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Question your questions?

Asking the right questions takes as much skill as giving the right answers.

Robert Half

You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.

Naguib Mahfouz

Hello, My friends.

This week has flown by for me. I have begun the tedious process of stripping wallpaper from the office walls. The wallpaper has been painted over, making the job more difficult. I’m finding the best way is to score the paper, then use the steamer to soften the outer layer for removal, and then steaming the underneath paper layer. It’s a process, and with all processes it takes time and focus. The vision I have of the completed room is what keeps me motivated when I’m hot, tired and feeling like quitting.

Questions? I remember when I had preschool children, they were learning about the world around them. They were curious, they questioned everything and everyone. Why? Why is the sky blue? Why do we sleep at night? Why do things fall to the ground when they are dropped, Why does smoke spiral up? How does the vacuum work? Why does it hold the carpet so tight? All good questions for an inquiring mind. What happens to that curiosity as we grow up? Why do we stop asking questions? Do we stop asking questions?

I think we still ask questions, but not out loud, we have turned these questions in on ourselves. For me I quickly discovered as a young girl that asking questions got you frowned on, people got angry with you and you ended up being pushed away. As a recovering people pleaser I can see how this belief has tainted the way I ask questions and interact with people.

If you have read any of my previous blogs you will be aware that I believe that what we think influences how we feel, which is the number one motivator of what we do.

Today I want to ask you a few really important questions.

What are you thinking? Right now, What are you thinking? Capture that illusive thought, pin it down. Look at it. How is it worded? If you’re like most people, capturing your thoughts is like capturing water in a sieve, they flow right past your mind without any interference.

Until you hit a pain point. A pain point is an area in your life where you are unhappy with the result you have. It might be your weight, it might be your health, it might also be in your love relationship or the lack of one. Your pain point might be your children, or your job, or the house you currently live in or any of a hundred other irritations you want to change and improve.

When you come up against your pain point, your mind becomes active looking at where you are. Lets say your pain point is being over weight. You’ve eaten dinner and feel full. Hubby makes a cup of tea and brings out the chocolate bikkies. What does your mind do? “You don’t need that, you’ve just eaten dinner.” Listen to what you say back to yourself. “oh! a couple won’t hurt me.” Then, what does your body do, if you’re like most people you’ll reach for a bikkie or two or three? Now is the time to watch and listen to the questions that cascade through your mind. “Why do I always do that?” “Why don’t I have any self control?” “Why can’t I stop at one bikkie?” “Why does he sabotage me, he knows I shouldn’t be eating those bikkies?” and on it goes. You beat yourself up. That’s not very helpful.

How are you feeling about yourself with these questions flowing through your brain? Your brain is like a super computer. With every question you ask, it goes on the hunt to find an answer, it is looking for evidence to prove what you are saying is true. As an example, lets have a look at the thought, “Why don’t I have any self control?” Your mind is now off whirling a million miles an hour to find the reasons why you don’t have any self control, it reminds you of all the times you have let yourself down, of all the times you have felt unworthy and rejected, of the times when you have felt not good enough. Your brain is looking for the evidence to join the pity party you have created with the feeling in which you asked the question.

What if you challenged these thoughts, and reminded yourself of all the times you did show up for yourself, the times that you did follow the diet, you did the stretches, that you are loved and worthy. The feeling would change and you would feel invigorated, renewed to continue with your healthy eating plan.

Asking questions of yourself about what you are thinking helps to clarify your thoughts. Questions give information about what is going on in your brain. A good quality question is like playing a game of squash, solo. As you ask yourself a question you hit the ball against the wall, as the ball returns to your racket it comes back with a reply, you send out another good question and the ball comes back with another great answer, you continue hitting and receiving the ball until you have exhausted all possible questions or until you have found a solution.

A poorly asked question is like hitting the wall with an uneven ball, the ball will go off on unwanted tangents, or land on the floor in an unhelpful heap. A poor question is a question that doesn’t lead your brain anywhere, it creates a negative and downgrading response. It leaves you feeling belittled and despondent. An example of a poor question is “Why do I always overeat?” Unless it is asked in the safe environment of curiosity, and self love it will come back with negative and harmful responses. Which make you feel bad, and when you feel bad what do you do? You over eat and the cycle repeats itself over and over, and you inadvertently build more evidence to beat yourself up with.

How you think, has a direct impact on how you behave. When you use quality questions to give your brain direction, it will happily go to work to find solutions. Your brain is like a muscle and needs to be exercised to grow strong. Quality questions exercise your brain. A powerful question looks like, How can I lose weight and have fun doing it? What do I want to see happen in my body? Where can I go for help to solve my issue? What can I do to increase my success in losing weight? What can I do today to create the slender body I want? If I could have, be or do anything, what would I want and why?

There are 5 key questions that if you ask them of yourself multiple times a day and write down your responses, your life will improve.

  1. What am I thinking?
  2. Why am I choosing to think this?
  3. How does this thought feel? Where do I feel it in my body?
  4. What am I feeling now? (It will always be a one word emotion) eg glad, sad, mad, happy.
  5. What thought is causing the way I’m feeling now? (Never an external event, always a thought)

If you want more information on how to create the life you’ve always dreamed of by asking powerful questions email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com and we can discuss coaching options.

Question your questions is just the tip of the iceberg, that can change your life for ever.

This week I challenge you to investigate your thoughts, question your thoughts with the 5 key questions. Change is a thought away, your pain point is within healing range.

Until next week, create the life you want to live. Be your authentic self.

Linda Codlin

Certified Life Coach Extraordinaire

The Month of Self-love. Week Three

Hello, My Friends

Have you ever been talking about something you thought you had mastered, and wham, life rears up and kicks your butt. Just to remind you that it’s not as sorted as you thought it was.

This week has been a week of solidifying and putting into practice the things I believe to be true.

It is when we are under fire and duress that our true beliefs surface.

This is a good thing, you can not heal what you can not feel. “Negative” situations usually have a pearl of wisdom deep on the inside. This week I have been pearl hunting. Looking at my triggers and the underlying beliefs that give them life.

