or fail, you’ll look like a fool. You’ll make a mess of it, people will laugh at you. You’ll have to do it again, what a waste of time and energy.

C) The feeling of being overwhelmed with too much to do. This classic one looks around and informs in a derogatory voice, look how much you’ve got to do, you’ll never get it all done, why bother? No-one cares whether you do it or not.

d) My goals are not sufficiently defined, no clarity. This one tags long behind the feeling of being overwhelmed, stating it’s too hard, I don’t know where to start? The job’s to big, I’ll never get it done.

2. Grab a piece of paper or your journal book. Take an honest look at what you are avoiding, Ask yourself questions like:

a) When I procrastinate how do I feel? Angry, sad, victorious, industrious, demotivated.

b) What form of procrastination am I using today to sabotage what needs to get done?

c) What is the emotion behind the action of procrastination? Fear, shame, embarrassment, depression, lack.

d) Is this emotion serving me? Leading me to where I want to be? Who I want to be? What I want to achieve? Yes or No!

e) What are the thoughts behind this emotion? I can’t. I’m not good enough? I don’t know how? Are these thoughts moving you forward? yes or no!

f) What thoughts would create a better emotion? I can give it a go and if it doesn’t work out the first time, I have more information to try something else. I have everything I need to begin where I am. I can do this. What is the worst thing that can happen? I have what it takes to handle it?

3. Make a plan. Using the information you discovered about yourself in step 2. Build a strategy.

Perfectionism: Near enough is good enough. I will work on this for x amount of time then I will reread it and submit it for marking.

Failing: What do I know about this subject? What more do I need to research? Begin now, with what I have and the skills available, I will learn as I go. Failing is a step on the path to success. it is feedback on an area that needs improvement. I want to improve and succeed.

Overwhelmed: List everything I want to do. Decide what is the most important area and begin. Pick one item and stay with it until it is complete. Set the timer, Focus for the allotted time no distractions. Then move onto the next item marching on down the list.

Unclear goals: Go to the end, to the place where I have achieved the goal I want. Think about who I have to be. (To get something I’ve never had, I have to be someone I’ve never been.)What skills do I need? Who do I need to work with? How does the woman who has achieved my goal think? Then reverse engineer the steps. Create clarity. Make a decision, then do the next thing that needs doing, build on that with the next step. always keeping in mind the end goal of what I want to have, do or be.

4. Move. Action will chase procrastination away. Act on your strategies. Guard your mind, procrastination is a tricky deceiver, and will use your thoughts against you. Keep your focus on what you want, why you want it and the strategy you have to do it.

This is how procrastination was evicted from my mind this week.

Remember

Your thoughts create your emotions

Your emotions create your actions

Your actions create your habits

Your habits create your well lived life.

Every thing you do is to feel a certain emotion.

Create that emotion on purpose.

Until next time. Live your most authentic life.

Linda Codlin.

Life is an Echo

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Life is an echo
What you send out, comes back.
What you sow, you reap.
What you give, you get.
What you see in others, exists in you.
Do not judge, so you will not be judged.
Radiate and give love, and love will come back to you.

Hello, My friends.

We’re into the third week of lock down, hubby and I have arranged our schedules to suit each other, we are beginning to find our new normal, our lives are smoothing out into a new rhythm.

My desire for you is, that within the lock-down you’re finding a new space for you and your family to change and adapt. To create fun and find new ways of interacting with each other positively.

Today I want to share with you a little bit about the law of opposites.

Einstein is quoted as saying, “With every action there’s an equal opposite reaction…..”

The law of opposites can also be called the law of cause and effect. We cannot take a breath in without giving one away. We reap what we sow. What we give, we receive. What we perceive to be in others, is actually in ourselves. The measure that we judge some-one is the measure we’ll be judged with.

More opposites are; male and female, in and out, up and down (think gravity, what goes up must come down), chaos and calm, good and bad, right and wrong, war and peace, winter and summer.

This reminds me of Helen Steiner Rice’s Poem.

Live Lavishly  
Live Abundantly

The more you give, the more you get,
The more you laugh, the less you fret,
The more you do unselfishly, the more you live abundantly,
The more of everything you share, the more you'll always have to spare,
The more you love, the more you'll find,
That life is good and friends are kind,
For only what we give away, enriches us from day to day.

It is in the contrast that we learn to appreciate what we have.

How can we know the ecstasy of pure joy, if we’ve never felt the sting of pain?

Often it is in the darkest place that our character is forged, where we become the beacon of light that leads and guides others through the rocky seas, like a lighthouse standing strong on the shore, guiding the boats into safer waters or warning of the perils ahead, if course corrections are not made. Lighthouses don’t go running around looking for boats for save, they stand firm and by their very nature are beacons we trust to guide our way in the stormiest of days.

It is in the darkness that seeds are sown. What seeds are you sowing in your life and in the lives of those around you? The seeds of fear or love, chaos or calm, discord or unity, doubt or trust. The seeds that are sown at this time may not germinate for years, laying dormant in the fertile soils of your mind or the minds of those closest to you. Or the constant watering and exposure to the things that you are thinking, watching on the television, or social media may cause these seeds to germinate and sprout quickly. Are you choosing the things that will cause the positive to bear fruit in your lives. What you sow , then fertilise will grow to be the strongest and healthiest characteristic?

Are you sowing kindness, forgiveness, thankfulness, understanding, tolerance, thoughtfulness, peacefulness and harmony. These are some of the character traits that will make you a lighthouse in the dark hours. A sturdy rock that your family can lean on, when it seems that their lives are on shifting sands.

As a universal law, whatever you think, and do will have an effect. You will get back what you give out, choose the very best things to give away.

Love is one of the things that the more you give, especially in an attitude of wanting the best for the person you’re giving it to, the more it will return.

If by any chance you are lost in the cavern of anxiety and fear, reach out to those you know can help you. Set yourself small measurable goals, things like get out of bed, and make it, have a shower and get dressed into something pretty or stylish, brush your teeth. Then rest on the couch. Set your timer for 1 hour. When the timer goes off, get up and go for a walk, if you are unable to go outside, walk the length of your house. Then put on a load of washing, or wash a sink full of dishes. then rest on the couch, with your timer for another hour. Begin: every-time the timer goes off with one extra length or lap of your house, then choose one or two jobs to do, then rest again.

At the end of the day, look back over what you have achieved and give yourself a pat on the back, tell you yourself out loud I am good enough, look at what I did today. Then repeat again tomorrow.

One other thing I’d suggest is having a look at what it is you’re thinking and dwelling on that is making you feel anxious or fearful. Can you nudge that thought just a little bit to “I’m safe.” “Right now, where I am, I am okay.” “This too shall pass.” “I am good enough.”

Remember: It is never anything outside of you that is creating your feelings, it is always a thought in your head.

The thoughts you think, create the feelings that you feel, The feelings you’re feeling, create the actions or in-actions that you do or don’t do, these actions or in-actions determine the life that you live, whether your life is one of hardship and fear, or one of peace and love.

Everything we do, we do to gain a feeling, find out what that feeling is, and create it on purpose and your life will change for ever.

Life is an echo: What are you putting out?

Till next time. Be your most authentic self.

Linda Codlin