What About Success?

Hello My Friends,

Last week, I asked you to be aware of what you were thinking, How did you get on?

This week, I’ve been thinking about what success looks like to me. When I ask myself the question, “How am I living in abundance today?” (This is linked to my WOY (word of the year)) I somehow slide into thinking about success, and how I can be successful? I’ve noticed that the underlining thought is that I’m not successful yet. Which when I look at the facts is actually untrue. I am very successful.

The dictionary defines success as “The accomplishment of one’s aim or purpose.” “The attainment of wealth, position, and honours.”

Success seems to be a term that comes loaded with guilt, The guilt of not having achieved “success” by a ‘certain age’, or having a ‘certain life style’. On the flip side there is the guilt of having ‘the life style’, and having ‘achieved wealth’.

Success as a generality is a term of comparison, “Are you successful compared to your peers?” “Are you successful compared to what your parents expectations are?” How does society expect a person who has achieved success to behave, to live?” “Are you successful if you have a large bank balance?” Are you successful if you are married?” Are you successful if you have children?”

Does that mean you’re not successful, if you’re not like your peers? or you haven’t lived up to your parents expectations? or your bank account doesn’t have multiple zeros after the digits? or you are single? or childless? I think not.

Who defines what success is?

I believe we each define our own version of success.

We live in an abundant world, “The accomplishment of one’s aim or purpose” is an open ended invitation to be and do or have whatever we want. If your version of success is owning your own home, go for it, if your version of success is travelling the world, go for it, if it’s having children, do it. If you are prepared to do the things that will enable you to accomplish your aim or purpose, you can have success.

To me that’s the external success taken care of.

What defines the internal success?

You know, the kindness, the spitefulness, the love, the anger, the confidence, the cowardice, the peace, the jealousy, the gentleness, the harshness, the joy. The way we treat ourselves when no-one else is watching. These are the things that are not so easy to pinpoint as successes. I believe these attributes are every bit as important as the external successes. The thoughts that drive these attributes define how we behave, what we achieve, how well we live our lives in the every day.

You are successful, when you show you care about yourself by eating with mindfulness, by going for a walk when you don’t feel like it, when you sit with your anger and let it tell you what’s really going on under the event.

You are successful, when you walk into the board room confident in your abilities, when you respond to your children’s demands in an appropriate manner, when you sit and cry because your heart is breaking, when you bite your tongue instead of spewing out the venom that you want to. These are the greatest successes, these are the successes that go unseen and unappreciated.

You are successful, I am successful.

My definition of success is “I choose to think on purpose, to allow all my thoughts a place to be observed, to keep those that work for me and redefine those that don’t serve me, I choose to act on those thoughts that bring me closer to my goals, aims and purpose. I notice and celebrate when I succeed in taking a step closer to the me I want to be.”

In closing, what is your definition of success?

Remember you define what success looks like to you.

This week, set yourself a goal and work toward it, celebrating every step forward as a success. You can succeed, one thought at a time.

Have a successful week, Be your authentic self, until next time.

Linda Codlin

Be the creator!

Hello, My friends,

I’m sitting in my office, I just observed our short haired ginger cat slink into the master bedroom. He knows he’s not supposed to be in there. If I were to have a look for him, he’d be under the bed hiding.

How many times do we do things that we know we shouldn’t, and hide out in fear of being discovered.

It could be eating an entire packet of biscuits once the kids have gone to bed, or drinking a bottle of wine every night, or purchasing yet another dress, which we stuff into our over full wardrobe.

We feel guilty because we know better and we beat ourselves up – silently – inside our heads, where no-one else can see.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Let me tell you what I know.

Everything you and I do is to feel a certain way, or to not feel a certain way. We overeat, over drink, over shop, over anything and you know your own devices, We do it to quell the feelings inside us. You know, it’s the “I’m not good enough,” “I can’t provide, I don’t earn enough,” “Life is hard on me,” ” As I child my …..” These are the programmes running in the back of our lives.