At the beginning of January I began to write daily about my journey to self-love, the lessons I have learned. We are into week three. I’m sharing them on Facebook. Look for me @authenticlivingwithlinda or @lindacodlin25.

I began this week of the month of self-love looking at our gifts and talents. YOU ARE ONE OF A KIND.

There is no-one like you, you are the only one to have experienced your life your way.

You have something unique to share that no-one else can. You are the only one that will touch the lives of certain people, without you and your story, told your way, some will miss out on vital information that only you have.

With the gifts and talents that we have been given, we also have been given the abilities to use these to there greatest advantage.

You can read more on Day 10 of The Month of Self-Love @lindacodlin25.

There is one thing that is deadly to self-love.

It is something each and everyone of us has been a party to until we learn not to be.

This one thing is deadly to implementing our unique gifts and talents.

COMPARISION;

Comparing ourselves to others, comparing our ideas to the ideas of other people.

Comparisons quickly feed into not being good enough, or worthy enough to catch your dreams and put in the action to make them reality.

When we compare ourselves to others we never compare ourselves favourably, we either put others on a pedestal, and think they are better than us. Or we put ourselves on a pedestal and think we are better than others.

The truth is we are all humans, on a very human journey. We are all the same, we all have fears, we all have insecurities, we all have doubts.

The only comparisons we should ever make is with ourselves by asking, “Am I better today than I was yesterday?” and your answer will determine what your next move will be.

If you are going to strive, strive to be the best that you can, at being yourself.

Self-love is all about discovering the real you, the one you keep hidden for fear of being judged, for fear of being compared and coming up short.

Have the courage to look at what you love, and add that to your daily life.

Have the courage to accept you, all the human aspects of your life. You have strengths and weaknesses like every other human who walks this earth.

The freedom to be yourself comes when you learn to accept who you are right now.

The art of accepting yourself as you are, creates a space in your heart to allow you to be safe and look at what is really driving you to do what you do.

Self-love is built on the ability to accept you, read more on Day 12 of The Month of Self-Love: Facebook page ‘authenticlivingwithlinda’ or look up ‘lindacodlin25.’

Part of loving ourselves is loving our environments. The art of being at home. There are three aspects I cover.

  1. Our body and health
  2. Our living spaces
  3. Our connections with others

On days 12, 13 and 14, I talk about style and how our style says so much about us, without us having to say a word.

Style includes the way we treat our bodies, and how healthy we are, Style also involves the clothes we wear and the way we wear them. Style is about the way we carry ourselves and care for ourselves. It’s about knowing who you are and owning yourself.

Self-love is all about giving yourself the best. Give yourself the best posture, walk tall, stand straight, sit elegantly, with poise.

Own your own space, make it yours. Command yourself with confidence, let others know you are there by the way you move and own yourself. When you walk into a room be assured you are worthy, you have what it takes. Style is about your attitude, let yours be positive and confident.

Work with your body, and your body will work with you.

Body and health within the topic of self-love can become the sole focus, for change.

Remember if we are going to create permanent change we start with our thoughts, our thoughts dictate our feelings which dictate our actions.

Also our actions can change the way we feel, and think.

It is a self perpetuating cycle, one reinforces the other.

We need both aspects to create permanent change. Without action you are sitting in the same space you were before. Without changing your thoughts you will continue to do the same actions you were doing and so get the same results you have always got.

This week read the daily entries, do the challenges and give yourself the gift of love and life improvement.

Discover who you really are, let your authentic self out of the box you’ve been hiding in and continue on your journey of SELF-LOVE.

Until next week my friends, I hope to see you everyday this month, be true to yourself.

Linda Codlin.

Self-Love is within you.

Self-love is accepting your unique gifts and talents

Self-Love is knowing you are enough.

Meet with me everyday for The Month of SELF-LOVE @lindacodlin25 in Facebook.

If you want any help with anything I am covering in this month email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com for a coaching session.

The Month of Self-Love Week Two

Hello, My Friends

This week has seen me tenting in the Ruahine Ranges, with my daughter and grand children. I pitched my tent under the Kereru (NZ Wood Pigeon) super highway, all we watched the graceful flight of these heavy birds with their wings displacing the air giving the whoosh sound that lets you know they are there. We listened to the Morepork echoing their distinctive call through the valley, My grand daughter announced the next morning, ‘”I didn’t get any sleep last night because the morepork’s were moreporking all night”

For the month of January I began to write daily about my journey to self-love, the lessons I have learned. We are into week two. I’m sharing them on Facebook. Look for me @authenticlivingwithlinda or @lindacodlin25.

SELF-LOVE

The power of “AND”

On the road from I can’t to I can is the little word “AND”.

I learned to use the word ‘AND’ after a negative I can’t statement to give my brain the opportunity to change the thought into something slightly better and believable.

“I can’t write a blog post”, became…

“I can’t write a blog post AND I’m going to write one paragraph on one subject I know and love.”

The I can’t became an action I could take.

Then I added a second ‘AND’ to the “I can’t publish it because it’s not good enough.” to make it AND “I’ll check for basic spelling and punctuation errors then I’ll publish it” “Near enough is good enough, and imperfect action is better than no action.”

Then I faced my fear and sent it off.

The miracle of a little “AND” that gave me space to move from a negative self defeating statement to a more helpful statement that allowed me to take imperfect action.

The lesson in this is to accept your I can’t and move it into the land of I can by adding “AND” to it with an action that you can complete, even if the action is done poorly in your opinion, you have moved from I can’t to I can.

“AND” gives your brain something to focus on, it goes to work to find an action to add to your and, creating forward motion. To read more head over to Jan 5th @lindacodlin25 on Facebook.

Creating a new way of thinking and believing can be done with repetition.

I have found that AFFIRMATIONS are the quickest way to reprogramme my brain to allow me to move forward into the beliefs I want to hold about myself.

Briefly, an affirmation is a statement you make when you agree with something. The Affirmations you want to use are spoken as a positive fact. To be effective it needs to be written in and stated in the positive present tense.

The two most important words the human brain understands is “I AM”

I AM tells your brain exactly who you are and what you want to do, have and be.

