It’s the little things that make a huge impact.

What if…?

Why not…?

What now…?

When…?

Hello, My Friends

This week I had to opportunity to serve in a way that I least expected. It is amazing to me, how easy it is to give when you are not thinking about the pay back. In the situation I found myself, there was nothing for me to gain, only the joy and pleasure of giving.

When life serves you lemons, make lemonade. I’m sure you have heard this adage.

This week I decided to re-evaluate some of my boundaries. Living the principles I am speaking about keeps me authentic. While I put out the feedback that I wanted, I wasn’t prepared for the feelings that this simple request would stir up in me.

Feelings of failure, or not enough-ness, or rejection. These were the stories I was telling myself about the feedback I received. LIES, each and every one of them. The thing with boundaries is that I get to choose to live within mine, and other people get to live within theirs, and how some one else chooses to live in their boundary has nothing to do with my success or failure, my being good enough or not, my need to be accepted or rejected. Other people have the choice of responding to my boundary in whatever manner that pleases them. My responsibility is to myself, to hold true to my values, and my purpose.

What boundaries have you set, and what was the reaction within yourself around enforcing this boundary?

Today I want to talk about a little word, that often derails our best intentions.

It is a word that, when used in a certain way, undermines the statement before it. This little word is an escape clause. We tend to use it as a way out, or a way of justifying the eminent failure we perceive we will suffer.

‘IF’

I will go for a walk, if I feel like it later. Allows an out, of I didn’t feel like it later.

If the weather holds I’ll go fishing.

I’ll go looking for a home to purchase, if the bank approves my finances.

My house would be easier to keep tidy, if only the kids would help me.

I would have the respect of my peers, if only my boss would speak to me with respect.

In each of these examples we are hanging our future onto an external event. Nothing outside of us has the ability to shape us unless we allow it to. What if instead of I’ll go for a walk if I feel like it later, were to become at 4pm I am walking the block with the dog. Or if the weather holds I’ll go fishing became, it is too windy and rough for fishing today, the weather forecast is looking good for Friday, I’ll plan a trip then. Or I’ll go looking for a home to purchase if the bank approves my finances, becomes lets go and look at houses to see what we like, and what is in the price bracket we think we’ll be in while the bank figures our financial status.

By removing the if and replacing it with determined action, we are moving toward what we say we want.

Using if as a means of increasing your options. Often we think on a closed circuit, our thoughts run on the same line.

Using the what if, question format can spark a new thought train, and lead to more information and better decisions.

What if I went walking every day? This is an open ended question, What would happen if you went walking every day? You’d get fitter, You’d feel better in yourself, You’d be out of the house, or the office, You could work out a great time to go walking, figure out how to make walking a part of your everyday, to make it easy to do. You could visit different places, see new areas, and experience new opportunities that you wouldn’t normally be exposed to by staying home and not walking.

What if is a great question to ask when you are at a loss where to turn next, What if I did that that study? What if I didn’t? What if I dated the person? What if I moved to a new town? What would that look like?

What if is also very helpful for working out the worse case scenarios in our decision making processes. What if it doesn’t work out the way I want? What then? What is my back up plan? What if it does work out the way I want? What then? What do I need to do next?

When we use IF as a tool to enhance our future lives, it gives us options, it allows us to think beyond what is in front of us now. A positively used IF opens doors to your imagination. If I did this then maybe that might happen, (This is a two way door, be careful of the back swing, it may knock you off balance.)

It is my intention that by encouraging you to think about how you use the little words, IF, BUT, and AND, you will make better use of your brain.

Your brain needs to be directed, by using IF and AND constructively you can give your brain directions that will empower you into the future you want to live. By removing BUT from your vocabulary you eliminate stopping thoughts, replace the BUT with AND, then see the difference in how your mind opens up to different ways of thinking.

Until next time, give yourself the power of powerful words and statements to build the life you really want.

Leave a comment, of like if this has resonated with, I’d love to hear your point of view.

xoxo Linda

#authenticlivingwithlinda

Email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com

Find me on Facebook @authenticlivingwithlinda @lindacodlin25

Connect with me for a one on one coaching appointment.

We live the lies of our youthful years.

Education is not limited to a classroom,

Life gives us the lessons we most need to learn to grow into full maturity.

Think, Learn, Do, Teach. Repeat.

Hello, My Friends

As a new month has begun, I have been reflecting on how I have lived the last month.

Have I given my power away to others? Do I expect other people to rescue me?

How did I get on with the goals I set at the beginning of last month? Have I been living into the word I chose for this year?

It has been a little bit confronting to see I have allowed my potential to slip, the best part is that any day is a great day to turn around and pick up where I am right now. Without any nasty self judgment, or reprisals of failing.

By accepting that this is where I am now, I get to make better choices for this month and re-evaluate my goals, picking up from the lessons of last month and growing forward.

How about you? Do you have monthly goals that you want to achieve? Do your goals stretch you out of your comfort zone?

