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Question your questions?

Asking the right questions takes as much skill as giving the right answers.

Robert Half

You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.

Naguib Mahfouz

Hello, My friends.

This week has flown by for me. I have begun the tedious process of stripping wallpaper from the office walls. The wallpaper has been painted over, making the job more difficult. I’m finding the best way is to score the paper, then use the steamer to soften the outer layer for removal, and then steaming the underneath paper layer. It’s a process, and with all processes it takes time and focus. The vision I have of the completed room is what keeps me motivated when I’m hot, tired and feeling like quitting.

Questions? I remember when I had preschool children, they were learning about the world around them. They were curious, they questioned everything and everyone. Why? Why is the sky blue? Why do we sleep at night? Why do things fall to the ground when they are dropped, Why does smoke spiral up? How does the vacuum work? Why does it hold the carpet so tight? All good questions for an inquiring mind. What happens to that curiosity as we grow up? Why do we stop asking questions? Do we stop asking questions?

I think we still ask questions, but not out loud, we have turned these questions in on ourselves. For me I quickly discovered as a young girl that asking questions got you frowned on, people got angry with you and you ended up being pushed away. As a recovering people pleaser I can see how this belief has tainted the way I ask questions and interact with people.

If you have read any of my previous blogs you will be aware that I believe that what we think influences how we feel, which is the number one motivator of what we do.

Today I want to ask you a few really important questions.

What are you thinking? Right now, What are you thinking? Capture that illusive thought, pin it down. Look at it. How is it worded? If you’re like most people, capturing your thoughts is like capturing water in a sieve, they flow right past your mind without any interference.

Until you hit a pain point. A pain point is an area in your life where you are unhappy with the result you have. It might be your weight, it might be your health, it might also be in your love relationship or the lack of one. Your pain point might be your children, or your job, or the house you currently live in or any of a hundred other irritations you want to change and improve.

When you come up against your pain point, your mind becomes active looking at where you are. Lets say your pain point is being over weight. You’ve eaten dinner and feel full. Hubby makes a cup of tea and brings out the chocolate bikkies. What does your mind do? “You don’t need that, you’ve just eaten dinner.” Listen to what you say back to yourself. “oh! a couple won’t hurt me.” Then, what does your body do, if you’re like most people you’ll reach for a bikkie or two or three? Now is the time to watch and listen to the questions that cascade through your mind. “Why do I always do that?” “Why don’t I have any self control?” “Why can’t I stop at one bikkie?” “Why does he sabotage me, he knows I shouldn’t be eating those bikkies?” and on it goes. You beat yourself up. That’s not very helpful.

How are you feeling about yourself with these questions flowing through your brain? Your brain is like a super computer. With every question you ask, it goes on the hunt to find an answer, it is looking for evidence to prove what you are saying is true. As an example, lets have a look at the thought, “Why don’t I have any self control?” Your mind is now off whirling a million miles an hour to find the reasons why you don’t have any self control, it reminds you of all the times you have let yourself down, of all the times you have felt unworthy and rejected, of the times when you have felt not good enough. Your brain is looking for the evidence to join the pity party you have created with the feeling in which you asked the question.

What if you challenged these thoughts, and reminded yourself of all the times you did show up for yourself, the times that you did follow the diet, you did the stretches, that you are loved and worthy. The feeling would change and you would feel invigorated, renewed to continue with your healthy eating plan.

Asking questions of yourself about what you are thinking helps to clarify your thoughts. Questions give information about what is going on in your brain. A good quality question is like playing a game of squash, solo. As you ask yourself a question you hit the ball against the wall, as the ball returns to your racket it comes back with a reply, you send out another good question and the ball comes back with another great answer, you continue hitting and receiving the ball until you have exhausted all possible questions or until you have found a solution.

A poorly asked question is like hitting the wall with an uneven ball, the ball will go off on unwanted tangents, or land on the floor in an unhelpful heap. A poor question is a question that doesn’t lead your brain anywhere, it creates a negative and downgrading response. It leaves you feeling belittled and despondent. An example of a poor question is “Why do I always overeat?” Unless it is asked in the safe environment of curiosity, and self love it will come back with negative and harmful responses. Which make you feel bad, and when you feel bad what do you do? You over eat and the cycle repeats itself over and over, and you inadvertently build more evidence to beat yourself up with.

How you think, has a direct impact on how you behave. When you use quality questions to give your brain direction, it will happily go to work to find solutions. Your brain is like a muscle and needs to be exercised to grow strong. Quality questions exercise your brain. A powerful question looks like, How can I lose weight and have fun doing it? What do I want to see happen in my body? Where can I go for help to solve my issue? What can I do to increase my success in losing weight? What can I do today to create the slender body I want? If I could have, be or do anything, what would I want and why?

There are 5 key questions that if you ask them of yourself multiple times a day and write down your responses, your life will improve.

  1. What am I thinking?
  2. Why am I choosing to think this?
  3. How does this thought feel? Where do I feel it in my body?
  4. What am I feeling now? (It will always be a one word emotion) eg glad, sad, mad, happy.
  5. What thought is causing the way I’m feeling now? (Never an external event, always a thought)

If you want more information on how to create the life you’ve always dreamed of by asking powerful questions email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com and we can discuss coaching options.

Question your questions is just the tip of the iceberg, that can change your life for ever.

This week I challenge you to investigate your thoughts, question your thoughts with the 5 key questions. Change is a thought away, your pain point is within healing range.

Until next week, create the life you want to live. Be your authentic self.

Linda Codlin

Certified Life Coach Extraordinaire

“With Age Comes Wisdom” They say.

Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.

David Bowie

Photograph by Vivek Kumar unsplash.com

Hello, My Friends.

This week has flown by. They say with age comes wisdom, I hope so. My number increased by another digit this week, and with it the potential to heal a relationship that has been rocky for way too long.

Forgiveness is the key that has unlocked the bitterness that has lain asleep in my life.

Over the last few weeks I have been doing some serious soul searching. There are areas of life I am not happy with.

I am also not some-one who says one thing with her words and another with her actions.

It is my belief that for me to be authentic there needs to be a truth to my feelings, my actions and my words.

Every day I coach myself with the principles I am writing about each week.

I investigate my thoughts, usually based around an attitude or an action I want to improve or eliminate, I ask myself hard questions and stretch my mind to give me better answers.

I follow through on the ‘random’ thoughts that my inner self gives me, and you know what? Most of the time they are spot on. I grow my confidence, in all the ways I have written about in last months Facebook Month of Confidence. Go and have a read at lindacodlin25 or authenticlivingwithlinda, it is broken down into 28 days of Confidence.

I move out of my comfort zone, and funnily enough my comfort zone eventually moves with me. Then I take the next step.

In the Month of Self Love I talked about the significance of forgiveness. It frees us from the invisible ties that hold us captive to the hurt of our past.

One of my newest rituals is after my morning jog, while I am stretching out my muscles, I mentally go back through the previous day, investigating any residual pent up emotions from yesterdays events, harsh words, miscommunications and hurts. If there are any, (Who am I kidding, IF, it’s more like WHEN.) I then choose to forgive myself and the other person.

My life is too valuable to be dragged down with yesterday’s woes.