When-ever you use the words I Am or I’m… The brain says, “Oh! I understand you want me to find ….. ,” and it begins to search for evidence and scenarios that back up your I am statement.

Always give your brain positive, and forward looking things to focus on. Your brain needs specific direction, give it specific direction with your I am statements, and AFFIRMATIONS.

The way you see yourself has a direct impact on how you are able to love yourself. By adding one I am statement into your day, you can move toward loving and accepting yourself more.

Write ‘I AM ENOUGH.” on your mirror and read it at least five times a day for thirty days, let the words permeate into your mind and soul.

Choose an area of your life to want to improve, write one or two affirmations in the positive present tense onto a small wallet sized card and carry them with you. Read them every time you think negatively about yourself, feel the energy you want to create as you read your statement of what it is you want to have, be and do.

I cover affirmations on Days 6 & 7 on my Facebook Page, @authenticlivingwithlinda @lindacodlin25.

As human’s we will have negative emotions, our brains are wired to look out for danger, to protect us. Our brain is constantly scanning for things it perceives will harm us. As we have grown up we have been feeding our brain with information of what to look out for.

Our negative thoughts are our friends, they are here to keep us safe. When we ask them what it is they are trying to keep us safe from we get to uncover some of our hidden fears and road blocks that need to be eliminated to create the freedom we want to experience.

For you to enjoy the joys of life, you also need to experience the sadder side of life. To constantly experience one side of life without having the contrast of the other side is to diminish the ability to be human.

All human emotion is valid, it is what we choose to do with those emotions that makes the difference to how we live our lives.

On day 8 I cover “The Pollyanna Syndrome” @lindacodlin25 on Facebook.

For you to love yourself completely you will at some point need to acknowledge all your emotions, and investigate what they are in your life for. All emotion, ‘negative’ and ‘positive’ have a reason for being in your life, your job is to work out what it’s there for and whether it is still working for you or not.

This leads into day 9. Learning to retell your story to create acceptance and love for yourself.

The more resist our thoughts and feelings, the more they will pop up somewhere else in our lives to cause havoc. Resisting our feelings takes a lot of energy, trying to live up to other people’s expectations is hard work. Denying the effect situations had on our emotions causes our bodies stress.

We have a choice in how we respond to the past events of our lives. We get to choose to tell a better story. We are not our past! Our past is only in our memory, It is a story we tell ourselves about what happened, and usually when we struggle to love ourselves this story doesn’t help us to move forward into the future easily.

We get to decide what we want our past to mean, what story we are telling ourselves about the event.

If you can think a thought, you can change a thought. All thoughts are optional.

When we learn to separate the fact of an event from the emotion of that event, we create space to see the event without the emotions that cloud the facts. Which gives us space to be able to retell the story in a way that helps us to let go of the hurt, guilt and shame that holds us in bondage.

When we learn to let go of the hurt, guilt and shame we open up room in our hearts and souls for forgiveness and love of ourselves.

As the Month of January continues I will continue to write of my experience in learning to love and accept myself.

Head over to Facebook and look me up @lindacodlin25 and I’ll walk you through what I did to find my true self.

Until next week my friends, I hope to see you everyday this month.

Linda Codlin.

Self-Love is within you.

Self-love is accepting all of you- even the not so nice attributes.

Self-Love is knowing you are enough.

Meet with me everyday for The Month of SELF-LOVE @lindacodlin25 in Facebook.

If you want any help with anything I am covering in this month email me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com for a coaching session.

The Month of Self-Love Week One

Self-Love is owning our story ,

loving ourselves through the process,

and is the bravest thing

that we’ll ever do for ourselves.

Hello, My friends

This week has flown by with bicycle rides, and sitting in the shade of the trees on the river bank watching the speed boats race, smelling the fuel and having our ears blasted by the super noise. Another enjoyment to add to my Pleasure Portfolio.

For the month of January I began to write daily about my journey to self-love, the lessons I have learned. I’m sharing them on Facebook. Look for me @authenticlivingwithlinda or @lindacodlin25.

SELF-LOVE

My definition of SELF-LOVE is knowing who you are, being at peace with your past, and trusting yourself to live into the future with the attitude of “Whoopie, Lets see how far this thing goes.”

SELF-LOVE is about being true to your inner self, it is about making the best decision for you, based on the information you have and where you see yourself in the future.

True SELF-LOVE is not about anyone else, even though you can take others into consideration with your decisions. Self-love is doing what you know to be best for you.

True SELF-LOVE often involves sacrifice, you sacrifice the immediate pleasure for the long term gain. And sometimes it’s the other way around, you participate in the pleasure of the now.

True SELF-LOVE is following the inner beacon that each of us have in us. It is doing the hard things, the unpleasant, and the uncomfortable things. It is also laughing and having fun, living without care, or the heaviness of responsibilities that can weigh us down.

True SELF-LOVE is about being truthful, with the core of who we are, it’s being the detective who investigates why we drink more than we know we should, and lifts the lid on why we continue to eat foods that we know are not healthful for our body’s.

It’s about looking under the surface and discovering what is really going on.

It’s about having fun, and enjoying the life you have now, pleasure and peace.

True SELF-LOVE is about letting yourself feel and be. Feeling the hurts of the past, gently so they don’t overwhelm you, sorting through the stories that are behind those hurts, and discovering the truth.

True SELF-LOVE is not for the faint hearted, it takes courage, guts, and grace.

It takes respect for yourself, to see your past and how it has shaped you to be the person you are today, reading this.

The good news is that as you take the steps to get to know who you really are, you will find treasures, love, acceptance, peace and strengths you have forgotten even existed.

I would even dare to say you will find or rediscover your ‘purpose’ and ‘passion’ that have become buried under the adult responsibilities, or the past hurts of childhood.

THOUGHTS BECOME THINGS

“IF YOU CAN THINK A THOUGHT

YOU CAN CHANGE A THOUGHT”

All thoughts are OPTIONAL.

This one little phrase is what set me on the road to reunite myself with me.