It is only when move out of the comfortable into the discomfort of growth that we find out who we really are and who we can really be.

Do you believe you are a smart human being?

What does smart actually mean? Does it mean educated? To whose standard?

Does smart mean clever? There are many gifted and clever people who have no idea that their talent is a gift that others don’t have the ability to emulate. If we planted a carrot seed, we expect to grow a carrot, right? Why then do we box people into being a certain way, and expect them to turn out being authentic individuals.

The road to authenticity is a very personal road. We may cross paths with people who are on a similar journey, and they may walk with us for a while, but our path is ours and it will be different to anyone else’s.

Do you believe you are smart, clever, gifted and talented?

I believe you are. You have skills and abilities that no-one else can replicate.

What system are you using to determine your value? Your value is in your humanness, if you are an artist being compared to a University graduate, are you any less a human.? No! You are valuable because you are human. Value is a very subjective thing, and the way you value yourself will determine how every one else will value you. If you are being undervalued, move, find where you will be truly valued.

Do you feel you failed in the education system of the day? Don’t feel bad, the education system is the beginning building blocks, one of it’s main aims was to teach masses of people to read, write and do basic mathematics, it is a system that teaches us to show up on time, follow directions and instructions, it taught us to sit still and be mindful of what the teacher was saying, without retort.

As an adult it is now part of our journey to unlearn some of the skills we learned at school.

It is important to use the basic skills we have been taught and build on them. Use the skill of reading to broaden our minds, to create pathways to deeper thinking. To uncover the talents that have been laying dormant, or not so dormant in our lives. There will be something in you that wants to go in a direction that may seem foreign to the formal education you have, or the guidance you received from family concerning your vocation.

Were you told you would never amount to much, because in the education system you kept talking to your friends and apparently weren’t paying attention. To discover, that as an adult you have wonderful negotiating skills, that have given you opportunities you never dreamed possible.

I am entirely certain that twenty years from now we will look back at education as it is practiced today and wonder that we could have tolerated anything so primitive.

John W Gardner

The things we have come to believe about ourselves are lies.

We don’t have poor concentration, we are not slow readers, we do not have to be demeaning and demoralising in the way we talk to ourselves, or others, it is not a competition. We do not need to live with low self-esteem, and low expectations. We do not have to be shy and afraid to speak in groups or in public, their is nothing wrong with our co-ordination, we can do things quickly and efficiently using less energy and better systems, we can celebrate our successes and learn from our failures. We have phenomenal memories.

I want to let you know, you are okay, you are not broken, the way you were taught to handle situations may have been skewed, you have been doing it right all the time-there is more than one way to learn. You have all the resources you need, you are more successful than you have been led to believe.

The ability to think and reason is a human attribute that sets you apart, from animals that run on instinct. As you awaken your ability to think for yourself, you will discover that you know more than you ever thought you did.

The thing about the way we were taught to learn is we digest information and move on to the next lot of information, gathering knowledge. Knowledge without action is of no use to any one.

If we were to do what we knew to do, our lives would change dramatically.

What holds us back? The programmes and beliefs of our youthful years. We don’t believe we can do it. We are like the trained elephant, who as a young calf was chained by the foot to a sturdy stake, it didn’t matter how much he pulled and yanked he couldn’t get free. Eventually he gave up trying and believed he was chained for life. As he grew the chain was removed, the elephant was free. He could walk away at any time, just he didn’t know it.

We are like the elephant, bound by unseen and unwritten rules.

It is setting big goals that cause you to stretch, and by listening to your inner intuition, which uses all the knowledge you have accumulated to formulate the best plan for you.

You have a fabulous mind, wake it up.

They way you think determines the life you live.

Challenge yourself to follow your authentic dream, the one that has been nagging you all your life.

Until next time, Set a goal, use your mind and thoughts for you, travel your journey to your authentic self, YOU are one of a kind.

Connect with me for coaching if you want to learn more about what stops you from living your authentic life.

If this has resonated with you leave a comment, or like, share this message with your friends.

xoxo Linda

#authenticlivingwithlinda

Email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com

Find me on Facebook @authenticlivingwithlinda @lindacodlin25

Connect with me for a one on one coaching appointment.

Fighting the Hand That Heals You.

I always say a tremendous amount of healing is in your own hands.

-Haley Mills.

Ask to receive,

Extend to give.

Hello, My Friends

We are on the flip side of winter, we’ve just had the shortest day, so the weather only gets warmer and sunnier. Or that’s what we tell ourselves.

Last week our ginger cat, decided he’d had enough. He’s a biggish cat, very heavy to lift, and has an attitude that won’t put up with people nonsense. Cats on the other hand, he’s always been a lover not a fighter, until last week. The neighbours black and white cat must have stolen his food one time too many and he wasn’t having it.

Hubby and I were watching tele, and could hear the low rumble of a cat in distress, heading to the food dish we found our ginger cat all puffed up and feeling pretty fiery, growling at the cat door.