I action, The Thoughts Create my Life philosophy, and change my thoughts. I discover the story that holds me captive to someone else’s words or attitude. Then I work at changing it, if I need to increase my safety barrier, then I increase my barrier. If I need to change lanes to stay in my own business, I change lanes, and I choose to forgive them and I choose to forgive me.

We only have one life and we don’t know when our time will be up, it is too short to be held back by the cords of unforgiveness and bitterness.

This week I would encourage you to have a look at my Facebook page, authenticlivingwithlinda or @lindacodlin25 there is a lot of information there, if you are serious about improving your life situation, this information, if used will change your life. It has changed and continues to change mine and the lives of those I coach.

If you want to learn more hands on ways to implement these principles, email me for a consultation and we can run through the steps you need to take to bring about the result you want in your life.

I am so grateful for the freedom these principles have given me, and it is my intention that you find this freedom for yourself as well.

Until Next Time

Have a look at the Month of Self-Love, and the Month of Confidence on Facebook.

This month I will be writing about Communication, and the important role it has in the way we live our every day.

Be true to yourself, with your words, your actions, and your thoughts.

xox Linda Codlin.

If you are wanting to know more on how to free yourself from unforgiveness and bitterness, how to stay in your lane within your business, gaining your power back so you get to live the life you really want.

email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com or reach out to me on Facebook @authenticlivingwithlinda or @lindacodlin25

Connect with me for one on one coaching.

love Linda…

Expectations, Your Secret Identity.

dock under cloudy sky in front of mountain

When you stop expecting people to be perfect,

You can like them for who they are.

Donald Miller

“When you stop expecting yourself to be perfect,

You can like you for who you are. “

Hello, My Friends.

Life has settled into its usual routine, each day following the previous one. The mornings are getting cooler, the early sky is tinged pink under the mist from the river. I put my shoes on, stretched my muscles, then walked to the open the gate. I startled a young deer that was grazing on the grass, he lifted his head, and flipped it, then bounced off down the road and into the bushes behind the houses.

It always makes me excited to see these elegant animals, the way they move so gracefully and agilely as they appear to be startled, I wonder if that is an act they put on to put us off.

This month I have been investigating confidence, what it is and where it comes from. If you want to read more head over to Facebook, look up authenticlivingwithlinda, or lindacodlin25.

What are expectations? Are they the unwritten rules that we expect everyone to know, the hidden rules that we run our lives by.

Do expectations have a lot to do with our confidence levels?

Do you know what your expectations are?

What do you expect your spouse/partner to know about you? Did you ever tell them how you like to be treated? Did you ever explain the important things that really matter to you?

Do you expect your spouse/partner to ‘just’ know these things? They have lived with you long enough that they should know what you like and what you don’t like. Healthy expectations or not so healthy? Is there even such a thing?

What about your children? Did you ever run them through what your expectations are when they are told to ‘go tidy your room, it looks like a pigsty’ ? Or what the standard is in your home about being late for dinner?

Expectations or the lack of them cause a lot of pain in our lives.

The dictionary describes expectation as a strong belief that something will happen or be the case. Anticipating that something will happen. Assuming that something will happen.

When our expectations are not met, those strong beliefs have to go somewhere, the emotion that has built up in anticipation needs releasing. Usually that release comes as a blast of disappointment in the person who didn’t met the anticipated action.

Sometimes we turn that disappointment inwards on ourselves, telling ourselves that we can’t trust others. Or that we just knew it was too to good to be true, or that we never have anything good happen to us, we always miss out. The stories continue. What is your flavour of the disappointment story?

As a girl I learned early, that if you wanted anything done, you had to do it yourself. If you wanted the job done right, you had better do it yourself or stand over the other person doing the job. Let me tell you, neither of these work. It causes resentment, in yourself and in the person you are standing over. Your energy is setting everyone up to fail from the get go.

I learned to be a ‘silent martyr’. This is funny now that I know there is no such thing as a ‘silent martyr.’ Have you ever been in the dining room, listening to someone in the kitchen banging the saucepans and clattering the plates, letting everyone in ear shot know they are NOT happy about doing the dishes. The ‘silent martyr’ is the one who sighs and groans their way through their chores. They don’t actually state what the matter is, instinctively you know to give these people a wide berth or you’ll get snapped at.

The ‘silent martyr’ has taken over some one else’s responsibility and now feels hard done by. They justify their position by stating if I don’t do it, it won’t get done. Actually what has happened is the martyr has trained those around them to wait, they know if they wait long enough the martyr will do the things for them.

Part of my teachings is to train the martyr to put the responsibility back where it belongs, and to voice what the expectation is, and then to state clearly what will happen if the expectation is not carried out.

Teaching us to stay in our own business, enables us to let go of stresses that never were meant for us. And if we happen to be the person avoiding our responsibilities by dodging the expectations of what we know we must do, then learning to be responsible and stepping into the role that is ours, will give us a sense of achievement.

The sad part about people dodging their proper responsibilities, is the illusion it gives them of having an easier life. Which leads them into the victim trap, of not feeling like they have a say in their lives, they give their power away without even realizing they’ve done it.

I have discovered that life isn’t any easier when you give your power away. Your brain and your body know what is expected of you, they know what you should be doing, and they silently or not so silently nag at us.

If I were to listen in on the conversation you hold with yourself, what would I hear? Would I hear a lot of profanity directed at yourself? Would I hear how useless you think you are? How you can NEVER do any thing right. Would I hear a lot of blaming, it’s her fault, if only he’d done … then this wouldn’t have happened? Would I hear faultfinding and nitpicking about other people? Would I hear judgments leveled at others and yourself? This internal nagging has an effect on your health. We can control what we think, but we can’t control how our body interprets those thoughts and sensations.

When you begin to let go of unrealistic expectations and perfectionism, you will begin to see you are a pretty good person. As you fill the void with positive affirmations, you will hear a difference to the way you talk to yourself. Which rubs off onto others.

What if your expectations are too low? Then raise them. The good thing is you get to decide what you want your expectations to be. You get to teach others how to talk to you, how you want to be treated. You get to decide what thoughts enhance your life and what thoughts don’t. You get to decide how you show up for yourself, how you dress, how you speak, how you do anything.

What about at work, maybe you don’t actually know what you are expected to do, where your responsibilities start and end, or what the code of conduct is. Ask, and don’t be intimidated by the blustery responses, you may find out that most of your work colleagues have no idea either. Set your own standard, and keep to it. Set it high enough to challenge you, but not so high that it demotivates you.

With expectations stated, everyone knows what to anticipate, assumptions are diminished and so are disappointments. Accountability and responsibility come into play. (These are topic for another day)

For some people these are very scary words- Accountability and responsibility. When you learn to stay in your business, and encourage others to stay in theirs, these words begin to lose their negative hold on your life, they begin to give you freedom from stress, from picking up everyone else’s unfinished projects.

Remember the three types of business.

God’s business: Everything you have not control over. The weather, politics and sports results.

Their Business: This is everything that involves other people that you have no direct control over. You actions or inactions have no bearing on these lives. Hubby choosing to smoke cigarettes, Sisters boyfriend drama.