You see, if I can think a thought, I can also change that thought to think something better, a thought that enables me to be free from my past and the hang ups that followed me from childhood.

My intention for you is that this one phrase will sink deep into your soul to give you your power back as it did for me.

When you head over to Facebook to read my daily posts, you will find more tips on how I began to unravel the layers of hurt, guilt and shame.

Remember this is an ongoing process.

Everyday I find more areas that need setting free, so I can love myself unconditionally, I use these tools and tips almost everyday.

YOU ARE NOT BROKEN: YOU NEVER HAVE BEEN.

YOU MAY BE BRUISED AND HURT AND IN NEED OF HEALING.

YOU MAY HAVE HIDDEN YOUR EMOTIONS FROM YOURSELF TO SURVIVE.

YOU ARE NOT BROKEN

Self-love is your right and it’s within your grasp.

Head over to Facebook and look me up @lindacodlin25 and I’ll walk you through what I did to find my true self.

Until next week my friends, I hope to see you everyday this month.

Linda Codlin.

SELF-LOVE is your right,

SELF-LOVE is within your grasp.

Connect with me for The Month of Self-Love

Facebook @lindacodlin25

@authentic living with linda

15 Steps to SELF-LOVE

Hello, My Friends,

As the New Year steams into view, I thought I’d have a look at something I’ve been working on in my life. It is an area that I has made such a difference to the way I view everything. It is my hope that this topic will also help you to have the most fulfilling year in 2021.

SELF-LOVE

My goal for the year 2020 was to love and respect myself first.

You see, I had a tendency to put the needs and requirements of everyone else ahead of my own, and then I’d feel hard done by, or used, or I’d pull out the martyr card. I’d get angry because what I needed wasn’t being fulfilled, but I didn’t really know what I needed to feel fulfilled.

This year I decided to love and respect me. The problem was I had no idea what that looked like.

I couldn’t imagine or even know what loving myself meant.

As we go through January’s month of SELF-LOVE I will be sharing some of the things I used to uncover what self-love looked like for me.

It is my hope that some of these tools will enable you to begin to bring some love for yourself into your life.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this self-love road is a long one, it is a journey of discovery that I am still on. I still have many areas where, self-doubt, fear, scarcity, unforgiveness, guilt and shame live.

It is my intention to continue this journey using the tools I have found, and which I will share with you.

15 ways I started to build SELF-LOVE

  1. Becoming MINDFUL of the self chatter in my head.
  2. Self-talk, creating space between the negative to insert the positive.
  3. Affirmations- Giving my brain something positive to focus on. “I AM” statements
  4. Retelling the stories of my past in a better light.
  5. Realizing I am a “ONE OF A KIND’ and comparisons never help.
  6. Seeking out my inner GENIUS (We all have one)
  7. Getting real with my environment-
    1. My personal health (Weight, Body Functions, Fitness, Food)
    2. My living and working spaces (Clutter, My Stuff, Wardrobe)
    3. The people I hang out with (Work colleagues, Friends, Family)
  8. Learning to handle STRESS (We all have it and need it)
  9. That my ENERGY matters (How we do any-thing is how we do every-thing)
  10. Forgiveness- Setting myself free
  11. Releasing Perfectionism (Fear)
  12. Letting go of the CONTROLS (What we can control and what we can’t)
  13. Discovering my PLEASURE PORTFOLIO (What lights me up, enjoyment, fun, happiness)
  14. CELEBRATING, learning to notice and enjoy the wins in every day.
  15. Living AUTHENTICALLY WITH LINDA (Being true to me)

Over the coming weeks I will go into more detail on how I used each of these 15 ‘steps’ to improve the love I have for myself and how these ‘steps’ have changed my life.

This week I want to challenge you to think about what ‘SELF-LOVE’ means to you.

Do you instantly recoil from the term, self love?

What does it bring up for you? Whose voice do you hear in your mind, and what are they saying?

These are important questions to answer, they give the clues of why loving and respecting yourself has been difficult in the past.

Maybe you have self respect and love in one or two areas of your life, and struggle to see that work out into all areas.

It is my intention that over the next month I will give you some of the tools that I used to move me forward into a healthy relationship with myself.

Starting January 1st watch my Facebook page (@lindacodlin25) where I will be posting tips and tools on creating SELF-LOVE for 2021, Then weekly in this post I will review the main points.

Until then, love yourself with kindness and respect. Be your most authentic self.

Linda Codlin

See you on January 1st over at @lindacodlin25

authenticlivingwithlinda Facebook page.

The Hidden Joy and Peace Within

Life brings Tears, Smiles, and Memories,

The tears dry, the smiles fade,

But memories last forever.

Hello, My friends.

This week I have had my granddaughter staying, we have been doing a lot of different activities. Things I’d forgotten I used to love, like riding a push bike, a genuine push bike- no peddling, no going type bike. We zoomed down hills, with our legs lifted off the peddles, enjoying the wind rushing past and struggled up the other side, wobbling with aching legs, laughing, hooting and hollering. We sat on the river bank, our fishing lines thrown out as far as we could manage, we laughed as we tangled them in the trees behind us, caught herrings for the cats, and a snotty twisty turning eel. They sure know how to wriggle and mess up a line. We have watched movies and just been us.

When was the last time you have just been you?

Do you even remember what it was like to be you?

When you were 7-13 what were the things you enjoyed?

Did you enjoy the great outdoors, camping, tramping and biking? Or did you prefer museums, art galleries and aquariums? Did you read books, comics, and magazines, discovering far off exotic places that excited your imagination, were you a pirate on the wild seas, or did you imagine living in luxury, in a massive castle with secret passageways and servants?

Remind yourself of all the fun days, you had dreaming about the unknown, and the thrill of discovering things you never knew before.

Remember the wonder of watching a caterpillar, spin itself into a chrysalis, then daily waiting for it to reappear, to find a beautiful butterfly, amazed at the transformation you had just witnessed.

Remember sitting on the side of the road watching the tar machine, spew out it’s hot, smelly, black goo all over the road, and wonder how the metal truck that followed never got stuck to the road.