We opened the back door to see what he was going on about and in a flash he was out the door, black fur mixed with ginger and white fur, they rolled around in the carport for a few minutes, before we could separate them. The black cat shot off down the drive into the night, Our ginger cat slunk under the car, to watch and make sure the other cat didn’t return that night.

I’m not sure what the other cat did to fire our ginger cat up, but he was stamping his foot and letting the other cat know he lived here, and others are not welcome.

What situation sees you putting your foot down, and saying no more. I will not tolerate this anymore.

Are we like the cat? Do we put up with being encroached on until we can’t handle it any more? Then with fire in our belly we attack the perceived offender.

Our cat suffered a few scratches and bites. He licked his wounds, but was unable to prevent one of them becoming infected. We took him to the vet for treatment. He was a pretty docile cat when I put him in the cage to travel the 5 kms into town, he cried all the way, telling me of his displeasure. At the vets he became more vocal as the foreign smells bombarded his senses.

Eventually it was our turn to see the vet. My lion cat was now so meek, he allowed the lady to shave him, to give him a tablet (which he would have clawed and chewed me to bits if I’d tried) and take his temperature, (ouch) without any movement. He was taken out the back for the abscess on his neck to be lanced. What a docile animal, I wish he’d be like that for me. The vet gave him his painkillers and antibiotic tablets and told me, “He needs to have two antibiotic tablets twice a day, and the painkiller paste once a day.” I’m thinking, ‘Yeah, right. he’s not going to sit for me like he did for her.’

Are we like my cat? We fire up and let people know we are not going to be walked on anymore, things are going to change, that things will be different now. Then after the confrontation we keep guard watching to see who will step over the line we have drawn. And lick our wounds, maybe we didn’t we expect that the other party would have a response of some sort to our outburst. Maybe our feelings were hurt and we’ve had to step away to regroup.

Maybe like our ginger the wounds have become infected, and are taking our attention away from more important things. We meekly sit and allow circumstances to happen around us, not taking any responsibility or effort to use what is happening.

On the short trip home he hardly made a noise, I made up a bed for him so he could sleep of the pain. Before long it was my turn to give him two antibiotic tablets. Goodness me, there was no sitting still and letting me pop them in his mouth, no! I had to corner him, wrap him in a towel (for my safety, his claws are very sharp) then pry his mouth open without touching his wound. Oh! what a mission. He is one stubborn cat. I am also stubborn, and I’m determined he is having his meds, and we are not going back to the vet for this injury. After much tousling I succeeded. Phew! Five days to go.

Do we fight against the very things that bring us health, wealth and happiness?

Like the cat, do we dig our toes in, and fight, squirming and twisting in all directions to worm our way out of the dilemma we find ourselves in. What if we surrendered? If we let it be, if we learned to look at the bigger picture. I knew that by giving the cat these tablets it would prevent further future heart ache for him and for me. What if the situations we find ourselves in, were part of a bigger plan, a plan that is conspiring to bring about our health, wealth and happiness? Would we still fight it so hard?

We are now on day three with the cat, we purchased a gadget that helps the tablet to get into the back of the cats throat easily, I enlisted the help of hubby, and the cat seems to be more accepting of his pill taking escapades. I wrap him in the towel, (to protect me from the ginger hair explosion, that happens every time you touch him) I hold his mouth open and hubby drops the tablets one at a time into his mouth. Yay!

Some times we need help to maintain our goals and our standards, we needed help to get the tablet into the cats throat, and I needed to ask for help to get the cat held and dosed. What if you are in a position where you need help? Often help is just a question away, but because of pride, or sorrow or guilt we think we can’t ask for help.

If you require assistance, Ask. Do your research, find out what you need to know, seek out who is best to help you. If you ask the wrong person you may not get the help you need. If you ask the right person but the wrong question you may still not get the right help. Keep asking and gaining clarity to know what the right question is and who the right person to ask is, then ask and keep on asking, varying the way the question is asked until you get what you need to make the transition you want.

What is the worst that will happen? You ask and you don’t get, if you didn’t ask you still wouldn’t have gotten anything. You are now a little closer to getting because you know one question that didn’t work with this person at this time. Ask again, and keep asking. No is not personal, it is a clue that you need to keep moving forward, studying and investigating other options. The word ‘no’ flipped over is ‘on’ when you get a no, flip it and move on.

Our ginger cat has a vendetta against the neighbour’s cat, we have found evidence of more fighting with black and ginger hair tangles over our property. He is standing his ground and letting the neighbour know exactly where the boundaries are, ginger is saying “no” to the black cat, and is defending his stand.

Be like the ginger cat, and choose the values that are important to you, and create standards to live by to live into your values. Also set boundaries around your standards and keep intruders and imposters out. Your standards are yours to live into.

Be your authentic self, ask for help when you need it, set your boundaries around your standards and use what ever you are currently going through as a tool to create a better future for you and your loved ones.