Your Business: Every thing you do, think and feel. How you respond to others is your business, how they respond is their business. Your business is everything you have direct control over, your job, your marriage, your home, your car, your thoughts, your emotions, the food you drink, the alcohol you consume, the money you spend and what you spend it on. All your business.

When you live in your business, and put strong positive expectations in place with actions that will occur if your boundaries are breached, you will discover less stress and more freedom. You will regain your power.

Check out your Expectations, What are they? Do they serve you? Are they a secret? Share a few with close friends and family, begin to raise your standards.

Until next time, discover your authentic truth in what you expect and why your expect it.

Linda Codlin.

If you are wanting to know more on how to free yourself from unforgiveness and bitterness, how to stay in your lane within your business, gaining your power back so you get to live the life you really want.

email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com or reach out to me on Facebook @authenticlivingwithlinda or @lindacodlin25

Connect with me for one on one coaching.

love Linda…

‘Hooked By a Feeling”

“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it.”

– Nicholas Sparks

Picture by Jim Strasma from Unsplash

Hello, My Friends

This week has flown by, it seems that seven days a week is not enough to do all the things I want to do.

I’m finding my days skip by so quickly, I get involved with writing and the hours melt away.

For some reason I went looking through last years diary, I was tracking down a certain date, and event.

As I read the words written on the pages I was amazed at how many had come to pass, and how many I had dropped and let stagnate.

Imagine if I had remained diligent in my goal of jogging every day, I would be feeling fitter and possibly be slimmer. This goal is again on my list to do. This time I am more determined to have the satisfaction when February comes around next year, of saying I’m doing that.

This got me thinking about all the important things I want to see happen in my life, and the seemingly insignificant things that derail, sabotage or bury them before they come to fruition.

Life has a way of capturing your attention.

If you are not alert, your minutes will slip away and with them your life.

Do you have a recurring theme, that’s like a pesky fly that doesn’t know when to quit annoying you?

I believe each one of us has certain events that run through our lives like a golden thread.

These golden threads are the values we hold dear, some are for our good and some are for our growth, they are all for our benefit.

As we learn to think on purpose and become mindful of the pesky flies that buzz in the background, not contributing anything positive to our daily living. We become aware of these threads. They can show up as consequences of behaviours that are driving our lives.

The golden threads glisten as the light hits them, revealing the character and fortitude that has been woven into the fabric of who we think we are.

Maybe the golden thread served us a long time ago, and now it is a hindrance tripping us up as we try to walk a new path.

We often need to upgrade our beliefs as we walk through the different stages of life.

Without an upgrade, the golden threads of past thoughts and habits keep us stuck in lives we no longer want for ourselves.

Have you ever wondered why you seem to always have moaning Mertle’s or discouraging Dave’s or judgmental Judy’s in your life?

I am of the opinion that these people are in our lives to teach us something. The longer we take to learn the lesson the longer they stay attached to us.

I have previously talked about triggers, and how they sit like invisible velcro hooks, unseen by the naked eye, attached to our psyche. They sit camouflaged, resting until some unsuspecting person shares their opinion, belief or judgement and accidentally spikes one of the little velcro hooks.

Then the person with the hook, reacts, unaware that they’ve been snagged. They let off a barrage of unpleasantries telling every one watching that some thing is going on.

These triggers are our emotional sensors. They let us know when someone has gotten too close to one of our pet values or beliefs, and alerts us that we need to go into protection mode.

Protection mode looks different for each situation, it may mean we become moody and pouty, or we become defensive or combative. When we are in protection mode nothing is allowed to enter.

We deflect, defer, project or attack, anything other than looking at what is actually causing the trigger.

We blame and accuse, anything to shift the uncomfortable feeling that is surging through our bodies.

The golden thread that runs through our lives is vibrating it tune.

Triggers are actually a great way to discover what emotion is being hidden.

As part of the human experience, we all have feelings. Some are ‘good’ we like these and know what to do with them usually.

Some are unpleasant, which we label as bad, these are the ones we want to avoid. And are the very emotions that have the most to teach us about ourselves.

What if the next time you have a strong reaction to “Judgmental Judy” you took a look to see what her judgement is resting on, You may find that the velcro hook is linked to some-one in your past and how they talked to you. Or to an event that caused you emotional pain and now it is has become a strong link, which may need some working to unravel.

As a life coach this is my specialty, helping people to unravel their emotional responses to triggers that no longer suit them.

Your golden thread is a reminder of where you have been in your life. The hurts that have been healed, the things you have succeeded at, the glimpses of history that rest behind your experiences.

These triggers can be the thin threads that are preventing you from attaining your goal, keeping you stuck one year from the next, in the same holding pattern.

When you heal the hook that the trigger has snagged, you will find that those people and comments no longer irritate, or give you an emotional response.

You may see the trigger for what it is, but there is no hook on you for it to latch onto.

It is my intention for you that you will uncover the main triggers of your life and heal the hook that it is attached to.

Emotional freedom is only a hook or two away.

Until next time,

Look at moaning Mertle, Discouraging Dave and Judgmental Judy with intrigue and work out how their triggers are getting caught on your hooks, so you can unravel the attitude or hurt living in the background.

xox Linda Codlin.

If you are wanting to know more on how to free yourself from unforgiveness and bitterness, how to stay in your lane within your business, gaining your power back so you get to live the life you really want.

email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com or reach out to me on Facebook @authenticlivingwithlinda or @lindacodlin25

Connect with me for one on one coaching.

love Linda…

Become a Hero in History

Do you remember any of these items? Most are lost to archives and museums.

History captured is…

History remembered.

Capture your history before it is gone.

Your story today is the future generation’s history.

Hello, My Friends

This week hubby and I have been working on filling in his family tree.

Back in the day they didn’t take photographs like we do now.

It appears that after 3 or 4 generations records become scarce, and hard to verify.

This got me thinking about what we leave behind, once our time is up.

Great aunts and uncles are remembered only by the living, and when the people of their generation pass on what happens to all those stories.

If they are not recorded somewhere, written down or made note of they are forgotten forever, as if they never happened.

We have many photographs of family portraits, or family outings and no way of identifying who these people are, and what the significance of the event was.

We put so much effort in to living our lives, gaining things and doing stuff, making memories in the hearts of those who share our lives with us.

If we don’t take the time to pass on the stories of our past and our history, no matter how sordid it might have been, in three or four generations we become an unknown picture in an album, collecting dust on a shelf.

What does it take to make a lasting difference for generations to come?

In one hundred years from now, looking back. What are the stories our great grand children will be told about how we lived our lives, the struggles we faced, the things we did for fun?

Will they be told of the hero’s journey we took to change the way we look at ourselves?

Who will define you?

What in history will define you?

How do you want to be remembered?

What if now was the time to begin to write your story?

Write it in the hearts and minds of our next generations, our children and grand children, and great grand children.

What if now was the best time to begin to share your stories with your sons and daughters?

Telling them about the lives of your parents and grand parents.

Tell the story from a heroes point of view.

How they overcame obstacles.

How they conquered things we can’t even comprehend.

The life they lived, reflected the beliefs of the time they lived in, how they worked and loved and lived within the confines of generational belief systems, and how they fought to free themselves of those very confining beliefs.

We have the opportunity today, and every today we live from this day forward to make an impact on our personal beliefs and the beliefs our children and grand children inherit.