Remember playing with your favourite doll, dressing her in the prettiest flowing dresses, pushing her in the pram, feeding her and cuddling her, dreaming of the day you’d be a mother.

Remember riding your bike, racing with the other kids, doing the time trials and beating your best time, soaring over the jumps, making the machine do the twists mid air, practicing and practicing until you could do it perfectly.

We remember these times as being carefree, when we didn’t have a worry or care.

As an adult we let these memories dissolve into the distant past, a memory, a feeling of a forgotten era.

This week I enjoyed the exhilaration of taking a few moments to recreate that feeling of freedom, to reawaken the lost joy of living. Living right now in this moment without an agenda, or a goal, or a desire.

Not thinking of all the things that need my attention, my worries about Christmas, shopping, meals, next years goals, this years uncompleted goals. None of that entered my mind.

I lived in the moment, enjoyed the wind on my face, enjoyed the pleasure of being free, enjoyed the feeling of having a body that ‘kinda’ responds when I ask it to.

I was free, I felt like I was soaring above all the cares and woes that hold me tethered to my life.

Yes, I know it was but for a moment, I had to return to reality, Christmas is still coming, shopping still needs to be done, and meals still need planning, cooking and cleaning up after.

But my spirit was lighter, I was smiling on the inside. I felt lighter.

I knew the abundance of being alive, of being free.

My challenge for you this week is to find the space to be yourself, to find that inner child and for half and hour set it free, dream the dreams of yesteryear without judgement, fear, or self ridicule.

Be yourself, your goofy, fun loving self. Sit outside at night and watch the stars sharing their twinkle dust with you. Sit in the park and listen to the children on the swings, squeal with delight.

Sit on the swing yourself and gently let it move you. (Safely)

Go for a walk among the trees, let the dappled sunlight caress your arms.

Get lost in a story, for the sheer joy of being a part of the story.

Let yourself, be.

When we came into this world we had an innate knowing we were enough, we knew we had everything we needed. We took a breath and then we breathed it out again.

Sit with yourself, take a breath in, and let it go, receive self love and let it go, breathe in self love, and then breathe out self love, let the balance of being you fill your body, and then send it into the Universe, Receive love and let it go.

When we learn to love ourselves first, we also learn to give love, Receive love, receive the inner peace that you are enough, and you are okay.

Feel the joy of being,

In January I plan on covering what self love could look like for you.

Until next week, make time to find your inner child and have some fun being you.

Linda Codlin.

If you want help to find freedom, to live a life of joy and peace email me at

authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com

reach out on Facebook

@lindacodlin25

What does Self-Belief & Abundance Have in Common?

ABUNDANCE COMES FROM THE SEEDS OF GRATITUDE.

The land of abundance is big enough to accommodate us all, clear your abundant river of the boulders that hold back the waters.

Hello, My friends.

This week has seen me tick off one of the projects I have been working on. Wallpaper and painting done, the office is complete and ready to be refurnished. It feels so great to accomplish a goal, especially a goal that is as visual as a room make over.

This week I’ve been thinking about abundance and self belief and how they are intertwined.

Abundance is having more than enough of everything. As I mentioned in my Facebook post @lindacodlin25, I choose a word of the year, which I then use as a filter to sieve my thoughts and emotions through. My word for 2020 was ABUNDANCE.

There have been a few ways in which focusing on this word has changed my life. I am confident that these items will also change your life and the way you interact with wealth, money, and your self-belief if you begin to add them into your life.

1/ Becoming more grateful.

Yes! I’m sure you have heard about giving thanks for everything.

The grateful I’m talking about here is when you have an emotional response, you feel the gratitude in the pit of your stomach, tears well up in the back of your eyes, and you get that lump in your throat, when you feel over-whelmed and over-awed by the goodness of your life.

This gratitude changes the energy vibration within our cells, and attracts the the things we are grateful for. Abundance lives in an energy frequency, and when we tap into that frequency consistently, and do the actions that we know we need to do- (these tend to be the thoughts, or pictures of the mind, prompting us, which are extremely easy to miss in the busyness of our every day lives.) When we act on these promptings it sets the wheels in motion for the abundance to flow to us.

2/ Taking inspired ACTION from subconscious mind.

Our subconscious mind never sleeps, it is always gathering data, and collating it. When we ask it a question it goes into over drive to find an answer, which shows up when we least expect it. Have you ever lost your car keys? You’ve done the mad dash looking and trying to remember where you were last. To find that as you give up and make other plans your mind tells you exactly where you left them. This is the secret of your subconscious mind.

Ask your subconscious mind great questions, and it will show you abundant answers, follow the instructions you are given and more abundance will follow.

Without action, these will just be wishes and dreams, they won’t become reality. For thoughts to become reality they needs legs, and usually the best suited legs belong to the mind who created the ideas. Take inspired action.

3/ Abundance likes to be treated with love and respect.

Having abundance is a mindset.

Have you ever seen a wealthy person who is too afraid to use their wealth for fear of losing it, or for fear that someone will take it away from them.

Abundance likes to be treated with respect.

Do you treat the items you have in your possession with respect? Do you take care of them? Do you use them wisely, not being too precious with them that they are for display only, or too rough with them that they break before their time?

Scarcity and lack are the opposites of abundance, and these are also mindsets.

If we can think a thought, we can change that thought.

With scarcity and lack we tend to want to hold onto our money and things tightly, grasping them so tightly they have no room to move, to flow in or out and back into our lives.

4/ When we give value to others, abundance flows to us.

Money is energy, for energy to be useful it needs to flow. When we hold onto anything tightly, it eventually feels suffocated and tries to escape the bonds that are holding it. Abundance is the same, the tighter you hold it, the less you have of it. When you give value to others, the doors of abundance swing open, it is a cycle of give and receive, give and receive.

Our very life is dependent on the principle of giving and receiving. As we inhale oxygen, we exhale carbon dioxide, without the inhale, there would be no exhale, and without the exhale we wouldn’t be able to inhale. Give and receive. Our life depends on it.

Abundance likes to be held gently, tenderly. Let it flow in and flow out, and in again, balanced with the giving and receiving.