Until next time.

xoxo Linda.

#authenticlivingwithlinda

Email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com

Find me on Facebook @authenticlivingwithlinda @lindacodlin25

Connect with me for a one on one coaching appointment.

Silence, Isolation and Secrets.

Speak

Connect

Share

Shame cannot live where love and light shines.

Hello, My Friends

This week has flown by, we have been busy yet it seems like we aren’t any further ahead of our to do list.

One of my focus’ this week has been on cleaning up the house.

It’s almost the middle of winter and it seems like all the dust and dirt settles in for the winter. The surfaces have a layer of dust sprinkled over them, the kitchen seems to have accumulated items that don’t belong in the kitchen.

Usually I am a tidy bug, I put away and clean up after myself. My motto for years has been don’t put it down, put it away. However this past month or so, I have been doing a wee experiment with myself.

In Facebook I have been looking at the twins of guilt and shame in relation to judgment.

My self talk, was very judgmental. As a child I internalised the point of view that there was something wrong with me, when ever I was told off or punished, I took it to mean it was my fault, and as such I could fix it. I turned into the fix-me- I’m-broken person.

Have you ever sat in the middle of the floor, kids toys strewn every-where wondering what you are doing, and how you got here?

That was me, I promised myself I’d be better, and I was. I worked out systems on how to keep my home clean, especially once I got a home that I could clean easily.

My house was nearly tidyish, all the time, and if it was messy it would take less than 30 mins to straighten it out.

Judgment of myself and others was rife in my life. I figured that as a sub-standard person I didn’t deserve nice things and never expected or anticipated having nice things, I also had a fear that when I did have nice things they would be taken off me.

Looking back I’m amazed that I survived. Every day, probably 50 times a day I beat myself up, I reminded myself that I was useless, worthless and unlovable.

Can you relate? Do you feel like you are being swallowed by an ogre of disgust?

As I grew and changed, I realised something about judgment, it was a mirror. It mirrored what I was thinking and believing on the inside, in the deepest parts of my soul, to the outside world. It was like people around me could read me like a book and they were writing the story, setting up situations and events that triggered me to be less than I could be. It also mirrored what I believed other people thought about me. With a self belief that I wasn’t worthy, I allowed people to treat me badly without even being aware of it.

Depression and continual sadness is like a blanket that we hide under, it coats our soul and our true essence until we can’t see it any more. When we are in a dark space it is hard to believe that we are important to anyone, the darkness settles like dust on the surfaces of an unlived in house.

Some times we know the darkness is looming, yet we don’t seem to be able to pull back the curtains on the windows of our souls and let the light and love of those around us in. The light is too bright, the kindness is too hard to accept, an outstretched arm is to be avoided for fear of being tricked. We tend to curl up in the corner of our lives and shrink away from others.

Shame is like that, it creates disconnection in us, and with other people. We isolate thinking we’ll be safe. Some times we isolate as a test to see who will notice if we’re not there. We are asking, Will they miss us? Will they reach out to us? We build a story around the isolation that no-one really cares. What we don’t see, is the friendly outstretched arms, of family and friends who are trying to help, they’re reaching out, shining what light they have, encouraging us to join in. We misinterpret their good will as being judgie, nosy, or interfering. We mirror our belief about ourselves onto the helpers.

Shame keeps us small, invisible and silent. We hold onto deeds done to us in the years past, as though they happened today. We keep the secrets of our youth and childhood in fear that if others knew we really would be alone, isolated and exposed. We feel safe in keeping our secrets.

Secrets are poison they ooze toxic thoughts and beliefs into your soul, secrets feed depression, sadness and shame.

It is time to open the curtain a crack, let some-one you trust in to your shadows. It is time to speak to some-one about the things you hold onto, the events that have happened in your past that have you bound and unable to get free, even though you try and try and try.

It is time to reach out to your family and friends, to extend your hand to them and receive the support they are trying to give you. This process is messy, it is painful for everyone, it gives everyone the chance to grow.

Learning to let the secrets out and to grieve the hurt is turbulent and emotional. Letting shame go, learning to see yourself as worthy, and learning to believe it, takes courage.

Do you have the courage to open the door of silence and secrets, to release shame and the darkness that shame holds close?

Find a coach, or counselor, some-one you can trust to guide you on this path. Shame is sneaky and doesn’t like to leave easily, and generally will fight to stay.

You may even find yourself fighting for the shame and the habits that no longer help you but are comfortable to you. This is where support is so important.

It is my intention that you will be strong and reach out, you will see that there is hope for you, that you are cared for, that you are worthy and you always have been. I would love to hear your story and how you are moving along the path.

Part of my experiment was to leave the housework undone and see what judgment reared its head, whose voice it was that I heard, and how true these accusations were?

I was facing my fears and my guilt and shame, I realised the state of my home didn’t make me anything. I could still be me in a messy space as well as I could be me in a tidy space. I also discovered I prefer tidy and organised.