We have the privilege of shaping the future for generations to come.

The way we feed our minds good quality thoughts and ideas, or the way we choose to respond and react to the stressors in our lives are the basic building blocks of humanity.

Write your story in the hearts and minds of the next generation.

Write your stories on paper, add names and details to the photographs in your albums.

Build a legacy of remembrances, so when future generations look at the yellowed and stained photographs they know who they are looking at, and the life they lived, so that we could live ours.

When you take photos now on your digital devices, remember to add the back story, tag people and places, make the memory of the event live on in the lives of future people.

Make your life count, you are valuable, your contribution to mankind is important.

You get to decide what it will mean to the future generations. Make it mean the world.

Capture your families history, live your everyday with your future generations in mind, let your actions today speak for years to come.

Until next time,

Write your history and your story from the hero’s point of view.

Linda Codlin

If you are wanting to know more on how to free yourself from unforgiveness and bitterness, how to stay in your lane within your business, gaining your power back so you get to live the life you really want.

email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com or reach out to me on Facebook @authenticlivingwithlinda or @lindacodlin25

Connect with me for one on one coaching.

love Linda…

The Month of Self-Love: -Week Five

Self- Love is the gift that you give to yourself.

Self-love is your energy signature

Self -love is forgiving yourself

Self-love is allowing yourself to enjoy your life

Self-love is Celebrating you

Hello, My Friends,

Goodness, hasn’t this month flown by.

This is the final review for the Month of Self-Love. So many great things to learn and do, showing your brain you love yourself without conditions.

This week has flown by. Hubby and I went out with friends for an evening playing pool. So much fun. Why is it that the danged little white ball loves to skive off into the corner pockets, without warning too. I’m no master at the pool table, but I did enjoy the company and the game.

This week we begin on day 22. If you want to catch up on the previous days of Self-Love head over to Facebook and look for me @lindacodlin25, or @authenticlivingwithlinda and you will be able to scroll through the entire month and glean the pearls that your life needs right now.

Okay so on Day 22 we were talking about energy.

Energy is always in motion, it is never static. This is one reason why change is a constant reality.

In the human body this energy is transmitted by electromagnetic waves that are created by vibrations between an electric field and a magnetic field. Our body produces tiny impulses, that our brain transmits along neurological tracks, it is believed that every cell in our body can communicate with every other cell via these electromagnetic waves.

What great news for restoring health and well being to our bodies.

As we have the ability to influence these vibrational impulses, we have the ability to increase our health.

Our physical body is always communicating with us. Often we are too busy or preoccupied to listen to the signals it is giving.

If we don’t read the signal when they are small, our body will use bigger signals to get our attention.

Headaches, stomach upsets, tight muscles, clenched teeth are all ways our body is trying to tell us some-thing.

All our feelings and emotions begin in the brain as a thought.

We get to control the thoughts that we think, what we don’t get to control is how the body interprets those thoughts and then reacts with our bodies.

Self-Love is the mindful act of becoming aware of what your body is trying to tell you.

Self-love is having the courage to investigate the cause of your bodies dis-stress, to look at what vibration is pulsing through your body.

Do you have blockages that prevent your electromagnetic waves from flowing easily?

These blockages could be the thoughts that are keeping you from getting the results you want in your life.

These electromagnetic waves can be likened to the frequencies of a radio wave. When you tune your radio into a station you are picking up their vibrational frequency. And only while you’re on the same frequency as the radio will you hear the music. Once you move out of range the frequency will be lost.

This is kind of how I imagine the electromagnetic waves work in our bodies. The higher your vibration the easier it is for your life to flow.

When there are no blockages the energy vibrates freely and moves freely.

When we have a ‘negative’ thought, this thought impacts our energy flow.

I believe all our thoughts and feelings are valid and show us some thing we need to know. ‘Negative’ or ‘positive’ are terms we have placed on them depending on the flow of our energy vibration.

If you want your energy to flow freely through your body, life and beyond, then you need to investigate what your body, through feelings and emotions is trying to tell you.

It is through electromagnetic vibration that we read people, we get a sense of who they are and what they are about. This is your ‘gut feeling’ and shouldn’t be ignored.

Your mind deciphers these vibrations and lets you whether you are safe or not. And then your brain send signals to your body to act.

Use your electromagnetic field to improve your life, learn to move up the vibrational frequency range, clear the static, and unhealthy, unhelpful thoughts and actions.

Live your life on purpose.

Think deliberately.

Ask your body what it needs. (Then listen for the answer, and give it what it really needs.)

Day 24 we looked at forgiveness, this is one of the quickest ways I know to change your vibrational frequency. Holding on to unforgiveness is like hanging onto a chain strapped around your leg with the key in the lock.

Forgiveness is some thing we do for ourselves.

It has nothing to do with the event that is causing you pain.

On day 24 I explain how I came to the discovery that forgiveness is all about freedom, freeing me from the invisible cords that held me captive to the people I perceived had hurt me.

I wrote a blog about the process I used called ‘Invisible cords That hold you back’ in Aug 2020 if you want to have a look at it.

I use the four step approach of

1) I’m sorry

2) I forgive you ( Forgive me, for my part)

3) Thank You

4) I Love you

These 4 steps have been so powerful to the freedom I have today.

They have cut the cords and removed the arrows that were causing me so much pain.

Forgiveness of yourself is vital for self-love. How can you love yourself when you constantly nag and beat yourself up for mistakes in your past?

Begin the process of removing the toxic arrows and the invisible cords that hold you bound to the hurts and people from your past. Freedom is waiting for you. Your electromagnetic waves are waiting for you to move into the next vibrational level, and forgiveness is one of the paths to do this.

The fruits of forgiveness are (day 25)

  1. Emotional Freedom- (Which spills over into every realm of your life.)
  2. Resilience- (Freedom from the opinions and agenda of others.)
  3. Love- (Self-Love, You can only love others to the degree that you love yourself.)
  4. Grace- (The space to be human and have human experiences and emotions)

You set the standards of your life, Set your standards high.

Self-love is about standards, what you value, how you want to be treated, how you show up for yourself.

Perfectionism is not self-love, perfectionism keeps you locked up in the tower of appearances.

You have to act or look a certain way to be lovable, acceptable or worthy.

This is untrue, you get to act and look however you want to. My caution with this -look at the results you are getting by choosing to act or look the way you are.

Are you happy with your results?

Do your results satisfy the person you know you really are?

Are you living your life to some-one else’s agenda?

Are you constantly seeking the approval and validation of others?

When we live in perfectionism, we tend to have a lot of negative self chatter, telling us how bad we are, how we’re not as good as other people, living in fear we will be discovered for the fraud we feel we are.

By accepting who you are, what you like and don’t like is the beginning to breaking free from having to be perfect.

You set the standards to your life.

Why set them so high you will never maintain them?

Why set yourself up to fail when you don’t need to?

Be realistic about your strengths and limitations.

Perfection is an illusion, it is unattainable, and unmaintainable.

The cost of perfection is your soul.

Choose freedom for yourself.

Choose self-love by setting manageable standards and letting those in your life know what they are.

Does the very thought of setting standards for yourself grip your heart in fear?

On day 27 we discuss fear as another illusion of modern day life.

Fear is a healthy response to danger.