I have learned that every emotion (feeling) comes from a thought inside my head. That thought creates an energetic vibration within my body, (My feelings), and it’s these emotions that I’m trying to run away from. I’ve had limited success in changing my outside behaviour, but, I’d always slipped back into my default habits, cursed myself for not having the will power, or stickability to stay with my goal. Then I’d go back to over indulging in my go vice, to cover up my shame, to try to silence the voice in my head telling me some very nasty stories.

We can silence that inner critic, come out into the open, stop slinking about, hiding under the bed like the cat. By learning to own our emotions. Not acting on them, just watching them, feeling the feeling, noticing where it sits in our body, observing the thoughts that are running wild in our minds.

For me, this process is extremely scary. I am the type of person who “needs” to be in control, and when my emotions are running around like unruly children, I want to squash them into submission, put them back in the box. Just watching, noticing without action is hugely uncomfortable. However the more I observe, I notice that my type of story is nearly always the same, “I’m not good enough.”

I have learned that I can change this story. I discovered that I’m not broken, I never was, that was a lie I picked up along the way. I am a creator. WE are all creators, we always have been, we just didn’t know it.

The secret to creating is in our thoughts. Choosing the thoughts that feel good, thinking from a place of confidence, abundance and joy. Acknowledging all our feelings, the so called good and bad feelings, they all have a part to play in the women we are becoming.

Remember this is a process, as the hair ad, said, ” It won’t happen over night, but it will happen.”

Create your new life one thought at a time. This week, notice what you say to yourself when you think you’ve fallen off the “wagon” whatever your particular wagon is. Then try a little experiment, Imagine you are a small child learning a new skill, how would you encourage that child to try again, when they think they can’t do it? Encourage yourself, just as you would a small child, “You can do it, You are good enough.” Say to yourself, “I am good enough, I have got this, I can do it.” Then watch, do you notice a change in how you feel.

Have a great week, Be your authentic self, See you next time.

Resolutions

Hello My Friends,

The new year is upon us, we’re 6 days into the new year.

Did you create a list of new year’s resolutions?

Are they the same or similiar to previous years?

How are you going with your execution?

For me I’ve written lists of to do’s for ever. (And I still do, it’s in my DNA )

I’m a list queen. And I’d accomplish most everything on my list.

I’d set my determination to Go!

I’d have the satisfaction of crossing the item off my list and seeing the fruits of my labour producing the outcomes I desired.

That is so long as it didn’t involve losing weight or listening to my inner self. I became the mistress of taking my excess weight off, then I would regain it whenever a life event happened. This is still a work in progress. This year my aim is to listen to my inner Linda and figure out what is behind my emotional eating. Being curious with myself, side stepping the mean girl who calls me nasty names. I figure this part of my journey will be a bit higgledy pickledy as I have 50 years of old habits to unravel.

But as for other goals like painting the house, redecorating the lounge, building a new herb garden. I’m your gal, if it’s tangible and gives a visible result, I’m in.

Take the time I painted the roof of our house. At the time I was a shift worker, working twelve hour shifts, two days and two nights with four days off. Excellent opportunity. At the time, it seemed I was always tired and my list was always nagging at me. I’d climb the ladder with paint bucket and brush. I’d begin with great gusto. Each day I’d progress a little further till the heat of the day made me call it quits. I’d squeeze in an hour here and an hour there. My self righteousness was palpable, look at me, see how good I am. I’d climb down the ladder to find family in the cool, chilling out. Wham, judgemental Linda would come in swinging for a show down, I’d stomp around, bang a door, but never say anything, Martyr Linda joined the party, she’s the one that’s been making all the sacrifices, blah, blah, blah. (It didn’t matter that the family had already mown the lawn, weeded the garden, and washed the car.) The only thing with this party was no-one was feeling any joy. I didn’t like who I was, or how I was treating my loved ones.