5/ Abundance comes where it is wanted, and stays where it is welcome.

As youngsters we learned what to think and feel about money and wealth. We pick up ideas of how people with wealth behave, positive and negative, we watch how our families, communities, and society interact with money and wealth, and how we treat each other in relation to wealth and money, then we drew up conclusions about whether we want it or not, and how we should behave around wealth and money.

Have you ever wondered why money comes to you easily, but never stays?

Have you struggled to earn money and keep it?

Do you find yourself saying things like, I can’t find the money to pay the bills? Reminding the children that money doesn’t grow on trees, telling yourself that you can’t afford to buy that and probably never will.

These are the thoughts that sabotage your abundance.

They act like a boulders in the stream of abundance, the wealth wants to flow to you, however it can’t get round or over these boulders. Only a trickle seeps to the other side. If we were to break the boulders up and remove them to unblock the river, abundance would flow, and we would have the riches to create the life we want and to impact the lives of those around us.

These boulders are thought patterns you have inherited from someone else, it is time to look at them and decide if they are serving you in the life you are living today and if they will serve you in the life you want to live tomorrow.

These thought patterns are within your ability to change.

Abundance and Self-Belief are intertwined, as you learn to trust and believe in yourself, you are willing to take the action that creates abundance.

What you tell yourself, about yourself, determines whether you think you are worthy, or deserving or good enough to receive abundance.

What you tell yourself, about yourself, also determines what action you will take.

If you perceive you are not worthy or deserving, or good enough, you most likely won’t even try.

I want to let you know, that you are worthy, deserving and good enough to begin the journey of changing the way you talk, to yourself and about yourself.

You are worthy, deserving and good enough to have abundance flowing through your life.

If I can move my life from a place of scarcity and lack up the scale into abundance so can you.

Begin with the steps above, trust your subconscious mind to find the best answers to your great and strong questions. Take the action suggested, follow your gut instinct, and see where it leads you.

Until next week, find your abundance within your authentic self.

Linda Codlin

If you are wanting to break up the boulders blocking your abundant river flow.

Contact me at authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com

Facebook @lindacodlin25

For a life altering coaching session.

Christmas is calling are you ready?

Hello, My friends.

Christmas is looming at us quickly. This week flew by so quickly, I don’t think I had time to catch up with myself.

This week I thought I would scratch the surface of a gnarly subject so close to Christmas.

Finances.

Do you have enough money to make your ends meet easily? Or are you stretched to capacity?

Do you feel like you never have enough money to do the day to day things, and now Christmas is almost here? Panic is setting in, anxiety over how you will pay the bills and get the gifts and the food, and still make the rent or mortgage.

What if I told you money is energy, it is a medium with which we exchange our energy.

Our energy is released in the things we do, that offer value to others and we are paid in relation to the value they place on our energy.

What are you doing to exchange your energy for money? Are you so valuable that if you stopped giving the service or product you exchange, there would be a huge gap and the company or people who employ you for your energy would struggle to replace you?

What would it take for you to be that valuable? How could you give more value? Be the most cheerful receptionist? Give the presentation that wows the sales team, that keeps them interested and motivated? Be the parent who gives your child love and understanding, teaching them they are enough?

Money is important. It is vital to the way we live in our world.

How we earn and invest our money says a lot about who we are. I have heard some say, that money corrupts good people, does it? Or was the ‘corruption’ already in their personality, just unseen.

I believe we get to decide what we believe about anything, and that includes money. Money can not corrupt if there is nothing for it to corrupt. Money can not do anything unless you choose to let it.

You may have noticed I said ‘invest our money’ instead of spending our money. It is a minor shift in wording, but it has a major shift in how we feel about the money we give to others. You are exchanging your energy for the items you wish to purchase, it is an energy exchange as well as a physical exchange.

When you go to the supermarket to purchase your groceries, instead of thinking I spent all that money, think I INVESTED all this money in our health and well-being.

Instead of paying your bills, think of the services, or products you are receiving and how investing in those services and products are making your life better or easier.

It’s a subtle shift, and it welcomes your money, it makes your money feel useful.

Imagine that your money was in a relationship with you.

Would it feel loved and welcome in your home? Does it get talked about with respect, or does it cause arguments and fights? Do you make time to treat your money well, or does it get neglected? Do you take your money out or does it have to hide, are you embarrassed by having money? or are you embarrassed because you don’t seem to keep money.

Money is a lot like people, it goes where it is welcome and stays where it is loved and respected.

How do you feel about money? Is it your friend? Does it come to you willingly? Does it stay with you from one payday to the next?

There are two ways to increase your money, Earn more than you spend, spend less than you earn. And save the difference, then make this money work harder for you that you did to earn it.

As we move into the Christmas season, be mindful of your money and the energy that you gave to earn it. Give it wisely, invest in your loved ones, invest in yourself.

As an aside, when you have debt, you are enslaved by the body you owe money to. If you can it is a good thing to get yourself free from the debt trap. The debt trap seems to suck the life and vitality out of our lives, leaving us feeling hopeless, helpless and trapped.

Feeling like I’ll never make ends meet, like there is more month than there is money, wishing if only I could buy…., feeling despondent because the kids need shoes, the car repair bill needs paying.

I get it, I’ve been there. I know what it’s like not to have food to put on the table, or money to buy clothes, to have a car that still has a balance owing on it and needs repairs done to it, to worry about where the money is going to come from to pay for school books and school clothes, to have that tight knot in my belly knowing that I have Christmas gifts to buy and the pressure to keep up with the “Rellies’ with a bank account in the single dollars.

Over time and with help, I got out of the debt trap, learned how to put money aside for necessities, and to save, to purchase what I need with the money I have and to pay off all the credit cards, car debt, and even the mortgage.

It is possible, it does take diligence and perseverance, it will seem difficult as you retrain your mind to better habits. I have found that the freedom of having money and an abundant mindset far outweighs the fear and shame of hiding from my situation, and not being in a great place with money.

I can help you to change your energy around your money, give you motivation, tools and support to move your finances in the direction you wish.