We have four responses to fear.

1) Fight (Our body gets a surge of adrenalin and we move towards the danger)

2) Flight ( We also have a surge of adrenalin but we run away as far and as fast as we can from the danger)

3) Fright/Freeze (We go into shock and are unable to move. Our body does not respond.)

4) Flow ( To weigh up the situation and decide to go with it, not to resist.)

F= False

E= Emotion

A= Appearing

R= Real

Fear drives us to do so many things that we would not ordinarily do.

We are afraid to feel our emotions, so we eat, we drink, we gamble, we play computer games, we binge on movies.

Fear has us living small and insignificant lives.

Emotional fear is an electromagnetic vibration surging through your body.

Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion that is triggered by the perception of danger real or imagined.

By looking at the triggers of your unpleasant emotions you can move from fear to freedom.

Behind ever trigger is a thought.

Your job is to discover what that thought is. And to create a better more helpful thought.

Remember every-thing is created twice.

Once with your thoughts

Twice with your actions.

You get to decide what you want to think about the fear that has held you captive.

You get to move your thoughts closer to what you want.

On day 28 we look at the thought ladder and who to use it move your thoughts from a place of I can’t to I can.

A thought ladder is basically a ladder of thoughts that your brain can believe as you take action in moving towards your goal.

Without the incremental stages of the ladder your mind argues with your new thought or belief.

To unravel the thought that is holding you captive, you get to look at the fear.

  1. Name the Fear. ‘The fear of rejection’
  2. Investigate where it came from. What was happening at the time? (Speaking in front of the class at school)
  3. Was it a real danger or perceived danger? (Perceived)
  4. Where do you feel this fear in your body? (Throat)
  5. What emotions rise to the surface? (Awareness of being visible)
  6. Give this emotion a one word name. (Embarrassment)
  7. What is the thought behind the emotion? It will be a short sentence. ( I look like a fool.)
  8. What is the opposite thought? (I know what I’m talking about.)

The top of your thought ladder will have ‘I know what I’m talking about and I speak in public to large audiences with confidence.’

The bottom of your ladder would have what your fear is now. ‘I can’t speak in public to save myself.’

The rungs on the ladder will have statements that you can move into believing. Things like ‘I can speak” your brain says yes that’s true.

Next step could be, “I can speak one on one in a group.”

Each step is a little more believable to your brain, and is backed up with action.

As you practice each action and gain more experience and evidence your brain believes what you are telling it and eventually you will be speaking to large audiences in public without fear.

I cover this in more detail on day 28 on my Facebook Page @authenticlivingwithlinda or @lindacodlin25

I am creating a Pleasure portfolio to record and remind me that life is intended to be enjoyed, to have fun and to work out what I actually like to do. It is a bit like the Bucket List, but for enjoyment.

The pleasure portfolio has been instrumental in my trying out new and different meals, activities and variations of things I already know I like. I ask myself questions like.

What is your favourite perfume to wear?

What is your favourite flower and why?

What is your favourite healthy food?

When did you last whistle?

When did you jump for joy last?

Each of these questions leads to an action, which I record in my book and when I do it I tick it off and write how I felt about it.

This has seen me facing a few unfounded fears, and dredging a few real ones that need heading off before they can cause havoc else where in my life.

I would encourage you to make a list of the things you used to like and try them out again to see if they are still something you can do or want to do.

Finally I covered celebrating.

This is something I feel we as the human race do not do enough of.

We don’t give ourselves a pat on the back when we have done some thing well.

We seem to be so focused on the next thing on our list, we forget to look back at what we have done.

To feel the pride of a good job well done.

We don’t celebrate the small and insignificant successes that we achieve everyday.

Celebrate drinking 7 glasses of water.

Celebrate your children coming home from school all excited about their day.

Celebrate the flowers growing in your garden.

Celebrate your friends, your husband/wife, your partner and children.

There are a thousand different ways you can celebrate, all the victories that you have in a day.

Celebrate when you didn’t reach for an extra serving of food.

Celebrate when you know you responded better to your snappy colleague.

Create a little routine for yourself to acknowledge all the things you do well. It might be a small fist pump, or a quick two step, it might be an invisible arm rub. up and down your arm, or a quick hand clasp. Only you (and your brain) know the significance of the action.

Watch as your brain cotton’s on to what you are doing. It will begin to show you more things you do right and that are worth celebrating.

By celebrating you are raising your emotional vibrational frequency which draws more good things to you.

I hope you have gained a few tips and tools that you can use on your journey to more self-love.

Keep an eye out on my Facebook page, I will be adding more tips and tools as the year progresses.

Until next time

Discover you, find out who you are, what your authentic self looks and feels like.

Give yourself the love you deserve.

Bye

Linda Codlin

Help to overcome your fears is an email away.

Email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail

to book your time slot for a coaching session.

To read more about the Month of Self Love visit me

@lindacodlin25 or @authenticlivingwithlinda in Facebook

Watch for the new Facebook: Self-Love group that is being set up.

The Month of Self-Love: Week Four

Hello, My Friends,

This week I stepped out of my comfort zone. I dared to go down the hydro-slide at the local swimming pool with my grandson. Something I have never done before. The orange slide was fun, slipping and skidding along aware of the water and the next twist and turn in the tunnel. However the black tunnel was a completely different kettle of fish, so to speak. It was pitch black, you couldn’t see anything in front of you. The twists and turns happened with you not knowing which way you were going. As an adult with a strong dislike for being in a tube, filled with water, in the pitch black I think I did very well. Grandson loved that I went with him, as my body weight gave him more speed and propelled him around the corners better than on his own.

Every-time I step outside my normal operating parameters, I gain a little more confidence in myself. I feel proud of myself for pushing the envelope. For every fear faced, that is one less fear to hold me back on my journey to authenticity.

At the beginning of January I began to write daily about my journey to self-love and the lessons I have learned. We are into week four. I’m sharing them on Facebook. Look for me @authenticlivingwithlinda or @lindacodlin25.

I ended last week’s, Month of Self-Love by looking at our environment.

Our environment is made up of three categories.

  1. Our body and health
  2. Our living spaces
  3. Our connections with others

I began this week with how self-love is expressed in our living and working spaces.

Our exterior environment reflects our interior self image.

The way we think determines how we feel.

Everything we do, is to gain a certain feeling.

Feelings are the driving force behind all our actions.

An action repeated often enough becomes a habit.

Habits determine how we do, what we do.

It is in your every day activities that your future is decided.

Your home and work space is an indication of whether you are in harmony within yourself. Often the outer environment will tell a story about your emotional position within yourself. Clutter, holding onto things that you don’t like or don’t want because of past memories. Living without order due to being overwhelmed, Chaos without structure. These are internal emotions that are revealed in our external environments.

On Day 16 I talk a little about my journey of creating harmony with my home and work environment and my internal emotional environment.

The third part of our environment is with family, friends, and work colleagues.

This concept was ground breaking, and continues to be one of my greatest challenges.

In Day 17 I discuss the three types of business.

