Hello, My Friends
This week I had to opportunity to serve in a way that I least expected. It is amazing to me, how easy it is to give when you are not thinking about the pay back. In the situation I found myself, there was nothing for me to gain, only the joy and pleasure of giving.
When life serves you lemons, make lemonade. I’m sure you have heard this adage.
This week I decided to re-evaluate some of my boundaries. Living the principles I am speaking about keeps me authentic. While I put out the feedback that I wanted, I wasn’t prepared for the feelings that this simple request would stir up in me.
Feelings of failure, or not enough-ness, or rejection. These were the stories I was telling myself about the feedback I received. LIES, each and every one of them. The thing with boundaries is that I get to choose to live within mine, and other people get to live within theirs, and how some one else chooses to live in their boundary has nothing to do with my success or failure, my being good enough or not, my need to be accepted or rejected. Other people have the choice of responding to my boundary in whatever manner that pleases them. My responsibility is to myself, to hold true to my values, and my purpose.
What boundaries have you set, and what was the reaction within yourself around enforcing this boundary?
Today I want to talk about a little word, that often derails our best intentions.
It is a word that, when used in a certain way, undermines the statement before it. This little word is an escape clause. We tend to use it as a way out, or a way of justifying the eminent failure we perceive we will suffer.
I will go for a walk, if I feel like it later. Allows an out, of I didn’t feel like it later.
If the weather holds I’ll go fishing.
I’ll go looking for a home to purchase, if the bank approves my finances.
My house would be easier to keep tidy, if only the kids would help me.
I would have the respect of my peers, if only my boss would speak to me with respect.
In each of these examples we are hanging our future onto an external event. Nothing outside of us has the ability to shape us unless we allow it to. What if instead of I’ll go for a walk if I feel like it later, were to become at 4pm I am walking the block with the dog. Or if the weather holds I’ll go fishing became, it is too windy and rough for fishing today, the weather forecast is looking good for Friday, I’ll plan a trip then. Or I’ll go looking for a home to purchase if the bank approves my finances, becomes lets go and look at houses to see what we like, and what is in the price bracket we think we’ll be in while the bank figures our financial status.
By removing the if and replacing it with determined action, we are moving toward what we say we want.
Using if as a means of increasing your options. Often we think on a closed circuit, our thoughts run on the same line.
Using the what if, question format can spark a new thought train, and lead to more information and better decisions.
What if I went walking every day? This is an open ended question, What would happen if you went walking every day? You’d get fitter, You’d feel better in yourself, You’d be out of the house, or the office, You could work out a great time to go walking, figure out how to make walking a part of your everyday, to make it easy to do. You could visit different places, see new areas, and experience new opportunities that you wouldn’t normally be exposed to by staying home and not walking.
What if is a great question to ask when you are at a loss where to turn next, What if I did that that study? What if I didn’t? What if I dated the person? What if I moved to a new town? What would that look like?
What if is also very helpful for working out the worse case scenarios in our decision making processes. What if it doesn’t work out the way I want? What then? What is my back up plan? What if it does work out the way I want? What then? What do I need to do next?
When we use IF as a tool to enhance our future lives, it gives us options, it allows us to think beyond what is in front of us now. A positively used IF opens doors to your imagination. If I did this then maybe that might happen, (This is a two way door, be careful of the back swing, it may knock you off balance.)
It is my intention that by encouraging you to think about how you use the little words, IF, BUT, and AND, you will make better use of your brain.
Your brain needs to be directed, by using IF and AND constructively you can give your brain directions that will empower you into the future you want to live. By removing BUT from your vocabulary you eliminate stopping thoughts, replace the BUT with AND, then see the difference in how your mind opens up to different ways of thinking.
Until next time, give yourself the power of powerful words and statements to build the life you really want.
Leave a comment, of like if this has resonated with, I’d love to hear your point of view.
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