This week I challenge you to bless your money before you send it off on it’s mission to create a better life for you. Invest your energy, your money in things and services that expand and make you a better person this Christmas season.

Until next week, be true to yourself and investigate where you are with your finances.

Linda Codlin

If you want help to get on top of your finances, I can help you to escape the debt trap.

Email me to book a coaching session

authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com

find me on facebook @lindacodlin25

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Mirror, Mirror, Who is that reflection?

“The mirror is my best friend because when I cry it never laughs.”- Charlie Chaplin

“As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is authenticity.”- Charlie Chaplin

Hello, My friends.

Have you looked in the mirror lately, and the reflection staring back at you is vaguely familiar.

You know that person, or at least you used to. Maybe you have a few, more wrinkles, a bit more sadness in your eyes, your body is not the shape you are familiar with. You wonder where did the youthfulness and playfulness go.

Now, let me say this. I am not talking about age, your age is just a number. Your age will only stop you if you let it.

I am talking about the enthusiasm of loving life.

When was the last time you laughed so hard your sides hurt. The kind of genuine laugh that a small child has when they see something new and intriguing. A contagious laugh, one that ‘set the whole world smiling’ as the song goes. A laugh where it didn’t matter what other people think.

Or cried so much you could not cry another tear. Did you know that tears are a healthy way of washing our souls clean? Tears are good for you. Did you also know you don’t have to be sad, or mad or frustrated to shed tears? What? I know! Why wasn’t this memo sent to everyone? Often you feel like you can only cry when life feels so bad, when you’ve been screwed over – again, when some-one has broken your trust – again and nothing is ever going to go your way again, these tears are part of the party that is called to celebrate the worst part of life, the pity party, the woe is me party, and the he/she has done me wrong party.

These parties are directly related to the thoughts you are thinking.

You can also cry tears of joy, love, peace and success. These tears are like gold, they celebrate all the good things in life. The arrival of long unseen family and friends, The certificate or degree, that represents all the hours of study and work behind the scenes, The feeling of love and acceptance of a good job well done, The feeling of having achieved, the sensation of ‘I did it’ ‘I’m so proud of myself’ These parties tend to be smaller and more intimate in nature, they are more fragile, and by invitation only.

Why is that? Is it because we are more vulnerable, we hide the good as if we are ashamed of it, just in case some big foot will come stomping through our beautiful sandcastle, that took all morning to create.

These parties are also directly related to the thoughts we think.

Have you ever seriously asked yourself, “Why do I ….. always attract cheating men/ women, always end up with no money, always give more time than I want to, always sabotage myself, always end up in this place, why does this keep happening to me?

I’ll give you a clue.

It has to do with the thoughts that you think, and the secret beliefs you hold about yourself.

For most people, you try to cover up the feeling of lack, the feeling of not having enough, or being enough, with other people or stuff, or you try to make yourself seem bigger than you are by the activities you involve yourself in. Some people go into theatre, to be the centre of attention, some go into giving and charity work to prove they are worthy of respect. Some live small lives afraid of being seen, some use their size and power to keep others under control, some use and abuse their authority to make them feel significant.

The underlying belief and lie that has been absorbed into your subconscious mind, and is evident in the way you choose your friends, your career, your lover, your spouse, your surroundings, your living standard, the way you allow people to talk to you, to treat or mistreat you, the way you respond or react to people who don’t agree with you.

Is that ‘I AM NOT ENOUGH’ ‘I AM NOT WORTHY’

When you begin to believe you are enough and you are worthy, you begin to know within yourself, that you have nothing to prove. You are good enough the way you are. You are not broken and have never been broken, you are enough and you are worthy, you no longer have to put up with being someone else’s verbal or physical punching bag, you no longer have to be less than anyone, you are equal, you are enough and you are worthy, you discover you have a voice and that there are people who want to hear what you have to say.

Your confidence begins to grow, you begin to think better thoughts about yourself, and begin to put in better boundaries around you.

I want you to write on your mirror with maker pen, or lipstick, in big bold letters.

I AM ENOUGH!

I AM WORTHY!

When you look in the mirror read these words to yourself, repeat them over and over.

This simple statement by-passes the truth vs lie detector in your brain, because you have always been enough, from birth you knew you were perfect, you had no fear, no shame, you were enough because you were. That is the secret ingredient that has been buried in our lives, we’ve forgotten we are enough and always have been.

I would encourage you to start a journal, take note of the arguments that come back at you when you begin to state to yourself, I AM ENOUGH! I AM WORTHY! These are the thoughts that are keeping you locked in the behaviour patterns that decide which party you attend, the pity party or the celebration party.

Believe you are enough, if you are breathing, you are enough, if you can think, think the best about yourself. You are worthy of the best, and it begins with the way you think about yourself.

My challenge for you is to be brave enough to write:

I AM ENOUGH! I AM WORTHY!

On your bathroom mirror, on a post note attached to the steering wheel of your car, as your computer or phone screensaver / wallpaper, make an I AM ENOUGH! bracelet- and ping it every-time you notice the thought ‘I can’t’ and replace it with I am enough, I can.

I would love to hear how you find doing this challenge.

Head over to Facebook and leave me a comment, @lindacodlin25 -authenticlivingwithlinda

Until next time, Know you are enough and you always have been.

Linda Codlin.

If you’d like further guidance on how your mind can be trained to work for you. I can coach you to train your mind.

For a life changing, coaching session contact me…

email: authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com

find me on Facebook @lindacodlin25

Ocean liner Vs Dingy You Get to Choose.

Choose to live a big life.

A life full of excitement and love.

A life that makes you sit on the edge of your chair.

Hello, My friends.

Have you ever felt like you were on the edge of something huge, and all you have to do is step into it?

It’s that feeling of elation and fear mixed together.

Like when you asked some one to marry you? You have put yourself out there, facing the possibility of rejection or the promise of the best thing to happen yet?

This week I went to a concert, There were people of all ages, young and mature, who ventured onto the stage to perform.

Some were so afraid they forgot their lines, others happily performed with confidence, and some involved the audience creating a rapport that it didn’t matter how good they were, everyone joined in.