  1. God’s Business: (Universe’s Business) This is the business you have no control over. This involves things like the weather, the global economy, the political arena. Everything that is beyond your immediate control. These are God’s concerns, and because you can’t effect a direct change in the situation they are best left to God or the Universe.
  2. Their Business: (Everyone Else’s Business) This business you also have no control over. You can not make other people live the way you want them to. This is the business that most people like to play in. Telling other people how they should be living their lives.
  3. Your Business: This is the only business you can control. You can control everything that is in your direct control. You get to control your thinking and your actions. You get to decide what you want to do and how you want to do it. This is your play ground.

When we learn to live in our business and leave the other two businesses alone, we get to make the biggest strides in being responsible for ourselves, and our friends and family members get to be responsible for themselves.

The art of loving yourself involves you removing yourself from the chaos and drama of other people’s lives.

It involves you putting safe boundaries around yourself.

Ask yourself regularly. What can I do to change this? If the answer is nothing. Then look at whose business it is. Is it God’s Business? Is it someone else’s Business? or is it Your Business?

If you are always in someone else’s business rescuing them from their drama, they never get the opportunity to handle their own lives and take responsibility for themselves and their actions. You become their scapegoat, they blame you if it turns out badly. Don’t give your power away. Use it to impact your life.

If in doubt always ask yourself, Do I have direct control over this situation? If not stay out of it. Your business is about taking full responsibility for you. (Being response able to yourself.)

I cover this topic in more detail on days 16, 17, and 18 of my Facebook page @authenticlivingwithlinda or @lindacodlin25 be sure to head over and check it out.

From the three Businesses, I moved to triggers.

A trigger is anything that sparks an intense emotional reaction, regardless of your current mood, they can include memories, experiences, and events.

Being triggered, is one way our brain is trying to keep us safe. (This is the brains main job, survival.)

A trigger is generally a reaction to an event that has occurred in your past. It is calling our body to action, to move away from a perceived danger.

Often we don’t realize we are triggered until we look at our response, or some-one else calls us out our behaviour.

Awareness is the beginning of change.

You can’t change what you are not aware of.

On day 19 I cover one strategy on how I work through when I’m being triggered.

Often triggers are caused by being in some-one else’s Business and trying to get them to live to your values and beliefs, which causes conflict.

This conflict can show itself as stress in your life.

On Day 20 and 21, I cover stress and how you can manage it.

Stress is your body’s response to anything that requires action or attention. My favourite definition of a stressful situation is: One in which the demands of the situation threatens to exceed the resources of the individual.

So if we extended our resources and our resourcefulness we could reduce our stress levels.

A lot of stress is caused by being in someone else’s Business as I have mentioned, as you learn to stay within your business, and hand back the responsibility of other people’s business to them, you will find some of your stress leaving you.

Mental resilience is another way to deal with stressful situations.

Everything is created twice, once in your mind, and twice in your reality.

This means you have the ability to change your reality.

Investigate what you are thinking about a situation.

Look at where your stress is coming from. Look for the underlying thought, feeling or emotion.

Disarm these and you will be able to disarm your stress response.

I learned to become more mentally resilient against stress and emotional triggers by putting into practice looking at the facts, (without emotion), asking myself whose business is it? And working out strategies to increase my resources and the boundaries of my own business.

Head over to authenticlivingwithlinda on Facebook or to Lindacodlin25 to read the full episode.

I have listed 8 ways to help you overcome stress on Day 21.

These are

  1. Reduce your feelings of overwhelm.
  2. Be extra kind to yourself.
  3. Share your feelings with a trusted friend, family member or life coach.
  4. Keep a journal.
  5. Eat for nutrition.
  6. Move your body.
  7. Get plenty of sleep.
  8. Practice relaxation methods.

By implementing these into your daily routine you can move into a life with less stress and more ease.

You have a choice.

If you can think a thought about the stressors in your life, you can change that thought and the stress that goes with it.

Self-love is taking the road less travelled.

By implementing some of the tips and strategies I have talked about here and on my Facebook page, your love and respect for yourself will increase.

You will find with consistent action and tweaking of action, that you will rediscover who you really are, and how wonderful you really are.

Once you strip away the veneer of who you think you ‘should’ be and step into who you are and who you want to be, your relationship with yourself becomes authentic. You allow yourself to like what you like without apology.

You move from stressed out to calm and deliberate.

You become some-one who isn’t easily offended or manipulated.

You begin to Love who you really are, where you are right now.

Until next week, when we cover the last week of The Month of Self-Love. Set yourself a goal to figure out what is Your Business, and create a plan on how you can stay in it.

Linda Codlin

Self-Love is within you.

Self-love is managing your stress.

Self-Love is knowing your business and staying in it.

Meet with me everyday for The Month of SELF-LOVE @lindacodlin25 in Facebook.

If you want any help with anything I am covering in this month email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com for a coaching session.

The Month of Self-love. Week Three

Hello, My Friends

Have you ever been talking about something you thought you had mastered, and wham, life rears up and kicks your butt. Just to remind you that it’s not as sorted as you thought it was.

This week has been a week of solidifying and putting into practice the things I believe to be true.

It is when we are under fire and duress that our true beliefs surface.

This is a good thing, you can not heal what you can not feel. “Negative” situations usually have a pearl of wisdom deep on the inside. This week I have been pearl hunting. Looking at my triggers and the underlying beliefs that give them life.

At the beginning of January I began to write daily about my journey to self-love, the lessons I have learned. We are into week three. I’m sharing them on Facebook. Look for me @authenticlivingwithlinda or @lindacodlin25.

I began this week of the month of self-love looking at our gifts and talents. YOU ARE ONE OF A KIND.

There is no-one like you, you are the only one to have experienced your life your way.

You have something unique to share that no-one else can. You are the only one that will touch the lives of certain people, without you and your story, told your way, some will miss out on vital information that only you have.

With the gifts and talents that we have been given, we also have been given the abilities to use these to there greatest advantage.

You can read more on Day 10 of The Month of Self-Love @lindacodlin25.

There is one thing that is deadly to self-love.

It is something each and everyone of us has been a party to until we learn not to be.

This one thing is deadly to implementing our unique gifts and talents.

COMPARISION;

Comparing ourselves to others, comparing our ideas to the ideas of other people.

Comparisons quickly feed into not being good enough, or worthy enough to catch your dreams and put in the action to make them reality.

When we compare ourselves to others we never compare ourselves favourably, we either put others on a pedestal, and think they are better than us. Or we put ourselves on a pedestal and think we are better than others.

The truth is we are all humans, on a very human journey. We are all the same, we all have fears, we all have insecurities, we all have doubts.

The only comparisons we should ever make is with ourselves by asking, “Am I better today than I was yesterday?” and your answer will determine what your next move will be.

If you are going to strive, strive to be the best that you can, at being yourself.

Self-love is all about discovering the real you, the one you keep hidden for fear of being judged, for fear of being compared and coming up short.

Have the courage to look at what you love, and add that to your daily life.

Have the courage to accept you, all the human aspects of your life. You have strengths and weaknesses like every other human who walks this earth.

The freedom to be yourself comes when you learn to accept who you are right now.

The art of accepting yourself as you are, creates a space in your heart to allow you to be safe and look at what is really driving you to do what you do.

Self-love is built on the ability to accept you, read more on Day 12 of The Month of Self-Love: Facebook page ‘authenticlivingwithlinda’ or look up ‘lindacodlin25.’