Cleaning house can be so therapeutic, Dusting, sweeping, wiping and clearing off surfaces. Eventually every thing is in it’s right place, and order is restored. I continue to be me, with a little less baggage.

Be brave and take the hand of some-one who wants to help you be your true authentic self.

xox Linda

#authenticlivingwithlinda

Email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com

Find me on Facebook @authenticlivingwithlinda @lindacodlin25

Connect with me for a one on one coaching appointment.

Bringing Back Broken Hearts to Health.

Every Time Your Heart is Broken,

A Doorway Cracks Open to a World Full of New Beginnings

and New Opportunities.

You Just Don’t Know it Yet.

Patti Roberts
Dan Meyers unsplash.com

How does the broken heart heal?

I have been thinking about the broken hearted, people who have had loved ones move on and out of their lives.

People who have experienced set backs and knock downs. Disappointments that kicked so hard the centre of their world has shifted.

It seems like the whole world is against you, that every thing you do is twisted and used against you.

You feel small and alone, vulnerable. Like no-one cares.

You feel weary to your core, so tired that putting one foot in front of the other is a chore.

Your heart has been ripped out and a slab of stone has replaced it.

Every thing you know to be true has shifted, and you feel lost, unsure, your confidence has been shaken and evaporated like a puddle of water on a hot day.

Your tears fall in seemingly endless streams, your heart feels like it will never heal. You sob until you can sob no more, then anger sets in, you are so mad. Mad at god, mad at partners, mad at family, mad at kids, mad at the car service man. Your anger runs deep and frighteningly heavy.

Broken hearts do mend.

I know how easy it is to want to erect walls around your heart to protect yourself from harm ever again. If you are like me, you will promise that you will never allow yourself to be in this position again.

I’ll tell you a story that a wise woman once told me. I went through a life shattering event in my life. This event had it’s fingers in every area of my life. There was nothing that was untouched. My heart broke. My dreams squashed like bugs on the windscreen. People I thought were friends, were not. I felt alone, ashamed and embarrassed. My life had been sucked right out of me.

Only it wasn’t, I was still breathing, I was still moving, I still had people who depended on me.

I felt I had to hold everything together, even in the face of financial hardship, emotional abandonment, family disdain and rejection.

My heart was so broken that I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t think, I barely breathed. Trying to hold onto the shards of the life I’d worked so hard to create to watch it crumble to dust and be blown away.

Eventually I reached out for help. It’s amazing who rallies around you when you are broken hearted, this wise woman answered a question I posed one day. I still hadn’t wept, it was all bottled up in my broken heart. I felt that if I let the door open even a little, the dam would break and I’d be washed away. Never to be seen again.

On this particular day, I sat at the table, with the tissues sitting ominously in front of me, daring me to break the dam, and my inner resolve was, “No way, I don’t cry in front of others. ” I looked at this lady and asked, “How do I put my life back together like it was, when my life is like a mirror that has been shattered into a million pieces all over the floor.” ” I don’t even know if I can find all the pieces, and I don’t know where to begin.”

She reached out and took my hand, looked me in the face, and said, “Linda, you don’t put it back together, you create a new life. You take the bits you like and you leave the rest and build anew.”

This was the first time I’d let this concept sink in to my soul.

My heart was still broken, I was still running on empty, my emotions were still in lock down, I was still doing the necessary things to care (As well as I could) for those in my charge.

The only difference was now I had hope. I had the trickle of hope that I could put every thing together again, it wouldn’t be the same, but it would be.

I began to search for me. In the middle of this heart break, I had been told there was a part of me that could never be broken, a part of me that was essential to who I was. When I found her, she would be the beginning of a more authentic life.

I discovered that I was not broken, that from this heart ache, some of the best blessings emerged.

The fire cleansed me. Did I have a lot of emotional baggage? “Yes” and it is an ongoing journey.

Is there hope for you, who have a broken heart? “Yes”

Is the road to health easy? “No, however it is worth it”

Did my river of tears swallow me? “It felt like it at the time, and those tears also cleaned away a lot of the hurt.”

It is my desire for you if you are hurting, if your heart is breaking or has been broken, if you are facing disappointment, to hang on.

You are valuable, you have a story to tell that no-one else can tell, your story is the life line for another person going along a similar path as you.

Listen to the wise woman’s words, ” You can’t put yourself back together as you were, you have to create a new life.” Find the core of who you are, the piece of you that can never be broken and begin from there.

If you want help to find that core, and to build a new life, to heal your broken heart, and collect yourself from the disappointment, connect with me for coaching.

The grass is greener on the flip side, wings work better without heavy emotional baggage.

Lean into your authentic self, know you are not alone, you are not broken and you never have been.

xox Linda Codlin

#authenticlivingwithlinda

Email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com

Find me on Facebook @authenticlivingwithlinda @lindacodlin25

Connect with me for a one on one coaching appointment.