Something had to change, Someone had to change, and the only person feeling hard done by was me. One thing I have learned is I can’t change anyone else, if I want things to change it has to come from me. The way I was thinking was affecting my behaviour. To change my actions, I had to change my feelings, which required me to change the way I thought about the situation I was in.

Yes, the to do lists got done, there was little joy and peace. The job on the list was the goal, not how well the journey was walked or the status of the relationships with the people around me were lived.

This year I’m on the journey to mend a few of those relationships, and create a life of fun, new adventures, add interest and challenge into my daily life.

In the last year I have been discovering so many new, to me things. One of those things is to choose a word that describes what and who I want to be in the coming year. I asked myself questions like,

What am I tired of putting up with?

What would I change if I could change anything about my life?

What do I want more of in my life?

Who do I want to become? If I could be anyone, what characteristics, would I want to embody?

Sitting still, and answering these questions, seeking guidance from my inner self, my word for 2020 is abundance. I want to experience more abundance in my friendships, more abundance in my marriage, more abundance within myself, more abundance in our finances, more abundance with my children. Now some of you may have the notion that abundance is only about money. Well it is about money, but it’s so much more than that. We live in an abundant world, take a look at nature, plants have more seeds than they’ll ever grow- abundance, We are surrounded by abundance every day, I want to open my eyes to see it, feel it, be a part of the universes abundance every day.

So, my word for this year is Abundance: I will run my decisions through the filter of, How will this make my life more abundant? Will this enhance or detract from my abundant life?

Have you thought about what you want the year 2020 to be like for you? Do you have a word for 2020? Share it with me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com

Until next time: See you my friends.

Stepping Forward

Hello, My friends. It is time to farewell this decade and welcome a new one. For me, It has been a decade filled with new loves a name change, new people to meet, sad goodbyes, and happy hello’s.

The new decade of the twenty’s promises to be the most interesting so far. This is the decade of Linda learning to live with authenticity. I’m sure we’ll have fun growing on this journey.

A little bit about me, I am Linda Codlin, I live in New Zealand, I am married, with four adult children, each following their own path. I grew up in a little town at the base of a dormant volcano. With great dreams and happyish memories, I embarked on my adult adventure. There was so much to discover.

I chose to live my life by the rules of those around me. Like a chameleon changing colours to match it’s environment, I also tried changing to match my environment, trying to be the perfect wife, the perfect mother, and whatever was asked of me, I tried to fulfill it.

After quite a few years of trying to control everyone and everything I was tired and burnt out. I started reading self help books to fix me, maybe they had the answer to my questions of “Who am I?” “Where do I fit in the scheme of things?” “Is this all there is to life?” I devoured the pages, hungry for change, wanting a better me, a me that had peace, confidence and prosperity. These books helped, but I was still unsettled, feeling like I was living my life for everyone else. No inner peace, my confidence shattered, I couldn’t hold any of it together and eventually my life began to unravel….

Which has led me to the woman I am today, I am by no means perfect and sometimes I’m not even put together straight, I’m on my journey of inner discovery, I’m not broken, I never was. The blueprint I was following belonged to someone else and would never fit me. I’m allowing my inner voice to be my guide, she knows me better than anyone else, she wants the best for me, she knows how to motivate me when I’m feeling blah, she celebrates with me when I have a win, no matter how small.

Together, (My Inner lady and me), one thought at a time, one feeling at a time and one action at a time we are creating the life I have always dreamed of living.

If like me, you want more than you’ve got, and are willing to do some things you’ve never done before to get a result you’ve never had.

Join me on this journey, You are not broken and don’t need fixing, together we can create the lives of our wildest dreams. Each week I’ll be sharing topics and stories on how we can live our most authentic lives, designed for a one of a kind woman, to be a one of a kind woman, no clones, authentic living with Linda.

See You next time my friends.