Part of loving ourselves is loving our environments. The art of being at home. There are three aspects I cover.

  1. Our body and health
  2. Our living spaces
  3. Our connections with others

On days 12, 13 and 14, I talk about style and how our style says so much about us, without us having to say a word.

Style includes the way we treat our bodies, and how healthy we are, Style also involves the clothes we wear and the way we wear them. Style is about the way we carry ourselves and care for ourselves. It’s about knowing who you are and owning yourself.

Self-love is all about giving yourself the best. Give yourself the best posture, walk tall, stand straight, sit elegantly, with poise.

Own your own space, make it yours. Command yourself with confidence, let others know you are there by the way you move and own yourself. When you walk into a room be assured you are worthy, you have what it takes. Style is about your attitude, let yours be positive and confident.

Work with your body, and your body will work with you.

Body and health within the topic of self-love can become the sole focus, for change.

Remember if we are going to create permanent change we start with our thoughts, our thoughts dictate our feelings which dictate our actions.

Also our actions can change the way we feel, and think.

It is a self perpetuating cycle, one reinforces the other.

We need both aspects to create permanent change. Without action you are sitting in the same space you were before. Without changing your thoughts you will continue to do the same actions you were doing and so get the same results you have always got.

This week read the daily entries, do the challenges and give yourself the gift of love and life improvement.

Discover who you really are, let your authentic self out of the box you’ve been hiding in and continue on your journey of SELF-LOVE.

Until next week my friends, I hope to see you everyday this month, be true to yourself.

Linda Codlin.

Self-Love is within you.

Self-love is accepting your unique gifts and talents

Self-Love is knowing you are enough.

Meet with me everyday for The Month of SELF-LOVE @lindacodlin25 in Facebook.

If you want any help with anything I am covering in this month email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com for a coaching session.

The Month of Self-Love Week Two

Hello, My Friends

This week has seen me tenting in the Ruahine Ranges, with my daughter and grand children. I pitched my tent under the Kereru (NZ Wood Pigeon) super highway, all we watched the graceful flight of these heavy birds with their wings displacing the air giving the whoosh sound that lets you know they are there. We listened to the Morepork echoing their distinctive call through the valley, My grand daughter announced the next morning, ‘”I didn’t get any sleep last night because the morepork’s were moreporking all night”

For the month of January I began to write daily about my journey to self-love, the lessons I have learned. We are into week two. I’m sharing them on Facebook. Look for me @authenticlivingwithlinda or @lindacodlin25.

SELF-LOVE

The power of “AND”

On the road from I can’t to I can is the little word “AND”.

I learned to use the word ‘AND’ after a negative I can’t statement to give my brain the opportunity to change the thought into something slightly better and believable.

“I can’t write a blog post”, became…

“I can’t write a blog post AND I’m going to write one paragraph on one subject I know and love.”

The I can’t became an action I could take.

Then I added a second ‘AND’ to the “I can’t publish it because it’s not good enough.” to make it AND “I’ll check for basic spelling and punctuation errors then I’ll publish it” “Near enough is good enough, and imperfect action is better than no action.”

Then I faced my fear and sent it off.

The miracle of a little “AND” that gave me space to move from a negative self defeating statement to a more helpful statement that allowed me to take imperfect action.

The lesson in this is to accept your I can’t and move it into the land of I can by adding “AND” to it with an action that you can complete, even if the action is done poorly in your opinion, you have moved from I can’t to I can.

“AND” gives your brain something to focus on, it goes to work to find an action to add to your and, creating forward motion. To read more head over to Jan 5th @lindacodlin25 on Facebook.

Creating a new way of thinking and believing can be done with repetition.

I have found that AFFIRMATIONS are the quickest way to reprogramme my brain to allow me to move forward into the beliefs I want to hold about myself.

Briefly, an affirmation is a statement you make when you agree with something. The Affirmations you want to use are spoken as a positive fact. To be effective it needs to be written in and stated in the positive present tense.

The two most important words the human brain understands is “I AM”

I AM tells your brain exactly who you are and what you want to do, have and be.

When-ever you use the words I Am or I’m… The brain says, “Oh! I understand you want me to find ….. ,” and it begins to search for evidence and scenarios that back up your I am statement.

Always give your brain positive, and forward looking things to focus on. Your brain needs specific direction, give it specific direction with your I am statements, and AFFIRMATIONS.

The way you see yourself has a direct impact on how you are able to love yourself. By adding one I am statement into your day, you can move toward loving and accepting yourself more.

Write ‘I AM ENOUGH.” on your mirror and read it at least five times a day for thirty days, let the words permeate into your mind and soul.

Choose an area of your life to want to improve, write one or two affirmations in the positive present tense onto a small wallet sized card and carry them with you. Read them every time you think negatively about yourself, feel the energy you want to create as you read your statement of what it is you want to have, be and do.

I cover affirmations on Days 6 & 7 on my Facebook Page, @authenticlivingwithlinda @lindacodlin25.

As human’s we will have negative emotions, our brains are wired to look out for danger, to protect us. Our brain is constantly scanning for things it perceives will harm us. As we have grown up we have been feeding our brain with information of what to look out for.

Our negative thoughts are our friends, they are here to keep us safe. When we ask them what it is they are trying to keep us safe from we get to uncover some of our hidden fears and road blocks that need to be eliminated to create the freedom we want to experience.

For you to enjoy the joys of life, you also need to experience the sadder side of life. To constantly experience one side of life without having the contrast of the other side is to diminish the ability to be human.

All human emotion is valid, it is what we choose to do with those emotions that makes the difference to how we live our lives.

On day 8 I cover “The Pollyanna Syndrome” @lindacodlin25 on Facebook.

For you to love yourself completely you will at some point need to acknowledge all your emotions, and investigate what they are in your life for. All emotion, ‘negative’ and ‘positive’ have a reason for being in your life, your job is to work out what it’s there for and whether it is still working for you or not.

This leads into day 9. Learning to retell your story to create acceptance and love for yourself.

The more resist our thoughts and feelings, the more they will pop up somewhere else in our lives to cause havoc. Resisting our feelings takes a lot of energy, trying to live up to other people’s expectations is hard work. Denying the effect situations had on our emotions causes our bodies stress.

We have a choice in how we respond to the past events of our lives. We get to choose to tell a better story. We are not our past! Our past is only in our memory, It is a story we tell ourselves about what happened, and usually when we struggle to love ourselves this story doesn’t help us to move forward into the future easily.

We get to decide what we want our past to mean, what story we are telling ourselves about the event.

If you can think a thought, you can change a thought. All thoughts are optional.

When we learn to separate the fact of an event from the emotion of that event, we create space to see the event without the emotions that cloud the facts. Which gives us space to be able to retell the story in a way that helps us to let go of the hurt, guilt and shame that holds us in bondage.

When we learn to let go of the hurt, guilt and shame we open up room in our hearts and souls for forgiveness and love of ourselves.

As the Month of January continues I will continue to write of my experience in learning to love and accept myself.

Head over to Facebook and look me up @lindacodlin25 and I’ll walk you through what I did to find my true self.

Until next week my friends, I hope to see you everyday this month.

Linda Codlin.

Self-Love is within you.

Self-love is accepting all of you- even the not so nice attributes.