Release Resistance, Style Serenity

Serenity is not freedom from the storm,

But peace amid the storm.

S A Jefferson-Wright

Whatever you resist you become. If you resist anger, you are always angry. If you resist sadness, you are always sad. If you resist suffering, you are always suffering. If you resist confusion, you are always confused. We think that we resist certain states because they are there, but actually they are there because we resist them.

Adyashanti

Picture by Igor Kasalovic Unsplash.com

Hello, My Friends

Welcome to the last week in May. Do you find that as you get older, time seems to pass so quickly? That has been my week. Hubby has been teaching me to play pool. Oh my goodness, does my brain have a heyday? Hubby tells me how to hold the cue, in my mind I’m doing what he says, but no I’m all awkward like having five thumbs. My mental chatter starts with an innocent, you’re so bad at this, you should quit while you’re ahead. I remind my brain I’m learning, when you’re learning you don’t get it right first time. Round One to me. Then hubby tells and shows how to break, success I hit it perfectly and a ball goes into the pocket, I’m feeling pretty good, confident even. I’ve got this. Chatter decides now is a good time to remind me of beginners luck. Who coined that phrase? Next three hits and the white ball shoots into the pocket, dang, this is not as easy as he makes it look. While I’m messing around aiming at and missing the balls and sinking the white, he’s clearing the table. Self talk 101, oh my goodness, the negative chatter begins. I’m glad I have the tools to shut that negative lady down, which I do. What I find amazing is how quickly my brain runs to beating me up for not being as good as some-one else. Actually there is no comparison. He’s had years of practice at the angles and pace and pressure that needs to be applied. While I’m a very new beginner. Am I giving up? No! I figure I need more practice and tuition. Will you find me at the club more often? I think yes. If I want to get better I need to practice better skills. The same applies to my mind. Mental chatter is going to happen, I expect it, it tells me where I can improve, it is a mirror to how I really view myself. What my beliefs are and it gives me a heads up on how to grow and expand my thinking.

What about you? Are you aware of your mental chatter? What does it tell you about yourself? Do you like what it is saying?

If you don’t, you can change it. I can give you the skills to hone and practice to create more of what you do want.

Well, that was a bit of a Linda rant.

What I really want to chat about is resistance?

What would a life without resistance look like?

There are a few definitions of resistance, so I want to clarify the two that I’ll be mentioning. The first is the act of fighting against something that is attacking you or refusing to accept or be changed by something. The second is using words or behaviour, knowingly or not, as a means of defense and deflection.

That is quite a definition and deserves to be read again.

So, what would your life look like if you didn’t resist the uncomfortable, or unpleasant events in your life?

Would you feel like you were loosing control, and that the whole thing you have built your life upon would collapse? I did.

Do you resist the things you perceive are good for you? Now you may say, ” Why on earth would we do that?” I’d say, “Because you don’t believe you are worthy of good things, or nice things, or pleasant things.” Maybe you think you need to be punished for something you perceive you have done wrong in the past. So enjoyment and pleasure are out of bounds for you.

Do you resist the things you perceive that are bad for you? You may say, “Well, yes of course, wouldn’t anyone?” My question is, “What makes it a situation bad, or what makes it good?” Our thoughts about it do.

If an event happened and you had no thoughts about it, you would have no reaction to it, no resistance or attraction. It’s our thoughts that create our view and it’s our view that creates how we respond, (action with conscious choice) or react, (action without conscious choice) to any situation.

For some weird reason we think the more we push against something, the easier it will be to overcome, or to get our own way. We push and strive and fight with all our might against the perceived enemy, wearing ourselves out and nothing actually changes.

Once we learn to accept what is, as it is. Hidden doors open to show ways around or through the situation. We open ourselves to lessons that we would never have been party to if we’d continued to fight. Some times the very thing we are fighting against is the thing we really want, it is just inside out and doesn’t look like we expect it to.

Often we fight so hard for something because we are afraid of what we might be losing. Or we think we have to fight for a belief we have held onto for most of our lives, even though it doesn’t serve us any more. We fight against people who are trying to help us because we think they are going to hurt us in a way we were hurt in the past. We feel like we are losing control, so we fight harder and cling on tighter to the very things that are causing us pain and harm.

We focus on what we believe we will lose. What we focus on grows. What you feed gets stronger.

What we often don’t realise is that we are creating the drama we are feeling, ourselves. Our way of thinking about any situation is how we view any situation. If you weren’t directly involved and a friend was explaining the same situation to you, but about someone you didn’t know and didn’t have any reason to be triggered or invested in the outcome, would you have the same response? I’d say most likely not.