I applaud these people, they were willing to get out of their comfort zone to entertain us, and have a great time in doing so.

Are you, like me sitting in a 10 foot aluminum dingy, this dingy has been my home and my life for more years than I want to admit.

It has served me well, kept me afloat when events and circumstances threatened to capsize me. I have felt safe in the smallness, and secure in knowing how to manage this small dingy.

Lately, I have had the opportunity to leave my little dingy.

I’m standing on the edge of a new and exciting venture, scared half to death, excited and thrilled all at the same time.

The ocean liner of my future has pulled beside me, it is big, bigger than anything I have seen so far in my life.

Within this ocean liner is the promise of the fulfillment of my future potential.

I’m hanging onto the rope, teetering on the edge, the water is lapping at my small and comfortable boat.

Looking at the ocean liner blocking any sight of the horizon, do I swing and take the chance or do I let the rope go and stay safe.

Have you ever felt in this situation?

Have you known that the best thing to do is to swing and move into the uncomfortable, with the promise of a life of everything you’ve ever wanted?

What has stopped you?

Could it be that you don’t believe you are good enough?

Could it be that your self image won’t allow you to see and feel the confident you, that is waiting for you to move.

Could it be that you don’t believe you deserve all the ‘good’ things life has to offer you?

Where did you get this belief?

Whose, is the little voice you hear telling you to stay in your small safe little boat?

Is it the voice of reason? Your parents, your church, your culture?

These voices want you to be safe and happy. These voices are guiding you from their road map.

You must find and create your own road map. To find happiness and peace you are the only one who can tell you whether to swing or not.

When you build your own road map, you are in complete control of you.

You get to decide what you want your life to look like. The type of friends you have, How you dress, How you earn your money, How much money you earn, Where you invest your energy and talents.

You get to decide where you live, and what you want in your dwelling.

When you decide to swing from the safety of the past, into the unknown of the future, you get to take with you only the thoughts and actions you choose to think and do.

Will you join me in swinging from the aluminum dingy onto the ocean liner?

Will you join me in creating a new heading for the future?

Charting a course that will change everything.

Starting with your mindset-

The thoughts that you think influence what you believe to be true of the world around you and the world within you.

Your thoughts and beliefs are what are keeping you in the dingy. Thoughts and beliefs are entirely in your control.

As you upgrade your thoughts and beliefs, your actions will also be upgraded, your ability to believe that you deserve the life that the ocean liner is promising increases.

You have the confidence to swing onto the ocean liner, to face the fear of the turbulent waters beneath and you have the confidence to deal with creating a new life, and a new road map and all the obstacles that may appear.

There is no promise of smooth sailing, although you will have better skills to deal with the stroms.

There is a promise of a life well lived with active participation, as you create your heading, you get to decide what you want in your life and how you respond to life’s circumstances.

I have the tools to help you to gain the confidence to swing from your dingy to the ocean liner, and set sail for your brightest future.

Be true to you, live your most authentic life this week, swing, take a chance.

Until next time.

Linda Codlin

Allow me to show you how to release the confidence that is within you.

Swing onto the ocean liner of your future life. Join me for an adventure that will change our lives for ever.

Email me for a coaching session on

authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com

The Golden Goose Vs The Golden Eggs

The goose that lays golden eggs has been considered a most valuable possession.

Hello, My Friends.

This week I have been thinking about self care, and what that means to our life and family.

When my children were young, I had four children under the age of four. A wise woman from the church I went to could see I was worn out trying to care for everyone. I was trying to be the “perfect” wife, mother and home maker. I was in the middle of stripping walls for repapering, breast feeding the baby, teething and toilet training, my husband at the time was away a week at a time studying to further his career. I was stressed. She took me to one side and explained to me the benefit of learning to take care of myself first, before my husband, my children, even the church. This was a lesson that took me close to ten years to actually sink in, and another ten- fifteen years to put into practice regularly.

The Goose & the Golden Egg from Aesop’s Fable

There was once a Countryman who possessed the most wonderful Goose you can imagine, for every day when he visited the nest, the Goose had laid a beautiful, glittering, golden egg.

The Countryman took the eggs to market and soon began to get rich. But it was not long before he grew impatient with the Goose because she gave him only a single golden egg a day. He was not getting rich fast enough.

Then one day, after he had finished counting his money, the idea came to him that he could get all the golden eggs at once by killing the Goose and cutting it open. But when the deed was done, not a single golden egg did he find, and his precious Goose was dead.

Can I hear you thinking, how silly is that farmer?

I want to put a self care spin on this. Imagine you are the the golden goose, you are the one who provides for your family, you create the riches, you give yourself and your family all the things that you’ve ever wanted. You tend to the emotional and spiritual needs of your family, anything they want and need you provide.

The golden eggs are the things you provide for your family. The latest xbox with the most up to date games, the television in the lounge, the house that you live in, the car that you drive.

Your time is part of being the golden goose. How are you investing your time? Are you using your time to renovate houses, restore cars, play computer games, have holidays with family, play with your children, or take time to be your wife.

The golden goose has needs, for it to continue to lay the golden eggs, it needs to take exquisite care of itself. Part of this care is the food that the goose eats, does it provide energy, and increase the overall well-being of the goose. Part of this care is the hours and quality of sleep attained. The hours of work needed to produce the golden eggs, the mental attitude of the goose determines how the goose sees what it is doing as valuable, and important. The golden goose needs to take time to rest and relax, to unwind and chill. The golden goose knows it needs to have balance, to give and receive love.

How much time and energy do you spent polishing the golden eggs, rather than looking after the golden goose?

Which is more important the goose or the egg?

The television, the holiday, the family. In balance the golden goose will produce more and be at peace and happy. Without balance the goose will be stressed and eventually will wear itself out, withering and dying, unable to produce any more eggs.

How are you taking care of your golden goose?

Are you polishing eggs to the neglect of the goose?

Until next week look after your golden goose.

Linda Codlin

If you’re looking to discover how to take exquisite care of your golden goose, email me for a transformational coaching session.

email me on authenticlivingwithlinda@gmail.com