Self-Love is knowing you are enough.

Meet with me everyday for The Month of SELF-LOVE @lindacodlin25 in Facebook.

If you want any help with anything I am covering in this month email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com for a coaching session.

The Month of Self-Love Week One

Self-Love is owning our story ,

loving ourselves through the process,

and is the bravest thing

that we’ll ever do for ourselves.

Hello, My friends

This week has flown by with bicycle rides, and sitting in the shade of the trees on the river bank watching the speed boats race, smelling the fuel and having our ears blasted by the super noise. Another enjoyment to add to my Pleasure Portfolio.

For the month of January I began to write daily about my journey to self-love, the lessons I have learned. I’m sharing them on Facebook. Look for me @authenticlivingwithlinda or @lindacodlin25.

SELF-LOVE

My definition of SELF-LOVE is knowing who you are, being at peace with your past, and trusting yourself to live into the future with the attitude of “Whoopie, Lets see how far this thing goes.”

SELF-LOVE is about being true to your inner self, it is about making the best decision for you, based on the information you have and where you see yourself in the future.

True SELF-LOVE is not about anyone else, even though you can take others into consideration with your decisions. Self-love is doing what you know to be best for you.

True SELF-LOVE often involves sacrifice, you sacrifice the immediate pleasure for the long term gain. And sometimes it’s the other way around, you participate in the pleasure of the now.

True SELF-LOVE is following the inner beacon that each of us have in us. It is doing the hard things, the unpleasant, and the uncomfortable things. It is also laughing and having fun, living without care, or the heaviness of responsibilities that can weigh us down.

True SELF-LOVE is about being truthful, with the core of who we are, it’s being the detective who investigates why we drink more than we know we should, and lifts the lid on why we continue to eat foods that we know are not healthful for our body’s.

It’s about looking under the surface and discovering what is really going on.

It’s about having fun, and enjoying the life you have now, pleasure and peace.

True SELF-LOVE is about letting yourself feel and be. Feeling the hurts of the past, gently so they don’t overwhelm you, sorting through the stories that are behind those hurts, and discovering the truth.

True SELF-LOVE is not for the faint hearted, it takes courage, guts, and grace.

It takes respect for yourself, to see your past and how it has shaped you to be the person you are today, reading this.

The good news is that as you take the steps to get to know who you really are, you will find treasures, love, acceptance, peace and strengths you have forgotten even existed.

I would even dare to say you will find or rediscover your ‘purpose’ and ‘passion’ that have become buried under the adult responsibilities, or the past hurts of childhood.

THOUGHTS BECOME THINGS

“IF YOU CAN THINK A THOUGHT

YOU CAN CHANGE A THOUGHT”

All thoughts are OPTIONAL.

This one little phrase is what set me on the road to reunite myself with me.

You see, if I can think a thought, I can also change that thought to think something better, a thought that enables me to be free from my past and the hang ups that followed me from childhood.

My intention for you is that this one phrase will sink deep into your soul to give you your power back as it did for me.

When you head over to Facebook to read my daily posts, you will find more tips on how I began to unravel the layers of hurt, guilt and shame.

Remember this is an ongoing process.

Everyday I find more areas that need setting free, so I can love myself unconditionally, I use these tools and tips almost everyday.

YOU ARE NOT BROKEN: YOU NEVER HAVE BEEN.

YOU MAY BE BRUISED AND HURT AND IN NEED OF HEALING.

YOU MAY HAVE HIDDEN YOUR EMOTIONS FROM YOURSELF TO SURVIVE.

YOU ARE NOT BROKEN

Self-love is your right and it’s within your grasp.

Head over to Facebook and look me up @lindacodlin25 and I’ll walk you through what I did to find my true self.

Until next week my friends, I hope to see you everyday this month.

Linda Codlin.

SELF-LOVE is your right,

SELF-LOVE is within your grasp.

Connect with me for The Month of Self-Love

Facebook @lindacodlin25

@authentic living with linda

15 Steps to SELF-LOVE

Hello, My Friends,

As the New Year steams into view, I thought I’d have a look at something I’ve been working on in my life. It is an area that I has made such a difference to the way I view everything. It is my hope that this topic will also help you to have the most fulfilling year in 2021.

SELF-LOVE

My goal for the year 2020 was to love and respect myself first.

You see, I had a tendency to put the needs and requirements of everyone else ahead of my own, and then I’d feel hard done by, or used, or I’d pull out the martyr card. I’d get angry because what I needed wasn’t being fulfilled, but I didn’t really know what I needed to feel fulfilled.

This year I decided to love and respect me. The problem was I had no idea what that looked like.

I couldn’t imagine or even know what loving myself meant.

As we go through January’s month of SELF-LOVE I will be sharing some of the things I used to uncover what self-love looked like for me.

It is my hope that some of these tools will enable you to begin to bring some love for yourself into your life.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this self-love road is a long one, it is a journey of discovery that I am still on. I still have many areas where, self-doubt, fear, scarcity, unforgiveness, guilt and shame live.

It is my intention to continue this journey using the tools I have found, and which I will share with you.

15 ways I started to build SELF-LOVE

  1. Becoming MINDFUL of the self chatter in my head.
  2. Self-talk, creating space between the negative to insert the positive.
  3. Affirmations- Giving my brain something positive to focus on. “I AM” statements
  4. Retelling the stories of my past in a better light.
  5. Realizing I am a “ONE OF A KIND’ and comparisons never help.
  6. Seeking out my inner GENIUS (We all have one)
  7. Getting real with my environment-
    1. My personal health (Weight, Body Functions, Fitness, Food)
    2. My living and working spaces (Clutter, My Stuff, Wardrobe)
    3. The people I hang out with (Work colleagues, Friends, Family)
  8. Learning to handle STRESS (We all have it and need it)
  9. That my ENERGY matters (How we do any-thing is how we do every-thing)
  10. Forgiveness- Setting myself free
  11. Releasing Perfectionism (Fear)
  12. Letting go of the CONTROLS (What we can control and what we can’t)
  13. Discovering my PLEASURE PORTFOLIO (What lights me up, enjoyment, fun, happiness)
  14. CELEBRATING, learning to notice and enjoy the wins in every day.
  15. Living AUTHENTICALLY WITH LINDA (Being true to me)

Over the coming weeks I will go into more detail on how I used each of these 15 ‘steps’ to improve the love I have for myself and how these ‘steps’ have changed my life.

This week I want to challenge you to think about what ‘SELF-LOVE’ means to you.

Do you instantly recoil from the term, self love?

What does it bring up for you? Whose voice do you hear in your mind, and what are they saying?

These are important questions to answer, they give the clues of why loving and respecting yourself has been difficult in the past.

Maybe you have self respect and love in one or two areas of your life, and struggle to see that work out into all areas.

It is my intention that over the next month I will give you some of the tools that I used to move me forward into a healthy relationship with myself.

Starting January 1st watch my Facebook page (@lindacodlin25) where I will be posting tips and tools on creating SELF-LOVE for 2021, Then weekly in this post I will review the main points.

Until then, love yourself with kindness and respect. Be your most authentic self.

Linda Codlin

See you on January 1st over at @lindacodlin25

authenticlivingwithlinda Facebook page.