As we learn to lean into the changes that life brings to us, looking for the lessons, the opportunities and the blessings, we are more likely to find them, when we accept what is, we discover that we can find a way through it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying all situations will disappear because you stop resisting them, I’m saying when you give up the energy expenditure of fighting and resisting, you can put that energy to better use, in finding solutions, or creating new ways to view the obstacle. See if you can find the rainbow, see what growth that is in the situation. And sometimes there is nothing you can do but accept that it is, as it is. This releases your inner energy and creates peace and harmony, serenity, between your body, brain and emotions. Which often allows for grace to flow to and through you.

Often we make a situation mean something about ourselves, we take it personally, we make it mean we are bad, or unworthy, or not valued, under appreciated. We make a situation mean whatever our self esteem needs us to make it mean for us to live where we are, they way we are. If we accepted the situation as it is, and stepped away from our perceived loss or gain we may find the solution is wrapped within us.

We can’t see the opportunity because all our energy is being spent struggling against how we perceive the situation will affect us. By releasing the resistance, we make room to see the blessing.

When we begin to learn to trust that everything that happens to us is actually happening for us, and is for our benefit, we begin to see the growth and reap the rewards of peace, harmony, and serenity allowing our electromagnetic energy to flow through us without any hindrance.

So this week, my challenge to you, is to look at where you feel stuck and see what you are resisting and investigate ways in which you can release the tension a little, by accepting that it is the way it is right now.

xox Linda Codlin

I would love the opportunity to show you how you can have more ease and flow in your life. To release the resistance and see the silver lining.

#authenticlivingwithlinda

Email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com

Find me on Facebook @authenticlivingwithlinda @lindacodlin25

Connect with me for a one on one coaching appointment.

ACTION- I ACT ON

Action or Inaction

You are only one decision away

from taking charge of your life.

Make one great decision,

over and over until you get,

the results you want.

Hello, My Friends

This week has been inspiring, I have been having interesting conversations that are stretching my thinking. Isn’t it wonderful that our brain and thinking are not set in concrete.

This week hubby purchased an old table and chairs, it is his intention to restore them to their former glory. The table is scratched and scarred, it looks like it has seen many meals and conversations up till now. Imagine if it could talk what would it tell us. It could relay plans that were hatched, stories of sadness and joy, would it have been party to confidential goings on in the dead of night? Would it tell of romances blossoming and family meals of laughter, arguments and strong disagreements about politics and religions?

The table will carry all these secrets to it’s final days, never actually telling us of the joys and sorrows it has witnessed.

What is an action, when it is not in motion? It is a thought or an idea that is being worked on. An action is a noun, it names what is or has been done, or accomplished. Action names the cause and effect of a behaviour, it describes the activity that is being done to accomplish an outcome.

I’ve been thinking about action and inaction. Can we ever be in a state of inaction?

If we are not choosing to behave in a certain manner by intent, are we not behaving in another, or allowing someone else to determine how we act. Whether we choose or don’t choose to act we have still chosen. Action or inaction is a choice we make, even when we procrastinate until the decision is ‘made’ for us, we have still made a choice.

This gets a bit hairy, if we take this thought through to its end, everything we do and don’t do comes down to a decision we make or don’t make. By not choosing we have made a choice, by putting off doing what needs to be done, we have made a decision, by confronting some one or some thing head on we have made a decision.

The upshot of this is I am always responsible for my action or inaction. Everything that happens in my life is in direct relation to what action or inaction has been taken. Now it may appear that I am saying that you asked for all the things that happen in your life. I’m not, some things are beyond your control, people behave in ways that affect you when you least expect it. What you do have the ability to take responsibility for, is your part in the event, and how you will allow the event to manifest in your future. You get to choose the action or inaction you want to take.

Action is the deed or gesture taken, it is the activity, or the process of doing something. We are always in the process of doing something, as humans we never stop, our heart is beating, our lungs are inhaling and exhaling. And when they’re not we’re in trouble.

As humans we are in a constant state of motion, our heart pumps our blood around our body, our conscious mind and subconscious mind are in a perpetual state of movement.

How do you choose to take action? Do you leave the decision making up to others?

Why would you do that? What is the benefit you are getting from letting others make your decisions for you?

Action is the anagram of I ACT ON.

What do you act on? What makes you take action in any area of your life and not other areas? This is a sure fire way of discovering your values. You will always stand up for your core values. It may take a bit of pushing from people outside you for you to push back, it is in the push back that your value will be found. Ask yourself, when you push back. Why is this important to me? What is being violated? and keep on asking these questions, writing down the answer, and keep going deeper. Once you have found one of your core values you will have a reason to take action. To make an informed decision.

I ACT ON is an affirmation. This week in my authenticlivingwithlinda Facebook page I have been covering the Perspective Spectrum of affirmations.

Write out your value, then add I ACT ON in front of it. For example, I act on honesty. I act on freedom, I act on beauty, I act on humility.

Authentic living with Linda is based on wisdom and truth wrapped in every day events. My affirmation could be I ACT ON Wisdom. I ACT ON Truth. I ACT AUTHENTICALLY.

Then my choice would be to run my decision, thoughts and actions through the filter of I Act …. and make the necessary adjustments to my behaviour to fit the affirmation.

Not easy to do in the heat of a conversation, or when I’m tired and want to cut corners to finish up sooner.

Your challenge for this week is to look at where you take action or inaction. Do you like the results of your action or inaction? What would give you better results?

You and only you have the ability to alter your actions, or inactions in any given moment.

You can do a YOU TURN at any time you want to.

I can help you turn your actions or inactions into choices that will make a difference to the results you see and feel.

If this has resonated with you, and where you are on your journey, please leave a comment, like or share it with your friends.

xox Linda Codlin

#authenticlivingwithlinda

Email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com

Find me on Facebook @authenticlivingwithlinda @lindacodlin25

Connect with me for a one on one coaching appointment.

Radars and Transmitters all go!

What you put out you get back.

Check your transmitter is in top working order

Check your sending signal is strong and accurate

Check your authentic self is sending the signal.

Hello, My Friends

I’m trusting this is finding you safe and well, with all the unrest in the news at the moment, it is easy to get distracted and drawn into energy draining conversations.

Do you ever feel like you are treading water?

You are doing the same things, in the same way every day.

Do you feel inferior to others around you, like you’re quite as good as they are? Or do you feel a little superior, like there is no way you’d ever do what they did?

This week I have noticed a theme in the clients I have spoken to.

You are a perfect being!

Let me say that again, You are a perfect being, you have been created perfectly. Your being has everything it needs.

I have been hearing how broken you think you are. You are not broken. You never have been, nor will you ever be broken.

When you are watching the television, and it suddenly goes snowy and hazy. What is your first thought. Oh no! the TV’s on the blink. You flick through a few of the other channels to see if they are working, they’re not. You may put a DVD on to see if you can get a picture. That works.

What are you doing? You are problem solving, You are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing.

You follow the wires on the TV making sure everything is plugged in correctly, you turn the TV off and on to reset it. Still it is running all hazy and snowy. You check on a TV in another room and it is the same. You figure it must be the receiver aerial that is not picking up or transmitting the signal from the transmission tower.

You are a perfect being. You are not broken, your finances are not broken, your relationships are not broken.

What is broken is your radar, and transmitter. You have been receiving false signals.

These false signals have masqueraded as truth.

The way you see yourself and believe yourself to be, determines what you do, the vibrational signals you send out into the Universe and this determines the results you get back in your life.

How much time are you spending in the past?

How much of your thought energy is being spent on remembering and rehashing the past events of your life?

You can not relive those events, they are past, gone. The only thing you can relive is the emotional response you have to your perception of the event.

What if I told you there is a way you can reframe those thoughts and emotions, would you want to let them go?

Often you are so attached to the events of your past, they are the story of who you think you are. you have wrapped your identity up in these events. Let me tell you, they are not you. They do not have to define you. You can choose to define yourself from your future and the things you want for yourself.

You are a perfect being.

Repairing your radar and your transmitter will give you a better signal of who you really are.

It is my belief that each one of us knows instinctively who we are.

We know who we are and who we are meant to be, every now and then something sparks that feeling of knowing deep within. This gives you a twinge of not being enough, it gives you a twinge of how ‘broken’ you think you are.

This twinge is the door to change. It is the door to moving steps closer to the person you know you are.

You see, when we were born we were born perfect. We have everything we need to grow within us, we have the ability to generate love and affection in our parents, we are vocal when we have a need and we expect that the need will be met. We are confident. We are not concerned with how we look to others, we are not afraid to try new things, we are willing to trust. We have no fear. We are perfect spiritual energetic beings.

Your perfection is still within you. You were given a seed, you are a spiritual energetic being, your spirit or energy connects you with the seed you have been given. All your life in one form or another you have been trying to find ways to let this seed come to light.

Repair the radar and transmitter, allow yourself to tune into your energetic vibrational self.

You are perfect, by changing the channel you are tuned in to, you will begin to change the results in your life. You will move away from drama, you will erect safety barriers around you, and only the things you want in your circle will be allowed in, and all the things you don’t want will be allowed to leave. You will feel the health return to your body, as you make decisions from a place of loving yourself.

As you begin to choose to live, you will find the shadows of death leave.

Where there was darkness and cold, the light and warmth will appear.

Where there was mistrust and judgment, trust and acceptance will reside.

Where there was fear and scarcity, you will discover love and abundance.

You are perfect.

Allow me to be part of your journey to peace and freedom, to life and transformation.

Allow me to help you repair your radar and transmitter.

Clarity and truth are waiting to be released from within you.

You are perfect, and you have a seed of greatness within you.

Until next Time

Seek to unleash the spirit energy within you, move towards your authentic self.

xox Linda Codlin

Please leave a comment, and share if this resonates with you and your journey.

#authenticlivingwithlinda

Email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com

Find me on Facebook @authenticlivingwithlinda @lindacodlin25

Connect with me for a one on one coaching appointment.